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"People pat me on the head, and I go to myself, oh, and aren't they going to be surprised. ..."

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  • "Oh my gosh, I'd like have sex with somebody for a Caramel Frappacino"

(talking about Starbucks)

  • "I'm not gonna lie...girls putting on mascara before they go out - turns me on"

(Bret Michaels impersonation)

  • "Maybe if you stop giving out hand-jobs out like candy..."
  • "I have to pee. Does that turn you on?"
  • "Send him gay porn and tell him 'this is what we could be if both had penises.' But wait...he already has one..."
mar 9 2008 ∞
mar 11 2008 +