(I don't care if nobody believes me or cares for this stuff, I want to vent my truth out. I don't take screens and what I have will remain private as I hate callouts. I've lost a friend to suicide because of those and I am terrified and disgusted of this online behaviour unless it's about pedos or Real Scammers, which are kinda difficult to spot if they really want to scam inside small fandom community. use your brain. anyway, I just desire to say my truth about the callouts that eventually made me jobless again, tossed me for days in the hospital after a suicide attempt where I was unfortunately saved, all for the so called onesided((only one person gets to say their truth and people judge)) justice such as callout culture. ps: sorry for shit english, idc as long as its understandable.)

| TW: narcissistic personality, manipulation, using triggers and verbal abuse to instigate rage/breakdowns, instigation to suicide, attempted suicide, ableism, sexual harrassment, invalidation, toxic relationships, manipulating people to harrass & accuse using lies, hiding stuff(especially this), criminal accusations, induced jealousy and paranoia, etc |

- I was harassed with heavy, criminal false accusations, using private screens regarding my mental illness that were conveniently cut, private infos such as my personal email or where I live, possibly my therapist's name(I'm not sure about this, so I'll keep it as a suspicioun), my accounts leaked etc. I am accused of being a fraud + a moneygrabber impersonator, not having cancer, not having being homeless or risking to return one, not being queer.

- the so called "lie" about my condition is true. I have to wait like every broke and alone cancer patient for the surgery that can possibly save my life. I can't pay, I never asked anyone to pay my chemo or anything related to my illnesses, aside from some meds, I mostly "e-begged" for basic survival and I didn't earn "quite a lot of money from scamming" at all. And yes, without surgery I have in my clinical record the possibility of remaining alive for no more than a year, if I'm lucky. And of course, after a while surgery does nothing. So thanks for trying, but I Am dying, unless I hurt myself and succeed or I survive because I get called in no more than three months from September.

- I mass block out of fear of unjustful humiliations. since that person's suicide I'm very paranoid toward people cruelty. so no, I didn't blocked people with the elaborate schemes of hiding. I blocked everyone who that user made me paranoid upon thanks to his abuses. I was scared of people instead of being scared of the source of my problems who now lives free and supported. like he always wanted. he just took a fast way (me) to seek attention and is very good at elaborate logical sense to his action when, more than once, you need to know him better to know he lives in excuses and hide truths to protect his skin.

- I want to be clear of this thing: everyone has multiple accounts, or the majority of us. Aside from the 'impersonating account', all the others were made not to scam...but to order. I am proship and problematic, and had severe issues with them. I used different nicknames and differences in my bios to separate problematic, from non-problematic, to a more personal account like "carnal_ritual" that I had mostly, at the time, used as a log of my life and the center of my so called e-begging. Like many of us on twitter, we want some freedom. For example the witcher fandom is full of antis, and I preferred to lay low with problematic content, sticking to geraskier that is morally accepted. There was NO other account I remember using to create "new stories" or whatever the hell. I organized my social life that harrassers decided to destroy. Now I'm on one twitter, minding my business.

- Funny how one dmc artist had roasted me days before for misgendering out of a trigger a criminal, (I thought people were defending the actor, not the act of dehumanize as a past victim of CSA a being I barely see worthy of being still in society and not in jail to rot. I admit it was wrong and raised heavy accusations that I later deleted and apologized for. I was wrong to spoil said criminal of their pronouns, it just disgusts me that some people are in the queer community and accepted as people that "can change". To me there's redeption to a point, after doing what Ezra Miller((said celeb)) did and is doing.) and then had no issues snitching against me with his friends I saw as cool, not having bothered to talk to me after years of me being around, as dmc is my oldest fandom I'm still on.

- It's said I used servers to boost my need of financial help, true: but if it was a problem just say it and I would've deleted everything. Said "lies I said" btw, were documented as much as I could in the middle of the streets, sending to the people who donated and asked me receipts of what I would buy with their money, photos, locations, etc without any issue. My entire situation was said as clear as possible and I was always available to talk about what happened to me in more details as stated over and over. it's true that my life is a fucked up insane situation. sorry if it sounds like a visual novel but believe me when I say even my therapist thinks so, and had to check troughtly through proof and her visiting me before confirming that yes, I have indeed a shit life of an horror visual game or smth. Clearly what was done to me is illegal, but it's the internet, so.

