• They are purple
• Blackberries are generally not pompous
• When you eat them they don't taste like chicken
• When you eat them it doesn't make you a cannibal
• Blackberries can be made into jame without a blender
• Blackberries can be squished without feelings of remorse
• Blackberries don't make you pay taxes
• Blackberries are not as insane as Jenny
• Its not creepy when blackberries prickle you
• Blackberries don't have names or birthdays to forget
• Blackberries aren't racist... or are they?? I bet they would if there were white berries.
• Blackberries ALWAYS smeel good.... unless they've started rotting.
• Blackberries aren't judgemental
• Blackberries don't mock me for things I didn't do. Or things I did do.
• Blackberries just can't be mean
• Blackberries are paradoxical. Because mean is the new black. And they're not called meanberries, are they?
• Blackberries don't care if I end on a random number.

This is me as a blackberry. The last blackberry. I committed Fruiticide.