• "i'm such a good uncle, they just keep giving me more!"
• "muffin tops are not attractive."
• "bieng drunk. is so fun!"
• "ONLY SPEAK WHEN SPOKEN TO WHORE"
• "there is no x in the mexican alphabet!"
• "FABULOUS"
• "hey pretty lady did you go to college?"
  • "get your BA with all that knowledge?"
• "even skinny girls have jiggly things on their backs"
• "I CAN'T TOUCH SALAD DRESSING"
• "living rooms, bedrooms, dinettes, oh yeah"
• "schwamanamanamanamana"
• "hold! hold!"
• "can you whip our friend rachel?"
• "wait."
• "she looks like a cat in that picture. when i see it i just want to say, "MRAOW""

I am aware there are many more to be added.