- I think I'm done with hiding. I was so terrified I couldn't work, and was naive to talk to my boss about the tweets. Bad move, I know. I got fired to avoid issues for my boss in case stuff were real. I've tried to take my life and failed. My therapist attested on paper the truth and that's all I got.

- The person taking revenge on me took advantage of me multiple times during the last year. After long argues I finally made him confess he used me during summer for company and used my selfies to jerk off. At the time I admit I was okay, because we both had strong crush, he admitted at the time that if it wasn't for distance he would've tried to date me with serious intentions. All bullshit I feel for, my fault on this.

- He even got very offended and aggressive when, while waiting for him (and he was always: don't do it for me, do what you want during the day, but then...) I had things to do at night such as watching a stream(one day he went ham on me over watching my usual favourite streamer and then apologized saying "I don't know what I felt", bro it's called jealousy and need of control over your victims) or sleeping very late(he would make fun of my insomnia at times and way too many times used it to talk to me more), saying things like "I want my dolly ready to welcome me" even when I was annoyed by his behaviour or I wanted my space, or to talk about his shit behaviour that he would always defend. I was ALWAYS wrong to him. still am. look at the mirror sometimes my man. I'm dysphoric and took courage and had trust to send him photos, telling him my life and secrets and deepest traumas. Of how much I hate callout culture because the other side is never listened, no matter if there are "perfect evidences", screens conveniently taken out of context or without it, or zero evidences at all. Civil justice shouldn't be allowed to judge for this reason.

- I was harrassed and misgendered(I'm genderfluid, just because you "don't care because you're happy with your androgyny" doesn't mean not allowing me the pronouns I'm using. I argued about it until he got it, callouts aside in the end.), manipulated by this person. I would send him said private,(that I hope he didn't spread, I'm scared he did some kind of revenge porn aside the first callout since he's all about me sexualizing him like I'm some kind of pervert) pictures or super cute as I could look and he would address my chest repeatedly, even if I always said to him not to. Everything but the chest, a issue I'm trying to get over with. He would say again "I'm androgynous, so I don't get it. I like them and that's it." using boobs memes. it made me feel ashamed, but I forgave out of care for him.

- After last summer being all lovey dovey with me(checking when I was online, talking and calling me every day to play the witcher etc) but clearly messed up with some red flags already appearing, he suddenly Forgot me and started to ignore me. At first it was school, and I understood when his majesty would take time to explain after days or even an entire month of argues and no answers. then it became No VMS no calls etc, only chatting. I would ask him to support my edits and he would ignore me on twitter, like he never knew me, I never mattered like he said, then invalidating my pain, and using my dependency disorder he knew of to trigger extreme anxiety in me and later on, the rage you may have seen or not on his screens. he would trigger me willingly with things I asked him not to say to me, I even trusted him to keep our argues so that I could send them to my therapist to help me understand my issues and get better at handling my fucked mind. said screens were used for the callout.

- He always said he was ugly, so I wanted to help him by moderating an IG / accounts for him to make him see he was as charming as i saw him. He would say "I have nothing interesting to say" so I volunteered to be the one talking and moderating, showing him the results every week. After months of never communicating if not through chatting, he called me for the first time and hesitated but agreed. I thought then, I had the freedom to use his pics when he wanted me to. We never talked about that after, I'm getting that he didn't want evidences for me to have about against his "me impersonating him" bullshit and that was why he called me instead of chatting as usual.

