- When I meet new people, I always imagine what it would be like to slap them across the face.
- Being clumsy will never stop me!
- I've heard once you die, every dog you once knew or ever loved runs toward you to say hi. That makes me incredibly happy.
- Sometimes I make myself cry on the drive home to see the reactions of the people I drive past.
- I make a conscious effort to sit next to the creepiest person aboard the cue bus whenever I ride in hopes that they'll do something insane and I will have a story to tell all my friends.
- The neater your handwriting, the better I take care of your insurance policies.
- I think dirty thoughts about you while you're conducting.
- I love the self check-out. Over the past 2 years I have probably saved over $500 by ringing up all of my produce as bananas.
- I lie to people I work with by telling them that I am germaphobic so that they will stay away from me.
- Even when I watch the O's I wonder...what does Judy want for Christmas?
- I refuse to buy products tested on animals but I have no problem stealing them.
- Sometimes I flash my headlights to warn other drivers of absolutely nothing.
- Many Sundays I feel as though I could do a much better job choosing the secrets. Sorry Frank.
- I would love to tell my wife about postsecret.com, but she would think many of the secrets were mine and start a big fight.
- Tapeworms are what keep me thin.
- When I taught English in China, I secretly taught all outdated slang. Now, I hope it spreads like crazy!
- I'm mortified that I lost my virginity to a hick.
- I am addicted to shopping at Whole Foods because I feel cool there...I don't know how to tell my husband that it's putting us in debt.
- I've been volunteering at hospice for the past year in hopes that, out of necessity, I will learn to believe in God.
- I blamed my stinky fart on my 3 year-old son. (I'm sorry, sweetie!)
- I'd rather watch people at museums than look at art.
- Whenever I'm walking alone, I can hear Oprah's voice saying "And then the unexpected happened" and it freaks me out!
- I sabotage all my relationships so I can be a better musician.
- Just because I'm Indian doesn't mean I work at the Kwik-E-Mart!
- I am too intellectual and sophisticated to be seen reading "chick lit"...thank goodness for audiobooks and iPods.
- I got back with my ex because I needed editing software.
- After we spent the evening doing "random acts of kindness," I dropped you off at your car and said, "You made someone's night." What I meant was, "You made mine."
feb 22 2009 ∞
aug 21 2010 +