• The last time I wrote on here was July 21, and boy a whole hell of a lot has happened. How about I break it down by comparing for 2009-2010 to-do list from last year with what really happened.
• August - started school and was doing awesome in just about all of my classes. And then, I sank. Overwhelmed, yes. Worried, yes. Insecure, yes. Getting more abrasive yes. Piano was what it always is. Shilpi, you're a huge disappointment and there is no way you could go to music school. Awesome. Haven't painted or sketched since last summer. I'm terrified and I have no idea why. I've been in solitude alright, but it wasn't my doing.
• September- Mom's birthday & present, turned out to be lame. hadn't studied for SAT, governor's school was the farthest thing from my mind. didn't apply for internship, have done any volunteering the whole year.
• October- Worked my ass off, but it didn't amount to anything; my grades are still mediocre. Didn't try out for the play.
• November- Didn't get sis's present until the day before she came home for break. Oh and yeah I still hadn't studied for SAT's and I was taking them Dec. 5
• December- took the SAT, didn't do as well as I would've liked to. Can get into decent colleges but nothing better than that. I turned sixteen and my spirit is almost completely broken. I just don't feel special anymore. Or maybe it's that things are changing so fast that I can't keep up with it. I no longer can act immature and now I need to make something of myself. Overwhelmed already in 2010. Sis didn't go to India, Dad didn't really spend any time with us, and mom didn't have a huge party and instead something at the temple. I'm not going to even bring up exams.
• HERE IS WHERE I START OVER:
• January- don't fuck anything up. keep up with school, start studying for SAT, ACT, and AP's. Get research job. Get license.
• February- Try harder not to fuck anything up.
• March- no spring break, just have some solitude and r&r time.
• April-AP's and that's it.
• MAY- where the rubber meets the road, people.
• June- take SAT & SAT Subject Tests & afterwards, go ape shit.
• June-August, hopefully I get that research job, prolly won't though.
• August- begin senior year & plan the rest of your life.

Oh and as far as friends: Do a better job in not letting influences ruin relationships. Also evaluate your friendships, you may think that your friends will stick with you until the end but most of the time, they don't. But of course, there are the exceptions, and that is when you count your blessings, get outta bed, open the blinds, and have fun.