Sly

• "Interesting. So when are you going to get to the impossible part?"
• "That's not flirtatious chit-chat?"
• "Up, down, up, down... they should really put an elevator in this place."
• "Being gentlemen..."
• "I have no idea what you're saying. And your suit sucks."
• "Do you think I'm crazy? Wait, don't answer that. I don't want your professional opinion."
• "Hello, assorted meatheads! ...and lady. Anyone up feel like some exercise?"
• "And... I'm out."
• "All right, let's blow stuff up!"
• "Now that we're a team, I hate to leave your side."
• "Not to be too obvious in exposing my ignorance, but..."
• "I didn't think pirates could get that old... thought scurvy got to them or something."
• "Argh! I forgot me number two pencil for the Scranton test!"
• "You're real good with the pirate talk. Just put two non-sense words together and POW, scary pirate name-calling."
• "You done whining?"
• "Sounds easy enough. What's the catch?"
• "Always a slave to the schedule, that's me."
• "Why don't you stop setting these guards up to kill me?"
• "There are other ways to help, Carmelita..."
• "Okay, I don't know where you're going with all this, but freeing trapped ghosts sounds... vaguely heroic!"
• "Anything bad for the Contessa is good for us... and we get to really freak out Neyla!"
• "You know, I just can't get it out of my head. Have you ever had pasta sauce that tasty? I don't want to distract you or anything, but I just don't think I've ever had cooking that good. Are we missing out on a whole universe of flavours here?"
• "Don't take too long. If that guy comes back to chat, I'm out of here."
• "You've got real skill with this art decryption, Bentley. They usually take me like twenty minutes. You're just flying right through them."
• "[getting a password wrong] I'll get right back to you on that."
• "[getting a password wrong] Could you repeat that?"
• "Finally, that guy was--the mask! It's getting away?!"
• "Uh, Bentley? A little help here?"
• "Sure. We all play nice until tomorrow, then blow each other to bits at 300 feet."
• "Don't let Murray near those things. Oh, wait, wait! I get it!"
• "Crime? What crime? I haven't stolen anything... yet."
• "Bentley's found a weak spot in the solitary confinement cell. If you can get into a big enough fight, you'll get thrown in there... trust me, I'm speaking from experience."

Bentley

• "Don't mention it -- it's your funeral."
• "But first thing's first... I had to learn how to drive... a stick-shift. [horror music in background]"
• "Sly can't even spell ASCII."
• "I've never seen such a majestic creature! So full of life, so ready to live-- ...so much for that. He's back in the deep freeze."
• "Channel your inner frat boy!"
• "If I did my math right--and I ALWAYS do my math right..."
• "I got a postcard from him
  
  once. It said, 'I'm here, wish you were fine -- like me.'"
• "Be still, my heart -- she made an obscure NASA reference!"
• "I'll... think of something!"
• "Your mother was a broken-down tub of junk with more gentleman callers than the operator."
• "No code can stand before me!"
• "That double-crossing... cockney... liar!"
• "Bentley strikes again!"
• "Three-five-point-nine GPAs, sucka!"
• "That's for making fun of my glasses."
• "And you'll need to deactivate her giant attack robot. No, really, Sly, she has a giant attack robot."
• "I pride myself on deviousness these days."
• "I can't believe that worked! You have the WORST Italian accent I've EVER heard! ...no offense."
• "Bring it on, Grandpa. I'll sing you under the table."
• "Behold, the majesty of gravity and inertia!"
• "Since when do masks get away?!"
• "You're the climber, and I'm sure you've always wanted to be closer to her
  
  ... can't get much closer than climbing up her boot laces."
• "It doesn't take an engineerer to figure out how to blow up a bridge."
• "During surveillance, I actually witnessed him kick a puppy... twice!"
• "Put me down, you geriatric fiend!"
• "Just leave your shark friends behind. They freak me out."
• "That sneaky devil."

Bentley (Grapple-Cam)

• "Up your nose with a rubber hose!"
• "I'm yelling at you!"
• "Yo, ugly!"
• "Yo mama."
• "You're a bad person, I mean it!"
• "You, with the low self-esteem!"
• "Hey, you, unattractive person!"
• "
  
  You will never find meee~"
• "Follow the sound of my voiiiceee."
• "Aaaloha, idiot!"
• "Hey, fatty!"
• "Hey, pat attention to me!"