- We fought a lot and recently, but dealt with almost everything we went through. He says now he 'had to put up with me' but we both hurt each other, and he decided to call me out to be sure to come out clean. He repeated what a person in his life did to him, even if he had asked me in the past to 'hack his account to let him pay' and I backed off after a while because no, I'm not risking my ass again for your issues, as he never wanted to care too much - or simply couldn't, about mine. Then, a few months ago, my brother assaulted me. i won't elaborate on this, sorry. This ex-special person was detached and uncaring when I told him, mostly. I asked him company, and he still maintained cold distance and the usual. With Cptsd, DPD and an ongoing trauma, plus a bad dropout from meds I couldn't afford (despite the donations, chemo & company meds drains your wallet), I couldn't take it anymore and exploded into a heavy breakdown. Or a maniacal attack, whatever you want to call me. I went nuts and delusional and elevated that person as "perfect" in every aspect, instead of blocking him and leave. I wanted to be loved, to forget what the fuck happened to me. My brain fried and he knows I couldn't sleep more than usual, making me even more unstable. Still, he would take every word I would blurt out that sometimes had no sense at all (me being heavily jelly of his internet friends, not understanding their native language and misuranderstand their behavior, everything that you may have seen and felt offended or disgusted by was a result of MONTHS of arguing he would blame on me, when he was the first at ignoring, triggering and then complaining about my state of mind or what I would say during said induced rage issues).

- I never created and IG of him. That's maybe, I repeat maybe, a lie probably to enhance his accusations. Or if I did, I apologize for not remembering. As I said, I'm not always lucid at all like it seemed, and suffer from memory loss and understanding issues, even the most basic shit you can possibly read or hear. It took me ages to learn English and I still suck at it tbh. He says I'm fluent, but I'm good at it, I think. that's all. I fuck up often and he knew well, especially when agitated from both sides we always went shit English mode, it was a normal thing. So I would mess up wording as well, as he would, and we learned to ask "can you elaborate on this, because it seems this and that" to give each other a chance to think it over when possible. This was conveniently cropped off or tossed aside as his "I trusted this person" bullshit. Narcisists tend to attract people to act as the only victim of their own crimes.

- I would forget random shit we would later laugh it off. I liked when he called me dummy in a gentle way, and would take time to explain to me things I didn't remember or couldn't understand immediately like normal people do. I remember the discord account and twitter I did "as him". when I started to feel better, I realized I was mixing our conversations and my traumatic delusionsm and tried to stop with this obsession. I talked to my therapist, showed her everything, asked why I did what I did and if I could talk to him about it. She said no, delete everything(I thought I did, or perhaps hallucinated it as I was just starting my meds again - I'm shit at remembering even the most idiot things), don't tell him anything because he will Not understand and while you can't pretend for forgiveness, he might hurt you and that's worse. I never thought once that person could hurt me even in the most serious of scenarios or something. Naive.

- Turns out after a long sessions I did not to "sexualized" him like he says. In my mind during the physical and mental breakdown I was between being the traumatised child I was back then(CPTSD cool shit to go tru, right?), being stuck on our convo(the call) months ago, and the desire to end myself, erase my identity after my sexual assault and become someone else. Everything melted, I can't recall everything I thought. It was like having too many thoughts and insane colors storming in my skull while my body was always too cold or on fire, so much it was hurting. I kept silent because I knew He wouldn't care, that's probably why he saw my outbursts as me being a bitch and that's it. Not excusing, I'm just saying how I felt and what I think happened.

- My therapist confirmed this heavy attack was because of my current state after the assault and this person's gigantic manipulative behaviour that he's extending on his friends online as well, as he doesn't hold well social interaction irl (he would often complain of how 'lame' he was to his schoolmates, often getting harrassed aside from a small bunch of good people. He's probably regaining some confidence through internet, like we all do in a way or another, myself included, or when my mind is on this earth, anyway). It led me from initial submission towards him - that he desired without noticind and would hate when I was depending less on him at times without understanding why, and then, when I started to rebel noticing something was off, he made sure to make me lose my head out of spite perhaps, since he never saw himself accountable for his actions.

- For a while he admitted to me many times he felt horrible about himself, because he was making me suffer every day. He would say stuff like 'I'm not good for you" or "I'm not made to have people close, because I like to stay alone". He addressed the fact that his crush on me lasted not for long and he was like this with crushes and potential partners. When I repeated it to him days after, he would often say "I never said that. You're not understanding", a thing I never will understand, because he often made no sense but it felt like he would convienently forget to avoid arguing (he dislikes arguins for anxiety reasons), or simply to be right. He would accuse me of being obsessed with numbers(I was, and not for money. I wanted to connect to more people, simple as that. I understood later numbers don't make you more important, and he, who always stated he never cared about numbers, gave his proof and shit to a big account to use their numbers to raise 'awarness' over this crazy motherfucker -me- way better. Talking about consistency). So sometimes he would go: it's all my fault doll, maybe you should leave me, I don't deserve you. And then thank me for a while for never giving up. Then he would be aggressive and detached, disappearing until something was hurting him and he reached out to me when he wanted to talk, rarely. He is a reserved person, maybe not because he's introverted.

