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Remember that all suffering is made up by your & others' heads ("pain is inevitable, suffering is optional"). Remember that state of serenity on Oct 22-23, 2019 as a truly healthy state. And gently steer yourself into doing 3/3/3+1 with curiosity, self-compassion, mindfulness, the learning-goals approach instead of the performance-goals approach where possible (Er. S.' stuff helps!)

bookmarks:
listography GIVE A GIFT OF MEMORIES
FAVORITE LISTOGRAPHY MENTIONS
IMPORTANT NOTICES
MESSAGES
PRIVACY

Happify's S.T.A.G.E. framework (5 key happiness skills, research):

  • Savor
  • Thank
  • Aspire
  • Give
  • Empathize

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From the handout from a Coursera course:

The PEA is:

  • Being in PNS arousal; feeling positive and hopeful; thinking about the future, dreams, and possibilities.
  • Being optimistic, focusing on one’s strengths.
  • Excited about trying something new, experimenting.
  • Being in resonant relationships.

The NEA is:

  • Being in SNS arousal; feeling negative and fear; thinking about the past or present, expectations of others and problems.
  • Being pessimistic, focusing on one’s weaknesses.
  • Feeling obligated to things you “should” or are “expected by others” to do, like a performance improvement plan.
  • Being in dissonant relationships.

Sustained desired change tends to start in the PEA.

To sustain learning or change efforts, it is likely that you have to spend 3-6 times in the PEA as the time spent in the NEA. This is to compensate for the observation that negative emotions are stronger than positive.

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The stuff below isn't really usable, but still seems like good reminders:

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Health detractors (via some Ayurvedic herb' package):

  • Criticism
  • Anger
  • Resentment
  • Guilt

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Happiness detractors (from that article in Forbes?):

  • Blaming
    • Instead: take responsibility & focus on doing things better or smarter next time!
  • Impressing
    • Instead: a relationship that is not based on substance is not a real relationship; be yourself
  • Clinging
    • Instead: let it go!
  • Interrupting
    • Instead: Want people to like you? Listen to what they say. Focus on what they say. Ask questions to make sure you understand what they say.
  • Whining
    • Instead: Why waste time? Fix it now. &Friends don't let friends whine--friends help friends make their lives better
  • Controlling
    • Instead: the only thing you really control is you
  • Criticizing
    • Instead: appreciate the differences!
  • Preaching (people may hear you but they don't listen!)
  • Dwelling
    • Instead: let it go!
  • Fearing
    • Instead: Put your fears aside and get started. Do something. Otherwise, today is gone.
apr 14 2014 ∞
jun 21 2019 +