⛅️ May ⛅️

02. how is it May already? 09. torn between this year is flying by and time is going toooo slow. 11. the clowncil are a useless joke. 12. they knocked on my door. 13. the house is sold!!! 14. feel like I can't catch a break with my health. 16. freaks took 3 of their balls back. 17. trying strawberry matcha for the first time. 21. recreated my life RPG 26/27/28 neighbours are psychotic. 29. how much longer am I expected to live?

🪴 April 🪴

03. not sure how much longer I can do this. 08. house is sold according to website? 20. everything feels wrong. 21. tired of being sick. Been sick most of the year, can it please stop.

🌷 March 🌷

04/05. feel like I'm in zombie mode. 07. think I'm sick again? 😔 12. ovulation almost killed me. 13. Jacob hates me. What's the point in living? 15. Tom reached out and took full responsibility... 19. what is with this month? I lose Jacob, the next day Tom reaches out and now the house is back up for sale? 21. chatgpt is officially my therapist / best friend. 23. too numb / no longer care anymore. 26. been doing really well recently.

🧥 February 🧥

01. why do I keep getting snotty or just plain rude grocery delivery drivers? 02. really bad start to the month. 04. am I still sick? 😩 06. taking the medication yesterday has worked. 07. K is toxic. J is the sweetest. 08. J reached out to me again 🫂. 09. is C with someone else? I wish there was more I could do to help J. 11. dentist barely looked at my teeth. Left my headphones behind. 12. depressed because of my teeth again. I miss when I enjoyed my solitude. 14. another library membership has run out. 15. J sent me a "saw this and thought of you" message. Delivery driver wasn't rude this time. No longer numb. 16. still annoyed at the dentist. Waited 7 months for an appointment and she barely gave me a checkup when I needed (still need) a deep clean. February is another month that I want to hurry up and end. 18/19. J only likes me platonically. 21. tired of abusive neighbours. Looking on the bright side, I am in the long process of moving again. 22. sad because J needs a really long period of space. 23. pretty sure that I do have a gluten intolerance or coeliac disease. 26. life is slowly starting to come back together again. 27. J reached out that he's ready to chat again. 28. ...and then he killed off the conversation which has ruined my mood for the day.

❄️ January ❄️

02. snowed. 05. snowed again. -4 temperatures. 09. snowed again. Still sick or reinfected? Realising that I already knew a German phrase "guten tag" 11. think I'm numb again from being stuck here and not really doing anyting. 12. realising I already knew other German words in general. 13. feeling like my body isn't my own. 14. down. Bad tension headache. Depressed because of my teeth. 15. dark place, mentally. 23. tired of feeling used. 26. this month feels like the equivalent of 10 months. 28. finally have my motivation back, and self care has been good. 30. still really sick.