Carmelita

• "Blast it, Sly! Why run? Why not face me like a real man?"
  • this is one of the very, very few times she calls him Sly, and not Cooper or Ringtail.
• "That, and I enjoy making tough guys cry like the stupid babies they really are."
• "They never, ever freeze!"
• "Don't get me started, smartass!"
  • I find it amusing how she swears in the comics.
• "Don't touch MY criminal."
• "Hold on, Ringtail..."
• "Well... maybe I'll give you a ten-second head start."

Dimitri

• "My suit is greasy sweet!"
• "You... you... cracker-box!"
• "Don't worry no mind."
• "I come to help you dig, dig?"
• "Murray? That name's a stain on my pants, bro."
• "Let's dance!"
• "I'm sure two cool cats in a bag like us can work something out, yeah?"
• "Look - you see the money, you like the money?"
• "I'll dive, baby!
  
  I'll dive for the loooooveeeeee~"
• "You spy my macho frame? I'm packing too much sexy muscle to fit in vent like you stick dudes."
• "This no small favour like, 'Will you water my fish or feed my plant?'."
• "The turtle dude made sounds about le scuba."
• "I'm mag-to-the-jag-to-the-ificient, baby!"
• "Looking for main man Murray, eh? Sorry, but I'd rather see you get busted big time. Guards! POLITZIA!"
• "Can you really crack this coconut?"
• "Main man bro!"
• "My grandfather, he had the juice - check it!"
• "Whoohoo, Carmelita-[?], throw the cuffs at me~"
• "Rajan's spice is oh-so-spicy. I love and hate all at the same time!"
• "Talking about me, my friend? Well, I'm not seeing anyone else here so you must be talking about me!"
• "I am not cold-blooded, my friend. I am cooool blooded."

Murray

• "The Murray knows no song but the triumphant horn section of his own triumph!"
• "Wow! You're pretty good at breaking stuff. I, uh... I can respect that."
• "What do you see? Is it awesome?"
• "I broke your temple, and I'll break your face for messing with the Cooper gang!"
• "Sweet strawberry shortcake!"
• "Holy cow! That mask can run! Mine can't do that."
• "That's it! I'll floss my teeth with your spine!!"
• "I get to row a boat?! Natucial!!"
• "Why did the chicken cross the road to France? Because it wasn't a turkey! Because, see, the chicken was a Turk, or a turkey... it was a French hen!"
• "What was Genghis Khan's favourite meal? The brains of his enemy! Okay, it's more gross and weird than funny, but you have to admit it's pretty weird..."

Penelope

• "I'm gonna check on Bentley. You have fun... being you."

Other

• Mercenary: You look a lot better in the dark, Pedro. Truly, you are an ugly, ugly man.
• Octavio: This recitaaaaal...! is over.
• Octavio: You think that was "cool", punk?
• • Carmelita: Freeze, Cooper!
  • Sly: How can I freeze when my heart warms at the very sight of you?
  • Carmelita: Shut up, Ringtail!
• • Murray: I'm just not used to driving on the wrong side of the road!
  • Sly: Wrong side of the...? Just get the key!
• • Mz. Ruby: I could feel that Cooper vibe a-comin'. Most distastefully bad juju.
  • Sly: Yeah, well, you give me the creeps, too, lady. Cooking up an army of ghosts isn't a very neighbourly past time.
• • Sly: Come back here! You can't run away forever.
  • Mz. Ruby: Quite true, quite true. Why don't I have my servant Chumley escort you over here?
  • Sly: All right... what's the catch?
  • Mz. Ruby: Oh, not much... just a little game I like to play with all my annoyin' guests. I wanna see how well you pay attention.
  • Sly: What do you mean?
  • Mz. Ruby: Well, I'll unleash my might mojo-magic upon you... if you repeat what I do, you'll dodge it just fine. If not... you'll get zapped.
  • Sly: A little voodoo Simon Says, huh? Sounds easy enough.
• • Mz. Ruby: You go pokin' around his stronghold in China... you're likely to get poked back.
  • Sly: Yeah, well, if he's anything like the rest of you, I think I'll manage.
• • Bentley: That, and you've got a thing for her.
  • Sly: And I've got a thing for her--LOOK.
• • Sly: Dimitri, long time no punch. I see you're still in jail.
  • Dimitri: And you still a cracker-box.
• • Carmelita: You've got some serious nerve, showing up in my squad room.
  • Sly: I was concerned we were growing apart.
  • Carmelita: Then let's spend some quality time together in my interrogation cell.
  • Sly: So forward! What happened to the demure girl I used to know?
  • Carmelita: She grew up and stopped taking grief from guys like you.
  • Sly:
    
