• Me: Oh my gosh that's Sean!
• Louise: Which one?!
• Me: The short, fat one with glasses standing awkwardly in the corner!
• Louise: ...yeah, that pretty much describes every guy in St Andrews...

~~~

• Carrie: I think you should do something mean to him...like get him naked and steal his clothes but obviously not in his room or else it wouldn't work.

~~~

• (boarding a flight from Edinburgh to Stockholm)
• Kit: Which way do you think we will go? East or west?
• Louise: Well, it'd be a pretty long fucking flight if we went west, wouldn't it.

~~~

• Carrie: I need to get a nailgun at Argos to fix my bed.
• Me: We have a hammer, why don't you just get some nails?
• Carrie: How do you make the holes to put the nails in?

~~~

• Louise: Lagrangian - poo - Lagrangian - eat - Lagrangian - eat - Lagrangian - sleep. This is my life.

~~~

• Kit: I texted him saying I was shitting my pants.
• Me: Callum's just gone from 12 to 6.
• Kit: No! He was present the night of the brown boke and he still stayed!
• Me: The night of the what-now?
• Carrie: The night it looked like Kit had pooed out of her mouth.

~~~

• Me (eating a chocolate bar): You can have some of my Aero!
• Kit: I think I've stolen enough of your oxygen already...