i've begun to question my own intelligence

lack of ideas, writing, passions

lack of

• self

(inner self) i don't know where i am anymore

• hips
• and long corridors

i need to develop an inside. is it possible that i have become both so physically and psychologically destroyed that i no longer have an identity at all? i want to change my name, dye my hair. i don't know what i want to wear or where i want to be in six years.

i am hollow. above all, i am stupid. it's not even false intelligence like everybody i know (thanks, i know how to use a thesaurus too), i am just so fucking stupid. perhaps people believe i am hiding intelligence under all the layers of self doubt and destruction. i suppose i have gone my whole life agreeing, thinking the same, thinking that one day i'll surprise somebody.

i am rotten to the core.