    "Guys like me"? Are you saying I've got some competition for your affections?
  • Carmelita: [drawing Shock Pistol] You're the only man in my sights right now.
• • Murray: Greetings, old--Inspector Fox?! Man, you're in it again.
  • Sly: Hope that manhole works both ways!
  • Carmelita: That's right, hide in the sewers, like the RAT you are!
• • Muggshot: My boys have been yappin' their mouths about some big, mysterious dude runnin' around crackin' skulls and... and... and this is it? You're the monkey wrench in my operation? Some scrawny rat wit' a stick? Wait a second... I seen that stick somewhere before...
  • Sly: Maybe when my father knocked your block off with it.
• • Penelope: Well, we won't get anything done just standing around here--oh, sorry about that standing comment...
  • Bentley Give me a break, Penelope, it's just an expression.
• • Bentley: To take a proper photo, press the R1 button.
  • Sly: Yes, well, I wouldn't want to take an improper photo of that fox, Carmelita.
  • Bentley: Ahem... Sly! Pay attention!
• • Bentley: Sly! Come in, Sly! Do you read me?!
  • Sly: Yeah, I read you. Loud, and... very loud.
• • Sly: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Relax, Bentley; I live for this stuff!
  • Bentley: That's what worries me.
• • Sly: Nice to see you, gorgeous.
  • Carmelita: You too.
• • Murray: My guru, in his wisdom, told me to lose myself and not come back until the black water ran pure.
  • Sly: Are you sure he didn't tell you to get lost and not come back until you'd cleaned out the water filter?
  • Murray: Come on! I'm on a real spirit quest here!
  • Sly: Sorry, sorry. Tell me all about it... I've missed you, pal.
  • Murray: Well, it's a long and awesome story. You got any gum?
• • Sly: No problem. You know how I love to mess with Carmelita.
  • Murray: Yeah. That's weird. See you back at the safehouse.
• • Pirate: Avast! Ye 'ave me with my back to the sea! I yield!
  • Sly: I just wanted your hat!
• • Bentley: But remember, keep it quiet!
  • Sly: [loud whisper] O...kay...!
• • Sly: What did you do...?
  • Murray: The unspeakable, Sly. The unspeakable.
  • Sly: Well, thanks for speaking of it...
• • Sly: Hey, Inspector Fox! Still looking for a date to the prom?
  • Carmelita: Quit running and I'll pin the corsage on you!
• • Bentley: You know, I've been thinking about your appearance...
  • Muggshot: Look, if you don't got nothin' nice to say, don't say nothin' at all! Got it?
  • Bentley: ...
  • Muggshot: What, don't got no sassy comment, smart guy?
  • Bentley: ...
  • Muggshot: Oh, I get it. You got nothin' nice to say, so you're keepin' quiet. That's real cute.
  • Bentley: ...
  • Muggshot: You really don't have anything nice to say? ...That's cold.
• • Sly: I read you loud and clear... lizard.
  • Bentley: No, Sly, I'm--oh, forget it, you're not taking this seriously!
  • Sly: Yeah, I'm not.
• • Sly: I've got to hand it to you, Bentley. This is a really underhanded plan.
  • Bentley: Why, thank you. I'm feeling pretty good about it!
• • Neyla: Are you here to turn yourself in? Old Ironsides
    
