awful feeling when people don't remember what you said

dec 10 2023 ∞
dec 10 2023 +
  • people like me choose to be unhappy. there's nothing for me to be upset about. So I'll choose to not care
  • figured out why I don't like it when other people like the same thing as me. when other people like the same thing as me I feel an obligation to give it up for them.
  • the voice in my head sounds like my dad
  • you complain too much
  • so?
jul 2 2023 ∞
nov 5 2023 +
  • before university, I wanted to leave so I could starve myself in peace
  • When I was in first term, I wanted to die
  • When I was in second term, I wanted to be a normal person
  • When I was in third and fourth term I wanted to binge alone in peace
  • When I was in seventh term, I wanted to get a good coop
  • When I was in eighth term, I wanted to do well and have the option of going to grad school

See how much your expectations have changed?

apr 28 2023 ∞
apr 28 2023 +
  • after I graduated from high school, for a while, an important plot point of my daydreams was me dying before I turned 18
  • one option was killing myself
  • but the other option that I thought of more often was dying of illness

You can't live like this anymore 妞儿

please keep your brain here - don't daydream about something impossible and safe

mar 19 2023 ∞
apr 13 2023 +

mom chose to be with dad she did not choose you

every time I go home, it feels like Mom and I's time is running out

I am so unused to male attention that I'm happy no matter who it comes from

aug 25 2022 ∞
mar 25 2023 +

don't be like mom and question people why they feel what they feel and invalidate how they feel

be selective when choosing topics to talk about filter your thoughts and opinions

be good please you have to be good don't ruin other people's lives

do not eat and watch youtube/browse the internet together you can eat and study, watch lectures, or do homework you can watch youtube/browse internet and exercising

me and my big fat stupid mouth learn how to shut up

you are so sensitive about your weight so you have to lose weight

when you get a job, buy an electric piano for mom, need to figure out what to buy dad, and take them out to eat

feb 22 2022 ∞
jun 17 2022 +

you are every negative trait of your mother and father

you know you're really stupid when you get called "not sharp" unprovoked

when you look like you're dying at least people are nicer to you

when you don't run after people for approval they'll like you more

even your mother is fed up with you

your parents react the way they do because they are tired of your behaviour

oct 19 2021 ∞
nov 28 2021 +
  • 2021-09-06 | 9:20 AM | 11:00 PM
  • 2021-09-07 | 7:00 AM | 11:59 PM
  • 2021-09-08 | 7:00 AM | 11:59 PM
  • 2021-09-09 | 6:40 AM | 12:48 AM
  • 2021-09-10 | 6:30 AM | 2:00 AM
  • 2021-09-11 | 8:15 AM | 1:15 AM
  • 2021-09-12 | 7:45 AM | 2:00 AM
  • 2021-09-13 | 7:00 AM | 11:15 PM
  • 2021-09-14 | 7:10 AM | 11:59 PM
  • 2021-09-15 | 7:00 AM | 12:50 AM
  • 2021-09-16 | 7:15 AM | 2:00 AM
  • 2021-09-17 | 7:10 AM | 2:00 AM
  • 2021-09-18 | 8:00 AM | 2:37 AM
  • 2021-09-19 | 8:07 AM | 11:30 PM
  • 2021-09-20 | 6:50 AM | 1:00 AM
  • 2021-09-21 | 7:30 AM | 11:59 PM
  • 2021-09-22 | 6:56 AM | 12:30 AM
  • 2021-09-23 | 6:55 AM | 12:40 AM
  • 2021-09-24 | 7:10 AM | 11:45 PM
  • 2021-09-25 | 7:45 AM | 11:50 PM
  • 2021-09-26 | 7:35 AM | 12:15 AM
sep 6 2021 ∞
nov 1 2021 +
  • 2021 June 26

father bad mood Thursday morning when I went downstairs not mad at me specifically thought they were okay when I heard them outside earlier that day mad at lunch, at mom when she asked about work, then brother when he asked about work mom doesn't know why he's mad but says it's not because of me Friday was not good as well, ignoring mom today during lunch we watched the dating show he said that the most important thing for marriage is to trust the other person something about taking the family's money and spreading it outside after a bit I started crying dad asked why i was crying i went upstairs mom came upstairs dad came upstairs i went downstairs brother went to go talk to mom, then dad mom and I talked mom and dad talked

