Max 11/30/12 in a Facebook chat after meeting Chris Colfer

gurl you have a problem

you need to see a doctor about it

"What's wrong with you?" "I've been orgasming non-stop since touching Chris Colfer"

[10:20:26 PM] Pauline: Last Friday - Jeff and I's Valentine's Day - we had anal

[10:20:40 PM] Pauline: and omg, this is where shit gets real

[10:20:56 PM] Maximilian!: ...

[10:21:05 PM] Maximilian!: The words anal sex and shit shouldn't be going together

(12:11:27 AM) Maximilian Pegasus: My dick will be a lance and it will pierce green's virginity with unrestrained anger so hard that it will shit red for weeks

(12:11:58 AM) Maximilian Pegasus: People will reach into their wallets and pull out red money

(12:12:03 AM) Maximilian Pegasus: The word green will never exist

(12:12:09 AM) Maximilian Pegasus: It will be afraid to ever be uttered again

(12:12:12 AM) Maximilian Pegasus: for the fear

(12:12:14 AM) Me: Because you fucked it so hard?

(12:12:14 AM) Maximilian Pegasus: of my dick

[9:40:59 PM] (Sexy) Jeff!: Sorry

[9:41:01 PM] (Sexy) Jeff!: I had to feed my neopet

[9:41:04 PM] (Sexy) Jeff!: And it took forever to figure that out

(4:49:30 PM) aznmagus691: i was gonna type something but then i farted and i forgot

(11:41:06 PM) toddarod: I farted on a tissue and then unthinking put it to my nose

(11:41:15 PM) toddarod: I was surprised

(9:20:24 PM) Mama: you cock blocked me from having meat?????

(9:20:44 PM) Me: That's one way of looking at it, yeah

(9:21:14 PM) Mama: You're such a bitch, bitch

(9:21:34 PM) Me: so nice to your daughter.

(10:00:34 PM) jedimaster263: So, Pauline. Ready for some...

(10:00:39 PM) jedimaster263: BUTTHOLE MADNESS?!?!

[9:02:52 PM] Jeff!: I'm the Divinely Powerful One

[9:02:52 PM] Jeff!: Because I fuck heretical bitches up

[9:02:59 PM] Jeff!: Watch out you unpious assholes

[9:03:07 PM] Jeff!: I'll waterboard you with the ballsweat of Jesus

(9:20:44 PM) jedimaster263: Jeffrick is Eternally Powerful Ruler.

(10:18:21 PM) whatshorts: Well Erick has the best comebacks

(10:18:48 PM) shadowyp51: he never cums on peoples backs

[3:27:52 PM] Adam!: Well hey, that's Adam, reinforcing people's thoughts, one person at a time.

(15:33:23) aznmagus691: ITS NOT EVEN CALI > CONNECTICUT ITS LOS ANGELES > CONNECTICUT

(20:55:52) whatshorts: [Auto-Response] Hate feeling emo :\

(20:56:55) mrn3gativez3r0: ..so much that you'll cut yourself?

(20:57:01) mrn3gativez3r0: IT'S A PARADOX

(19:31:51) whatshorts: I'm sorry to tell you this

(19:31:53) whatshorts: but I live a double life

(19:31:56) whatshorts: I'm really...

(19:31:57) whatshorts: a WOMAN

(19:32:10) toddarod: i figured

(19:32:19) toddarod: the tiny penis and freakishly shaped balls

(19:32:24) toddarod: really did look like a vagina

(9:59:39 AM) Me: I'm at work

(9:59:42 AM) Me: so I'm kinda close to youuu

(9:59:55 AM) Nick: what do you mean you're at work and you're close to me

(9:59:58 AM) Nick: when it comes to me and you

(10:00:05 AM) Nick: there is no distance in love