    would fall right out of her dress.
  • Sly: As good as that sounds...
• • Murray: Penelope, I've been doing this a LONG time, and if there's one thing I've learned, it's that when the plan fails, always fall back on the golden rule.
  • Penelope: Yeah? What's that?
  • Murray: BREAK STUFF!
• • Bentley: You picked up a lot of new skills after reading the Thievius Raccoonus.
  • Sly: Heck of a page turner, that book.
• • Bentley: You're not gonna say "I'm a lover, not a fighter", are you?
  • Sly: Well... not now.
  • Bentley: That's what I thought.
• • Bentley: I'm gonna have him attack you, and you'll have to run away and lose him.
  • Sly: Whoa, wait, hold up--
  • Bentley: Ready, set, go!
• • Bentley: Why not try to run to this waypoint within six seconds, and then escape from the guards?
  • Sly: Aw, come on!
  • Bentley: Ready-set-GO!
• • Sly: There you go, Bentley. Some nice pin-ups for our refrigerator.
  • Bentley: Lovely work. High art.
  • Sly: Seriously?
  • Bentley: No.
• • Sly: Now, see, a girl whose best friend is a firearm has issues. A little dinner, a little dancing, and I think I can help you out.
  • Carmelita: Sure, as long as you don't mind dining behind bars.
  • Sly: Nah, I've heard the service is lousy.
• • Sly: Never thought we'd be helping out the cops...
  • Bentley: Reeeally? You always seem eager to aid Inspector Fox.
  • Sly: Yeah, well, she's different. Your average law enforcer isn't that, I don't know... attractive.
• • Bentley: Sly, do you read me?
  • Sly: How I've missed that sensuous voice of yours!
• • Bentley: Well, you know what they say; "If you can't count on a friend to bust you out of jail, what kind of a friend are they?"
  • Sly Truer words were never spoken... Wizard.
• • Sly: Boy, when we try to tick someone off, we really do the job.
  • Neyla: Yes, you do seem to have a talent for it.
  • Sly: Constable Neyla, slumming it with the thieves again?
• • Sly: Let me get this straight. We're going to bug Rajan's office, with a bug?
  • Bentley: It is an elegant plan, I agree. Now pay attention.
• • Bentley: Sly, are you up there?
  • Sly: Nope, sorry, just us Black Baron goons.
• • Bentley: It was a child compared to this ferocious beast! It's got a longer fuse, but you've got farther to run.
  • Sly: "Ferocious beast"?
  • Bentley: Run, Sly, run! Fear the beast!
• • Bentley: Any problems with that guy?
  • Sly: Said he wanted to be buried in his mom's pasta sauce...
  • Bentley: Yeah. That's, uh... that's strange.
• • Sly: You know, maybe there's a good Italian restaurant around here.
  • Bentley: ENOUGH with the sauce! Keep your focus, we're on a job here! Thugs everywhere, death around every corner!
  • Sly: You're right. We've got one more coffeehouse to hit, then we're done.
  • Bentley: Yes, now you're talking sense!
  • Sly: And then, we eat.
• • Carmelita: We've been authorised to use lethal force! You hear that, Cooper?! LETHAL. FORCE.
  • Sly: That Carmelita... what a sweet-talker~!
• • Murray: He'll get inside your head and freak you out, six ways from Sunday!
  • Sly: Uh... awesome.
• • Sly: Look tough and get angry.
  • Bentley: I'm not sure I can do it! How do you guys get angry?
  • Murray: Find the match, deep inside yourself. Light it, and let the fire burn up your gut and boil your blood!!
  • Sly: Uh, yeah. I pretty much do the same thing.
• • Bentley: Uhh, well, given the weight of the darts, I'll need to... sneak up behind him and take a shot from within a few... meters.
  • Sly: Meters?!
  • Bentley: Quit trying to freak me out and put the Guru on the line!
• • Sly: Carmelita, you've got something on your face...
  • Carmelita: It's not nice to make fun of a girl's looks... maybe I should SMASH YOU!
  • Sly: Now THAT'S not nice.
• • Sly: ...and get back the Carmelita we all know and love.
  • Murray: I do NOT love her!
  • Sly: Okay, not the point.
• • Sly: Guess he doesn't want to talk. Sorry, Bentley, let's go.
  • Bentley: Be realistic, Sly.
• • Bentley: We need to delve into his mind.
  • Sly: A hacksaw, then?
• • Panda King: I shall not kill you this day, Cooper.
  • Sly: Uh... ditto.
• • Sly: There's gonna be fangs EVERYWHERE!
  • Panda King: ......
  • Sly: Right... I'll just... head back to the safehouse...
  • Panda King: ...yes... do that...
• • Bentley: He should be back in bed after the thrashing he took. Another blow to the head, and your brain could snap!
  • Sly: Quit your worrying, I feel fine.
• • Bentley: I... I'll think of something, just give me time!
  • Murray: You know what, Bentley?
  • Bentley: What?!
  • Murray: You think awesome.
  • Bentley: Thanks, pal.
• • Bentley: He has the ThiefNet computer! We're doomed!!
  • Sly: Calm down, Bentley.