- He admitted to me he talked with Eru the Wild or something on twitter because she was shy and didn't liked her stuff to be reposted. I talked to the person that I didn't know they were edits, at first, as Eru was just starting in the editing world - as He said. When he told me to stop being an idiot, after a while I stopped being prideful and started to respect Eru. I used once her edit of Joey Batey as Callum not from her profile, but because I had found it on pinterest already cropped from her usual watermark "E". Her style is generally natural and minimal, as I remember, so I truly thought it was a screenshot. I never had anything against Eru, but the person would often encourage her (he told me he was the one helping her to speak against reposting her stuff, and when I saw some people reposting my edits, that are so heavily edited I can recognize mostly even without watermarks, he replied to my vent - I trusted him as he never talked to me of ever having had this convo with Eru - with a "You asked for it"), rp with her (I think, he always stayed vague to hide his bullshit) and when he would succefully trigger in me, a non jealous person - not to this degree -, paranoia, he addressed Dan as 'a dude I barely talk to' and Eru as 'someone I sometimes talk to, no one important as you, you're over-reacting'. And then RETURN to ignore me everywhere and talk with said people even a little bit. I was so desperate for his attention to be back again I would even try to force myself to seduce him with pics made to compliment my chest, even if I fucking hated it. But after a while, he said I was overwhelming, he didn't care, and he found those pics - he months ago used as fap material and would often flex that to me - unnecessary. More and more to add on my pile of shit during my huge-ass breakdown.

- before the callout, he asked me if I was mentally okay to talk about a serious thing. I said Yes, thinking the argument was going to be dealt between us, as he knew(or not at this point) I had no real cruel intentions and I suspected already what he wanted to talk about. So i tried to be as sincere as possible, promising I was not only working with my therapist about this situation, but also of being avaiable to translate mine and my therapist conversations to prove I was trying my best to stop what was happening to me(that I repeat HE instigated, molding me into submission and madness. I take responsability for my actions but not his behavior.) he suddenly out of nowhere became extremely aggressive. I got scared and felt like trash(my therapist was right, he would've Not understand and would accuse immediately, being the narcisist he is - they dislike having their victim or s/o out of their control, I did something he didn't expect, made it a state affair and cried as the victim for this reason. He said his 'condition that makes him suffer' was cool to have, because he could be feminine or masculine at will. It was something that bothered him sometimes, but he would laugh off a possible dysphoria he suffers of because, his words: 'it's not bothering me much. I'm glad I am how I am, I just don't like my features and other things, but I'm glad this condition made me androgynous, it's one of the few things I'm happy of' - he would indeed flex his androgynous appearence rather than his beauty. Because it's true, he founds himself insecure and not cute, but he's more than okay with his condition that made him an androgyne he liked to be - ... now its suddenly the worst pain of his life that I brought out without your consent? Okay -.

- Understanding is not forgivig, but it gives you the ability to leave a mentally fucked person alone instead of blasting their life even further. he made me confess without proper lucidity after a string of heavy accusations "you used me, you're a predator, you sexualized me" - everything that heavily implied I was a molester, a thing that as a victim heavily scared and triggered me. Once again, manipulating me into madness. He said once, when I misurandestood - I was literally outside under 38 degrees trying to get my computer home from the deposit it was left in on the other side of the city, I was a bit distracted - him saying I was his partner. When I was home I said: you don't treat your partner like you treat me. And he got disturbed, and said: we never were partners and never will(kinda rude, considering how determined he was last summer on repeating how perfect of a partner I would've been if it wasn't for our distance). Plus he said: I would never treat my partner like this. So YOU KNOW you're fucked up at times, you sometimes NOTICE how toxic you are, you KNOW HOW TO HIT WHERE IT HURTS, and you know how to become the victim and throw all the shit to others when needed. He basically knows how to slap someone in the face and then go sad-mode and be like: why are you hurt and angry?