  • 2021 Aug 14
jun 26 2021 ∞
oct 22 2021 +

stupid stupid stupid mom is going to doctor to get results of scan; she's super worried about it. I'm off here blabbing about investments stupid stupid stupid

dec 22 2023 ∞
dec 22 2023 +

i ask dad if he needs help. he says fine. then, when I'm telling him what's wrong, he tells me to hurry up with a really rude attitude? mom does the same thing

aug 3 2023 ∞
aug 3 2023 +

i don't ever want to forget that feeling of stress and being busy the last few weeks of April were...

apr 28 2023 ∞
apr 28 2023 +
mar 12 2023 ∞
apr 26 2023 +

As of April 2023

  • everytime - ariana grande
  • bad idea - ariana grande
  • bloodline - ariana grande
  • one - epik high
  • 연필깎이 - epik high
  • chasing pavements - adele
  • hometown glory - adele
  • turning tables - adele

As of June 2022

  • when it's cold i'd like to die - moby, mimi goese
  • no more "i love you's" - the lover speaks
  • no more "i love you's" - annie lennox
  • walking on broken glass - annie lennox
  • where is my mind - the pixies
  • float on - modest mouse
  • %% - apink

As of May 2022

feb 19 2021 ∞
apr 27 2023 +
  • white dress shirt
  • blue dress shirt
  • high waisted black dress pants
  • laptop
  • laptop camera cover
  • calendar/planner
  • door lock (already had one)
  • white out
  • face cream for night
  • sunscreen
  • sunglasses
  • seamless underwear
  • casual but not too casual shoes
  • casual but not too casual pants
  • nice shirts (turtleneck, long sleeve)
  • nice sweaters and cardigans, not too thick
sep 8 2021 ∞
may 5 2022 +
  • you need to face your problems
    • they're not going to go away otherwise
  • everything you dislike about yourself was caused by you
  • you are incredibly self-centred
  • you are a waste of money
  • growing up means being responsible for yourself, the people around you, and your actions
  • you cannot be sloppy, careless, and impulsive
jul 6 2021 ∞
aug 14 2021 +

“When you let fear control your life, you end up at a place that’s worse than what you were trying to avoid.

aug 20 2023 ∞
aug 20 2023 +

Favourite musicians

  • Carly Rae Jepsen
  • Caroline Polachek
  • No Party for Cao Dong
  • Daughter
  • Jaurim
  • Floruit Show

Favourite albums

  • Lorde - Melodrama
  • Caroline Polachek - Pang
  • Carly Rae Jepsen - Emotion

K-pop

  • EXO
  • NCT 127

Favourite Movies

Favourite TV Shows

  • Moving
  • Someday or one day
may 24 2023 ∞
mar 1 2024 +

Things to read when you are being selfish

Things to not forget

apr 13 2023 ∞
apr 30 2023 +

Biweekly Grocery List Produce

  • 1 bag of lemons
  • 1 iceberg lettuce (or buy the kind you can plant and grow at home so you don't waste money on ....lettuce... of all things)
  • 1 bag of apples (buy a kind you like!)
  • 1 bag of oranges
  • box of clementines
  • 1 cabbage
  • 1 napa cabbage
  • 1 zucchini
  • 1 eggplant
  • 1 bag of tomatoes
  • 1 bag of sweet potatoes
  • 1 normal (i.e. not mini) cucumber
  • some leafy greens on sale (e.g. qing cai, kale, arugula, collard greens)
  • bag of garlic
  • green onion
  • 1 yellow onion
jan 30 2022 ∞
jan 30 2022 +

Most of my habits are bad. I'm going to change them. I'm changing them.

  • don't look at your phone you idiot

YOU ARE GOING BLIND

  • shut up
    • Why? there's obviously a reason why no one listens to you
      • and there's a reason why no one trusts you with anything

who care how long you stay in bed as long as you don't look at your phone

  • get out of bed when I wake up
    • Why? Mom was shoveling the snow outside while I was sitting upstairs.
      • I will never let that happen again
feb 19 2021 ∞
jul 6 2021 +
  • talking points for classes
  • talking points for work
    • profit study
    • aar
    • reserve review
    • IFRS 17 testing

Finished:

  • practice for driving test
  • add stats major
  • check graduation requirements
sep 21 2021 ∞
apr 13 2023 +