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Jen. Twenty-something physicist and science communicator.

Interests include, but are not limited to, conspiracy theories, animals and cryptography.

listography TERMS
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  • That one character in the film/TV show who can inexplicably hack into any computer network. Like that stupid girl child from Jurassic Park! I mean, really?! The 1990s gave us many great things but by far the worst is this concept that anybody can just type frantically on their desktop computer and somehow gain access to the CIA's most classified files.
  • Wrong way round toilet paper. It's got to be over. If it's not, I'll change it.
  • Grown men who use emoticons. Especially emoticons with noses. Where is the need for that?!
  • Child geniuses like Kim Ung-yong was. What I feel is partly annoyance and partly a crushing devastation which makes me physically sick upon realising that, in comparison, I'm about 8000 years behind in evolution. The wee bastard.
  • Audiophiles. If the music is good then it will sound good no matter how crappy the audio quality is. Pretentious gits.
  • People who volunteer in 3rd world countries. Take the money you've spent on flights, insurance, immunisations and gear and mail it to the people instead. These are some of the most overpopulated countries in the world, they do NOT need your help to build schools. They need your money. Try volunteering in your own country; that's where you're needed the most.
  • The word "ace". Not even kidding, I was in my early teens when I stopped using that word outside of a tennis/playing cards/pet detective context.
  • Juno. It's one of those try-too-hard-to-be-hipster films that I so strongly despair over. What makes this film worse is that not one of the characters seems real and none of them are even likeable. They're all try-too-hard-to-be-quirky-and-down-with-the-kids. Sort of like that teacher that everyone had at high school who was just trying too hard to be cool it just ended up being kind of awkward.
  • When Office have sold out of size 5 shoes. I hate my silly commonly sized feet.
  • Radio 1 - insipid, inane and idiotic. Pretty much sums up the nation.
  • These 13 year old children whining about how awesome Queen were and how much they want to live in the seventies and "modern music sucks" is what they assert. They have this scary nostalgia for a time before they were even born. How is that even possible? But until the end of time people will look back with rose-tinted glasses and moan about the state of music today. It will ALWAYS happen. In 2030 children will be complaining (to their android as it cleans their bedroom) that they wish they could have been alive 20 years ago to witness the majesty of Ne-Yo. Yes, I swear this will happen.
  • Incorrect pronunciation of foreign words. Also, when I hear people say that they had a panini for lunch. Surely you mean a panino?
  • The fact that Police are corrupt. I've seen this first hand many times and it's just not right.
  • In bathrooms where the hand-towel is higher than elbow level. This means that drips will run down my sleeve.
  • Bad grammar.
  • Teenagers. Even when I technically was also a teenager.
  • When people say they have OCD. I really don't like that. I am a neat and tidy person who likes things to be organised but that doesn't mean I have OCD. It means I am a neat and tidy person who likes things to be organised...It just annoys me that people don't understand this disorder properly.
  • Actually I can't stand people self-diagnosing mental illnesses full-stop. You don't have depression, you're just lazy and suffer from a lack of concentration.
  • When lecturers admit that they don't really know what they're talking about. This is the point where I consider leaving University all together. If the people who are predicted to win a Nobel prize for this subject don't understand it then how in the hell am I meant to?!
  • Ignorance about geography outwith ones own country.
  • When people don't hold the door for me despite the fact that I'm right behind them.
  • When people do hold the door for me despite the fact that I'm about three miles behind them thus forcing me to run to relieve them faster.
  • Taxi drivers who try to start conversations. If I was in the mood then I'd have said something. Same goes for hairdressers.
  • Complaints to Offcom. Especially days after the incident aired and they mention it in the Daily Mail...
  • Karen Carpenter. Her voice makes me want to burn my ears off! [But, you know, rest in peace...]
  • When I've bought something in a shop and the sales assistant gives me the receipt and the notes change in my palm and then plants the coins change on top of this. What do I do? How do they expect me to handle this situation? When I've got coins sliding around in my hand and there's a queue building behind me what do I do? I just shove everything into a pocket and sort it out later. Hardcore shoppers require full co-operation to get our job done quickly and efficiently. Curses on those sales assistants. Curses.