- He took the screens of said confession and left. He said things like "I'm not falling for your bs anymore" when I was pleading to not leave me alone, that I was trying to get things right. He said Deal with it with your therapist. After the callout I disappeared(as the callouts said: deleted all the accounts to 'restart their fraudulent activities' - whe are in a police tv show now, and tried to kill myself with my sleeping pills. I won't elaborate on this as well.

- I'm sex repulsed because I was sold as a child, I can't sexualize people even if I wanted to. I might delevelop normal sexual interest privately and very slowly - took me a lot to send him intimate selfies without feeling like a cheap whore, but I wanted him to like him and I didn't know how to do it properly, but that's it. Fiction or actors(to a degree) okay, but it's disgusting to me to be accused of 'fetish' traits and 'sexualize' who I know irl - I knew him enough that we didn't consider ourselves internet pals.

- My therapist(I'm sorry if I mention her a lot, but she is basically my 'tutor' as I am no longer able since around a year to decide completely for myself anymore, for now hopefully. So she legally has to be present in everything important I do, and she has my consent of dealing with legal or even normal things I struggle to understand or do, that is also how she noticed my DPD, previously mistaken as Bordeline for bad healthcare issues I still struggle against) documented, during these months, the consequence of that person's narcisistic behaviour. She stated Narcisists might fake bad self-esteem, or suffer from it, but at the same time elevate themselves compared to others and are naturally attracted by manipulation and being always right when possible. Abuse can accure if the person is untreated and doesn't do anything about the problem, especially if daily exposed with an extremely cruel narcisistic family member like he is. a close member of his family is completely abusive towards him. my therapist said he could've learned certain traits, ideas and behaviour from said member of the family without even noticing. I tried to use my life experiences to help him during his difficult moments, but he saw them as lectures and after arguing with him so much, I lost my patience and started addressing often how childish he was - giving him the chance to take screens of my outburst to make me look like the old boomer trying to teach life to others. I decided to stop because he Is young and we agreed in that, and I was tired of always arguing and getting angry and toxic at each other - as said of course he saved the convos where he never talked shit. I had to go through a series of bullshit from him that was insane. Made me one even more. Funny this was took out from his callouts, isn't it.

- I did said cruel things, but I won't list everything he had said to me with the same, but cold instead, cruelty, rendering me easy to anger and spit venom out of defense I don't even recall - I didn't read my messages during the callout, I was busy crying my eyes out. He PROMISED to me that no matter what, even if it ended up with both blocking each other, he would've never do something like this as he knew I got called out years ago by almost 200 antis over a fandom I won't say, and almost wanted to die for it. When he ORDERED me to take everything off, I did everything I could remember, and asked him to wait as I was doing what he said. I locked the account to not make others see anything anymore, thinking it was right, and he went feral, saying that I blocked Eru, him etc to hide my actions. I blocked everyone in that person's following list and followers, along side Eru, because of the thing he has said to me that I stated before. "She said you were on the list, but she was too hurt. I encouraged her to make a pinned post about it, I dind't I accidentally made you rivals without both wanting to. I apologize if I stayed quiet and neutral even while interacting with both and not saying anything to you(me) until shit hit the fan and people already had a bad view of you. blabla bla more lies to save his ass with Eru, Dan and company. Those users now are happily supporting him when he talked shit about them to me, addressing, I repeat, as simple ppl he would spend some time with but that weren't important for him the slightest. Since he did created via manipulation my paranoia towards Dan, I've noticed how gentle and caring he was with him.

- So it confused me how people this person would often accept compliments and care, meant absolutely nothing to him, and the all of a sudden after the callout, besties forever or smth. It made me think: did he lie on not talking to them much, too? Because Dan wouldn't say 'I like you man' (as I previously translated 'I love you'-'Te quiero', which here is a very strong word we don't say unless you're in a relationship, so again I apologize for having thought of an affair or smth like with everyone he would talk more thanks to already explained paranoia) when he just talked to them rarely, just to pass time or Rp - or what he would invent, idk anymore - or rarely simply stay in touch, while having no interest in vague friendship towards Dan and the others at all as state? He literally said: everyday I talk only with you. The others are just a background I use to RP my favs, but I don't care about them at all. And then again...this contraddiction? Or maybe I simply didn't understand their interactions because of the person often not talking, twisting words, make me go against people and then fake to having done nothing, talk behind my back etc.

