• (101024) i worry that my friends may not be here forever, im not easy to stick with. and that's not in that "boo hoo oh sad me" way. i lost a lot of my friends after getting custody of my niece. i lost strands of friends when i got into my recent relationship. i only seem to be of value when i am able to give my whole self to another person because THEY want it, not because i want to give it to them.

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• (110724) i think i may have lost an almost 4-year friendship because i didnt click romantically with a mutual friend. i hope i didnt, but it feels like i did. we shall see, i suppose

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• (010425) im losing my friends and i dont know how to fix it. im so lost in a grief that they do not think i should feel that i cannot find them in the evergrowing darkness. i cant lose them, but it's hard to reach them when i do not know where to look.