  • Tourists I find abroad who make no effort whatsoever to speak the language.
  • Women who visit Islamic countries and show too much skin in serious disrespect. I've seen this in the Middle East and all across Northern Africa.
  • The Kate Kennedy Club - I can't even explain it, I can't believe this thing is allowed to exist actually.
  • Milk leaking in the fridge, it gets on everything and then starts curdling and the whole fridge stinks and everything needs to get thrown out.
  • Split-ends.
  • "Photographers" who are actually just hipsters with cameras.
  • Music snobs. But more so the fact that people think I might actually be one.
  • Really loud people who are obviously making overly obnoxious statements to try to get a reaction out of anyone who might be listening in.
  • Pro-life campaigners. Especially the ones who have never been pregnant. It's just a classic example of backwards, conservative thinking.
  • Feminism. I went to a debate about this and all I learned was the most feminists don't actually understand the basic ideas that they say they believe in. They also seem to overlook scientific fact and pick on the most obscure of cultural details. What does this gain anyway?
  • The concept of a "British Accent". This doesn't exist.
  • People who say they like "The Catcher in the Rye", "Go Ask Alice", "The Perks of Being a Wallflower" etc because they think it's cool. Attention: It's not. It's really pathetic.
  • The Christian Union always trying to get me to join them. I am not Christian, I've told them, they say it doesn't matter...
  • The language they speak north of Aberdeen. I can't stand it.
  • DJs saying they've "discovered" bands. Especially Jo Whiley. The only thing she's ever discovered is her own anus and she's stayed up there ever since. The sign of a true music fan is if you don't listen to a word she says.
  • Hallowe'en. What was once a quaint Celtic tradition has now become this overblown commercialist institution on the other side of the world.
  • The confusion between "many" and "much", "less" and "fewer" etc.
  • When I'm driving at night and I'm going up a hill and another car is approaching the hill from the other side. I always dip my headlights before he comes into sight but for SOME reason, the other guy will wait until he's come over the hill and partially blind me before dipping his stupid headlights. Ahhh!!
  • Reality TV. Is it just me or is this NOT a good representation of reality?
  • The type of people who shop at Topshop. Yep, I'm putting them all into one box and labelling it. They are awful, awful people. They probably, also, watch Skins. Yeah, I went there.
  • Skins. So seriously shit I cannot believe so many people watch it. There is absolutely nothing real in it at all.
  • Congestion.
  • Those who rave about having a "Gay Best Friend". I can see the practical advantages but someone's sexuality should not determine how you value them, whichever way the bias swings.
  • Fat people who can't dress for their shape. Short skirts and knee high boots is only a good look if you're 6ft and 8st.
  • Arguments in the comments section of youtube videos. I am ashamed to admit to living on the same planet as these morons.
  • Following on from the above point, those kids who post comments on youtube along the lines of "you say you hate this video but yet you bothered to search youtube for it and then watch it". Is it at all possible that the haters were curious and watched the video because they'd never seen it before and then used the comment section to voice their opinion? Where does it say that the comments section is for nice comments only?
  • Blisters.
  • When someone sees me coming out of a cubicle in a public toilet and still goes to use it even if there are many other cubicles free which have not JUST been used...I find that a little creepy if I'm being honest.
  • Church of Scotland funerals. I've attended a lot of funerals [for a person of my age anyway] and most of these have been CoS. The reason I dislike these is purely for the part of the service where the minister will plug the church. He says something along the lines of "...and if anyone would like to learn more about life after death or seek comfort then we'll be more than happy for you to come to our sunday services..." It just seems pretty inappropriate to me.
  • American accents. And especially the fact that I sort of have one.
  • American English. And especially the fact that I'm beginning to use it inadvertantly. [I've started saying "math" instead of "maths"!!]
  • Putting the milk in before the teabag. Who would do this? It's never right! With coffee the milk needs to go in first however, this is important.
oct 21 2008 ∞
apr 25 2014 +