- stare at every white century buick
- marvel at the fact that me teaching at that health class, joslyn having a show at the omni, that all the girls in your family were named starting with the letter A, that those were all coincidence
- know about banksy
- think about flying down hills during fast music
- bitterly undo my bike chain with the preselected combination "prom'
- think about that stormdrain that we broke into and spraypainted, constantly. its so weird to think that somewhere, ten feet below everything else, is a little time capsule back to when i truly believed i would have a husband, you, that we would work out, that alexis+seth actually meant something. its unbelievable. i feel like i would drive back there now, crawl down there now, and it wouldn't be there, how could it be, when you still hate me?
- ** as i make this list, i have this crazy realization- he didn't really change who i was, or add a ton of new interests to my life. really, i just loved who i was with him. they are all things within me, then, not within him. and they are all things that i can reclaim. so pushing wishes of fate and the happy nervousness he gave me aside, maybe i need to look at what i loved about myself. after all, its not like he spent all that much time with me.
sep 8 2011 ∞
feb 3 2012 +