• (101024) i worry that my friends may not be here forever, im not easy to stick with. and that's not in that "boo hoo oh sad me" way. i lost a lot of my friends after getting custody of my niece. i lost strands of friends when i got into my recent relationship. i only seem to be of value when i am able to give my whole self to another person because THEY want it, not because i want to give it to them.

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• (110724) i think i may have lost an almost 4-year friendship because i didnt click romantically with a mutual friend. i hope i didnt, but it feels like i did. we shall see, i suppose

• i'll be fine - megan moroney
• cast the bronze - raynes
• golden child - meghan patrick
• the one who gets to cry - chrissy chlapecka
• kaleidoscope - chappell roan
• letters part two - any two words
• almost home - mxmtoon

• (101024) i'm still trying to get it all down, it's a sickly sweet feeling knowing that you're as lost as i am but it stings to know im hurting you. how exactly am i supposed to live with myself knowing that i have made you scared and upset? how do people do this so often; how did you treat me like this without feeling horrible?? but trying to hold you up like this is killing me. i love you, im sorry, i dont know what else i can do

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• (101124) i hate this feeling, it's like filling my heart with sand. god, i love you so much. it hurts how much i love you. i know you dont really care about me unless im getting you off, i know you'd rather me take over everything for you. i still love you, and i always will

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