listography: Joe Gorey

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Paris Hilton's Incredible Strong Eye! No fringe can hide it, No album can distract from it! Lo, it is Strong! All hail the eye!
Kelly Clarkson's Strong Arms! And people complain about the way she dresses? Have a heart... Did you ever see a dinosaur wearing good trousers? No! They too had odd little arms incapable of reaching down to fasten complex mechanisms such as buttons. Pity Kelly, don't mock her. She may have Velociraptor appendages but I bet you've sung 'Since You've Been Gone' in your bedroom... So ask yourself, who's the real winner here? Me? Or the dinosaurs?!
Jesus' Toes! I mean, seriously... Flip Flops? When you're trying to outrun the Romans? I mean, you think someone might've told him. It's not like he wasn't connected.
Britney Spears' Hideous Growth! Or Kevin,...

sep 16 2006 ∞
sep 16 2006 +

21 Grams: Mmm... Very worthy. Yes, yes... Wonderful cast... Naomi does what? What, right out? Both of them...? For the good of the story you say? And Penn does what? Looks rumpled? AND worthy?! For the love of all that is Holy... This sounds amazing... What? Boring as Old Woman's Arse you say? Oh...
The Lord Of The Rings (Pick Any Of Them): They do what..? Walk around a bit? Argue about whether Gollum is good or bad? Hit some extras from Buffy with swords? And that's it..? Jesus man, you just saved me, like, THIRTEEN hours of my life! Now I can do something worthwhile... Like Myspace!
King Kong: They did what? Took a perfectly good film that was about an hour long and made it into Lord Of The Rings?! With Brody?! AND WATTS?! And she doesn't even get them out?! And there are still extras...

sep 16 2006 ∞
sep 16 2006 +