Tips for Proper English

• Avoid alliteration. Always.
• Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do. State your argument in the SIMPLEST language possible - write three to four SIMPLE sentences to back it up - state your argument ONE MORE TIME in simple language to make sure your TF understands what you're getting at.
• Employ the vernacular.
• Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
• Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
• Remember to never split an infinitive.
• Contractions aren't necessary.
• Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
• One should never generalize.
• Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate
• Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
• Don't be redundant; don't use more words than necessary; it's
• Be more or less specific.
• Understatement is always best.
• One-word sentences? Eliminate.
• Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
• The passive voice is to be avoided.
• Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
• Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
• Who needs rhetorical questions?
• Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
• Don't never use a double negation.
• capitalize every sentence and remember always end it with point
• Do not put statements in the negative form.
• Verbs have to agree with their subjects.
• Proofread carefully to see if you words out.
• If you reread your work, you can find on rereading a great deal
• A writer must not shift your point of view.
• And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
• Don't overuse exclamation marks!!
• Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences,
• Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided.
• If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.
• Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing metaphors.
• Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.
• Everyone should be careful to use a singular pronoun
• Always pick on the correct idiom.
• The adverb always follows the verb.
• Last but not least, avoid cliches like the plague;

They're old hat; seek viable alternatives.

Other Versions:

• Don't abbrev.
• Check to see if you any words out.
• Be carefully to use adjectives and adverbs correct.
• About sentence fragments.
• When dangling, don't use participles.
• Don't use no double negatives.
• Each pronoun agrees with their antecedent.
• Just between you and I, case is important.
• Join clauses good, like a conjunction should.
• Don't use commas, that aren't necessary.
• Its important to use apostrophe's right.
• It's better not to unnecessarily split an infinitive.
• Never leave a transitive verb just lay there without an object.
• Only Proper Nouns should be capitalized. also a sentence should
• Use hyphens in compound-words, not just in any two-word phrase.
• In letters compositions reports and things like that we use commas
• Watch out for irregular verbs which have creeped into our language.
• Verbs has to agree with their subjects.
• Avoid unnecessary redundancy.
• A writer mustn't shift your point of view.
• Don't write a run-on sentence you've got to punctuate it.
• A preposition isn't a good thing to end a sentence with.
• Avoid cliches like the plague.
• It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
• Profanity sucks.