I like to believe I'm a regular human being. I sleep 1/3 of the day, I have bad breath in the morning, I have a fear of moths...

But, for some reason, there are a number of people who appear to view me as nothing short of a demi god.

• Alex| He's a good friend who laughs at every thing I say. And not just normal laughing, I'm talking about rolling on the floor crying with laughter. He thinks I'm hilarious and will tell anyone who listens that I'm the funniest person in the world.
• James| He thinks I'm the most attractive woman ever to have existed. His words, not mine. I overheard him saying "There's beautiful and then there's Jen..."
• Jennifer jr.| A girl three years below me at High School who called herself Jennifer jr and copied everything I did.
• Stu| He just thinks I'm a legend in general. He was one of my flatmate's good friends but whenever he came round he always came to see me first. He also wouldn't come to one of her parties unless I was there. For some reason he believes I am just the coolest motherf-er.