So I very clearly love my job at Forest Lake Park, and upon learning that next summer my best friend at work (Miss G) is in line to be the sole director of camp because Mr. Myles claims he's not coming back, I want nothing more than to work next summer following graduation because 1. Cris is supposed to finally be done with school and supposed to have moved to Atlanta by then, so I won't have to deal with his cranky/sometimes slack attitude. 2. Miss G would let me speak and actually listen to me when I have a point instead of telling me to be quiet like Mr. Myles always does when I try to argue with him even a little bit. Plus she generally always has my back in work situations because she's noticed how a lot of the staff treat me (like my opinion doesn't matter), so she tends to be one of about 3 people who truly listen to my point of view. Anyway because of all these reasons, I do not want to apply to grad school programs which start in the summer of 2010 because I just really want to work at least one more summer. Granted there are some programs that start in the fall, but what with Lizzy applying to law school and with me trying to go where she goes, I feel like it'll be easier to apply in a year when she gets in somewhere. There's no guarantee that this would be effective either, but as it is, I'm really confused by trying to apply to places based on where we hypothetically think we would both get in, and I just continue to feel like I should just wait, even if that means I won't get to start school as soon as I would want to. I feel like making school decisions based off of my summer job (albeit a job that I love which makes me very happy) is an interesting thing to do, so here's a list of thoughts I've had recently about my love for the park.

• When at the beach, I couldn't wait to get back to work, partially because I missed the staff and Miss G kept sending me texts about wishing I was there and how I'd missed playing Phase 10, but also because hanging out with the children makes me happier than the supposed relaxation of being on vacation. I really love having something to do, especially something active. I spent so much of my vacation feeling restless; it was almost like I wanted to go out and take a run or something even though I really don't like running.
• I'm very obsessed with going to the pool and having awesome conversations in the deep end of the pool since there are so many children who can't swim. The times I've spent in the pool are like my favorite times of the whole summer; this is probably directly related to the fact that Miss G started coming with my group and so she always got in the pool with me, and we just always have really awesome conversations. I've never really figured out why our conversations are better than those I have with other people with whom I work, but the point is, the pool rocks because of this; it's like practically my favorite of the field trips.
• I also love being outside on the playground and walking around the playground whereas most people seem to get bored because they're always sitting and refuse to get up to take any children back inside for water/bathroom needs. I like being outside in the fresh air, and while I do appreciate how they seem to behave better outside, it's not like I want to not have to deal with them; I enjoy playing with them in a way; I got a lot better at the monkey bars after a few weeks of practice.
• I genuinely enjoy talking to the campers; it's not like I just humor them or am just talking to them to pass the time. While it's true that some in my group just wanted to talk about food or other mundane subjects, I really do like understanding the perspective of some of the kids, especially those who are like 10-12 years old.
• Even when the children are not listening and are generally having issues, they can be so funny, and while I know I'm not supposed to find being bad cute, some, like Issy who's Miss G's niece and 5 years old, are too cute even when mad for me to really get that angry with them.
• I love to play games with kids, especially Knockout, and I can't imagine my camp life without this ultra-competitive shooting game which is responsible for some of my blows to the head/mouth this summer.
• I love the opportunity to play Phase 10 with my work people (Miss G, Mrs. Amber, Mrs. Michelle), and while technically I've played with them outside of work before and enjoyed it immensely, there's something really fun about being able to play while simultaneously watching the children. Unfortunately, on Monday when we were playing, Mr. Myles said something that made all of us feel bad because he basically implied we weren't really watching the kids, and so we stopped early, somewhat pissing me off because I had gotten up a few times to go deal with some of my group who were fighting over crayons/paper, so I felt like I was multitasking well.
• Even though I feel like those on the staff who have not gotten to know me well don't realize what work I do, I feel like I genuinely do a good job, and the children respond positively to me/the majority of the children seem to love me. So even if some of the staff seem to still be treating me like I'm this annoying white girl who they don't want to get to know beyond their preconceived notions of me, I still feel appreciated by the children with whom it's my job to interact/Mr. Myles was really nice on the last day of camp and said how much he appreciated the work I'd done this summer, so thankfully someone important besides Miss G also noticed how hard I was trying.
• I really love doing everything I can to help out including cleaning up/mopping/counting money, and I've never had that feeling about another job; I don't get excited about doing a jazz setup for my work study job as a house manager, but I genuinely like mopping the floor and trying to be thorough when at the park.
• I've heard from some of the children that they appreciate the advice/words of encouragement I've given them, so it makes me feel good to know I've made a difference in their appreciation for camp and in possibly helping them in their lives. I love feeling like I've influenced someone positively because I have often worried that I just talk to people but don't say anything to really change anyone's outlook, so getting some reassurance that this is not the case is always good.