i am cold and lonely and lost

too young and too old

i don't understand anything fully

too often overcome by sadness and bad bad feelings

• in my head and the depths of my stomach and bones and blood

fragile not fragile not

i want to be a fairy or a butterfly or a flower or a grey and white feather

• floating light sweet innocence

i will never be innocent again, i have given it away too quickly and for the wrong reasons to whom may be the wrong person

sexual disgusting shallow

i loved you first for you and then only for the sake of loving someone anyone

even when you don't love me back

even especially when love becomes a dead word and means i have no conception of

but it's gone now...all feelings have been lost or stolen or just fading slowly; pressed between the pages of words and drawings you gave me somewhere in the beginning of it all