This is our drama fest play, The Auditioners. It is hysterical. It is about a director and stage manager looking for female actors. There are 12 auditioners and almost all of them are terrible or insane. Obviously since three Asianettes are in it (Jojo, Maria, and myself) it is even better than it originally would be. Everyone must come and see it. MUST. Please enjoy this cast list.

• The Director- Played by Courtney Hall. Is calling for an audition for females. Witnesses many interesting auditions from 12 people. Steals alcohol from #6 and is thinking about killing herself. Hates life.
• Cameron- Played by JoAnne Barrett. Only character with a real given name. Is female, but some auditioners are unsure of this, thus they attempt to flirt with her. Has no lines but is still pretty amazing. Hilarious reactions are had.
• One- Played by Kayla Morello. Overly cutesy, wearing graphic T shirts. Her boobs unknowingly fly everywhere. First preforms Lady MacBeth over dramatically. Then talks about how she overdosed on nutmeg and got high, and she was so addicted she would even make out with the floor manager at Costco! And now she's dead.
• Two- Played by Ashley Croce. Is going to kill Romeo for going out with 13 year old Juliet, who snores like a bear and wears too much make up. What a whore. Then rants about her 2 minutes to do a monologue, and how she got mono and failed Spanish.
• Three- Played by Maria Puopolo. Is a sex fiend, goes by Monica. Wears spandex, sexy red dresses, and black pumps. She /is/ a queen. Oh, her favorite animal is puppies and you can IM her at Slinkyminx287 if you like to chat about grown up things. In her second monologue, you can witness her having an orgasm on stage! Also, many moves are made towards Cameron. Many, many moves.
• Four- Played by Nicole DeSantis. Says MacBeth in the theater, the director freaks out and commands her to leave. Keeps returning throughout the play with various disguises and accents in hopes of being accepted to audition. Her beard of upper lip is thrown out before 10's audition, she is quite devastated. Comes back at the end with a surprise.
• Five- Played by Simona Granfone. Seems like your innocent, okra loving, argyle wearing girl - but not so much. This little one has a few anger problems. When bitches steal her radio add, you know shit will go down. This girl reminds you exactly why you shouldn't pick the little people last in every game of kickball. Very offended when checked out by 6. And now she's dead.
• Six- Played by Anita McGrath. Is a flaming, biker chick dike lesbian with a drinking problem. Rocks a really bad ass leather vest. Is a really great comic, and believes men and woman are from two totally different planets! Really enjoys Ben Franklin and farts. As she's leaving, she grabs Cameron's breast with no shame. Her girlfriend left her after eight years, and now she wishes she was dead.
  • "Just do it. You're beautiful"
• Seven- Played by Dave Litchman. Sneaks his way into this all female audition. Is a pretty intense rapper, Mr. Man. Is not afraid to flip the birds and grab some crotch. This man is just too bad ass for his own good. So bad ass, in fact, he gets kicked out of the audition.
• Eight- Played by Danielle Bertolli. She got her monologues off the internet, and plays a man with a big mole. You have never seen bigger eyes than this. Trust me. May be confused with a former president. Free Willy? Solid rental.
• Nine- Played by Tess Villemaire. Has a passionate love for our Savior, the Lord God (ILOVEYOU). Hates all who go against the Lord, especially the whore mongers. She is the Alpha and Omega. Certainly does not appreciate when she is interrupted from reading the mother fucking Bible.
• Ten- Played by Kaleigh Bradley. She promises nothing but the best. She's always depended on the kindness of strangers, and can probably quote more movies and Shakespeare than you can. Channels a wookie from Star Wars.
• Eleven- Played by Annie McMenamin. Truly a fascinating person. Goes by Rhonda. Wears really cute hippie skirts and has a lot of hair. And no, no not just on her head. Speaks fluent Esperanto and makes a great mime. Also has a little bit of a lisp going on. Probably the sexiest character in the play, no question. You're so dead.
• Twelve- Played by Mary-Cate Quigley. Is a really great Jew. She's pregnant with your sperm whale, she might kill you will a button or rattle. You never know with Riki Zyde. She also pulls off a mean Avedita impression. You're so dead.