- Paris Hilton's Incredible Strong Eye! No fringe can hide it, No album can distract from it! Lo, it is Strong! All hail the eye!
- Kelly Clarkson's Strong Arms! And people complain about the way she dresses? Have a heart... Did you ever see a dinosaur wearing good trousers? No! They too had odd little arms incapable of reaching down to fasten complex mechanisms such as buttons. Pity Kelly, don't mock her. She may have Velociraptor appendages but I bet you've sung 'Since You've Been Gone' in your bedroom... So ask yourself, who's the real winner here? Me? Or the dinosaurs?!
- Jesus' Toes! I mean, seriously... Flip Flops? When you're trying to outrun the Romans? I mean, you think someone might've told him. It's not like he wasn't connected.
- Britney Spears' Hideous Growth! Or Kevin, as I believe some people call him.
- Victoria Beckham's VIle Nose! What is it?! This wretched sliver of unwanted flesh that hangs, ridiculous in its perkiness, from her dour face? Is it a reciever of some sort? Does she truffle with it? What? What is it?! You're rich woman... Fix it.
- Jessica Simpson's Dead Eyes! Those lifeless holes where her soul used to be before Bam stole it (allegedly)... The ones that make you a bit uncomfortable when they latch onto you from the screen and try to suck your essence from your body through some strange Banished Christian Hoodoo as she onnce di to Knoxville (allegedly)... Yeah Jessica... I noticed. Don't think the breats distracted me. I know when a Christian's after my soul.
sep 16 2006 ∞
sep 16 2006 +
sep 16 2006 +