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Remember that all suffering is made up by your & others' heads ("pain is inevitable, suffering is optional"). Remember that state of serenity on Oct 22-23, 2019 as a truly healthy state. And gently steer yourself into doing 3/3/3+1 with curiosity, self-compassion, mindfulness, the learning-goals approach instead of the performance-goals approach where possible (Er. S.' stuff helps!)

listography NEW JOURNAL

Happify's S.T.A.G.E. framework (5 key happiness skills, research):

  • Savor
  • Thank
  • Aspire
  • Give
  • Empathize


From the handout from a Coursera course:

The PEA is:

  • Being in PNS arousal; feeling positive and hopeful; thinking about the future, dreams, and possibilities.
  • Being optimistic, focusing on one’s strengths.
  • Excited about trying something new, experimenting.
  • Being in resonant relationships.

The NEA is:

  • Being in SNS arousal; feeling negative and fear; thinking about the past or present, expectations of others and problems.
  • Being pessimistic, focusing on one’s weaknesses.
  • Feeling obligated to things you “should” or are “expected by others” to do, like a performance improvement plan.
  • Being in dissonant relationships.

Sustained desired change tends to start in the PEA.

To sustain learning or change efforts, it is likely that you have to spend 3-6 times in the PEA as the time spent in the NEA. This is to compensate for the observation that negative emotions are stronger than positive.


The stuff below isn't really usable, but still seems like good reminders:


Health detractors (via some Ayurvedic herb' package):

  • Criticism
  • Anger
  • Resentment
  • Guilt


Happiness detractors (from that article in Forbes?):

  • Blaming
    • Instead: take responsibility & focus on doing things better or smarter next time!
  • Impressing
    • Instead: a relationship that is not based on substance is not a real relationship; be yourself
  • Clinging
    • Instead: let it go!
  • Interrupting
    • Instead: Want people to like you? Listen to what they say. Focus on what they say. Ask questions to make sure you understand what they say.
  • Whining
    • Instead: Why waste time? Fix it now. &Friends don't let friends whine--friends help friends make their lives better
  • Controlling
    • Instead: the only thing you really control is you
  • Criticizing
    • Instead: appreciate the differences!
  • Preaching (people may hear you but they don't listen!)
  • Dwelling
    • Instead: let it go!
  • Fearing
    • Instead: Put your fears aside and get started. Do something. Otherwise, today is gone.
apr 14 2014 ∞
jun 21 2019 +