Soon i like this edit: right now alittle

• (1/17/25) i scared jason on accident because i kept walking too quietly behind him and it was funny the first time but i tried to be very obvious that i was walking over the second time and i still somehow scared him

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• (1/12/25) hanging out with friend cameron it was really fun i liked walking around and just talking and laughing i didnt expect to be so excited i think im just manic but thats fine he was really fun to talk to and spend time with

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• (1/10/25) jeremiah put a 'miss' infront of my name when talking to me and that surprised me im not used to being respected also im not a miss but that doesnt really matter i look like a woman so its fine im not outing myself

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• (1/8/25) isiah talked to me, like a person for one and i didnt expect that, he is very childish though but hes also 19 i think, or 18.. something like that he still very much talks like a child with a big ego but im just surprised that he talked to me like a person

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• (1/7/25) miss angela was upset that we discussed how i cant work from 1-8 because i need to take care of my disabled mother and she did the whole rub face of stress and im more surprised my trauma response of 'do you want me to be hurt as a way to apologize' almost left my mouth thats not very swagger of me and im kind of upset she triggered that response and i almost said that shout out to childhood trauma hunting me down to this day

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• (1/6/25) jessica called my hair pretty and she offered to help me if i needed it and infact went out of her way to help me even though she didnt need too

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• (1/6/25) kathy told me she appreciates my time and that shes thrilled to work with me and that means alot from a shift lead, i didnt expect her to be happy with me and that felt nice i dont expect her to like me

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• (1/6/25) EVERY UP MUST HAVE A DOWN angela my manager changed my schedule, which is normal and typical of course, but then also didnt talk to me about any of the changes and left right after before i could talk to her, the only 'discussion' we had was her being stressed and rubbing her face after she told me 'you told me you were always available' and it for some reason unlocked a trauma response from me which i forgot i could have, and also i didnt say that because thats lying, and i DONT lie because it makes me FEEL BAD and now im going to work eight days in a row

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• (1/5/25)isiah was complaining to me about how he doesnt like doing the truck because he doesnt understand it and he has to do all the hard work and because women take him he addresses them as 'females' when hes upset and i think ints an interesting incel take to decide that when women make you mad you dehumanize them

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• (1/5/25) Connor reassured me that I'm a good friend and I don't know how or why but that made me not want to kill myself so that's a win that impressed me also I may get 30 dollars worth of donuts over time

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• (12/24/24) jeremiah called me nice and that also surprised me when im acknowledged

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• (12/24/24) daisy from work made a little gift bag for me and made a little 'for you' thing on it and its all cute,,

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• (12/24/24) work at christmas day was so nice, beth madi and sandy all made little christmas hot coco and gave it to everyone and i dont have the heart to make mine because its so cute and no ones ever celebrated christmas with me since i was like.. fuck maybe 13?

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• (12/23/24) never done on one calls alone almost at all and I jumped the gun in being excited when Zac asked to have one with me and I went 'oh shit wait' as I jumped off the cliff and I thought I would've made it awkward but he seemed pleased with my existence even when I wasnt masking that hard I need to do this with Keira next

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• (12/23/24) I'm not used to being away from close friends of any period and then I got churches time very briefly and I'm like 'wow my friends still enjoy me though new job hell' AND THAT MAKES ME HAPPY I'm glad nothing's changed

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• (12/19/24) wow i hate my job im achey oh but laura is still being nice to me so thats nice and connor worked with me on hotbar :D i miss my friends maybe i am being normal now, oh i hope so,, anyhow i have another person interested in me and im surprised that i guess i look hot in a hairnet thats like three people now and i love being poly i love thinking about charming people kissing me

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• (12/18/24) Okay i have an older woman coworker named Laura and i think she hates me but she actually teased me today and i dont think she was being mean about it i think she was trying to relate to me except she wants me to be relatable in the sense that im just a younger version of her! oh boy i hope this doesnt become something parasocial please be normal to me miss Laura i would love to be a coworker friend