- He knew as said i have CPTSD and DPD. I was the perfect victim to destroy. And he succeeded. By leaking all my Infos and private life, accounts and even twitch where I was starting to create a second job. I was TIRED of e-begging and I Often talked to him about it. he comforted me by saying I was trying to survive ; between my delusions (me talking to myself on twitter to live and move away from where I am now, everything was destroyed. I have everything that demonstrates I wasn't lucid enough, during my dropout, to understand things decently, but i also have proof that my entire story told is real. I've got no written proof from that user. He was merciless and precise as he knew I don't screenshot. i suppose I was too noisy and clingy for him after summer fap party, as he often stated despite his first months of "crushing so hard on you it's hard to let you go, I wake up thinking of you, I'm at school thinking of you, I return thinking of you", and found a way to get his revenge over my rage towards my realization of his behavior. He stated later he tried to be more present because I was asking for too much. I didn't want the same attention you can give during summer break, obvs. But from lovey dovey I talk to you day and night, to bye I'll talk to you in one week while almost NEVER initiate conversations, it's normal even for a person without DPD to get offended and try to talk about it. All I got was always "I'm like this get over it" and "I'm a terrible person, forgive me". Idk man, sus.

- That said, I was cancelled and harassed to this day for being mentally ill. The me being a fraud bullshit came a bit later, despite my clear instability seen on those screens, and now official documents from my therapist in case he sues. i have no way to prove anything as stated, if not by providing online my clinical record, medications, therapists documents, disability papers, and all that. I owe those people nothing, and i won't expose more than it was already posted without my legal permission. I hope something like this never happens to someone close to me.

- Using mental illness as excuse isn't right. But forgetting about it isn't right either. Its like holding accountable a schizophrenic person who has on papers that during his attacks, they're unable to understand and will act in potentially harming ways. And they get kicked and harassed once they're back into their skulls instead of being led to a damn hospital or let them call for help. That user's callout even mentioned as a CW "mental illness n rage issues" along side other things i forgot. Knowing my condition, he used what symptoms were convenient for him to expose to destroy me. He did. My therapist wants to sue him, I don't.

- I think for me that person is also ableist - like EVERYONE supporting him who also happen to call themselves proshippers and anti harrassment - and no longer human in his heart. someone stole it from him, or he was born cruel. I don't want to remember him anymore and I will block anyone who cares for him and believes him without giving me a chance to talk. snitches and people i don't know will get shit. I'm Not a serial impersonator, nor a moneygrabber, I've never impersonated someone before and I've never invented stories to grab cash and I dunno, buy a ferrari. And I thank everyone who helped me economically and mentally.

- I used a business PayPal account not to "conceal my identity that was becoming sus" but because of ants that I had on my ass, privacy reasons - my private paypal was used by my brother, I won't elaborate publicly - It's because I have dysphoria. I hate my name and femininity now more than ever. My brother and that person used it against me. Again, like when I was a kid growing up as a cute doll to use. I know everyone's @ but as said i don't like callouts more now than before. That's it. Since even my fandoms were exposed to gatekeep me, I'll stick to what I can have. People can block me and I will do the same, minding my damn business like you all should've. Law isn't in your hands. PSA's are done with more than one person's screens, no matter how incriminating they might be, You Gotta listen to the other side to understand the entire situation. I'm sorry for people like Giddy, Eru, Dan and many others who got MEGA baited like me, but if you wanna remain in your blissful ignorance, so be it. Just know that before me and the person's last argue, you guys to him 'valued nothing but rp partners, they're not even friends and I don't talk to them if not rarely sometimes during the month'. If that isn't true, I'm sorry for y'all. If it's true, enjoy your time together as harrassers.

- I won't address this shit anymore. But I will leave it here since I know how fucked up badly made callouts are, and what kind of people attracts.