• 25 lives / junew

and chanhee swears that sometimes, when he catches him staring, there's a glint in juyeon's eye that tells him there's something he isn't letting on.

(alternates between viewpoints? or maybe opens with juyeon, the rest is chanhee, and ends with juyeon again; in this case, juyeon is the one who remembers everything. chanhee doesn't remember, but he does get a sense or feeling, a wash of nostalgia that he just can't explain)

juyeon meets chanhee for the first time, somewhere under the stars. it's the meeting that seals their fate, and juyeon's in love with him, at first sight, for the next five years, even as he watches chanhee get married and move two cities away, impossible to get to without a car or a very expensive bus pass, because the nagging, tugging, pulling at his heartstrings refuses to let him go. they meet again once, later, years down the line, and chanhee's divorced, eyes a little sunken, a little depressed, and like a fool he lets juyeon kiss him once (or is juyeon the fool?), hidden in a backstreet under the shadow of night. when their lips part, chanhee's eyes are glistened over, as though they were desperate to tell him something.

after that, juyeon never sees him again.

[second life is pilot & steward, third is cafe barista & customer, fourth is childhood friends, fifth is idoldom, sixth is paris, seventh is miscellaneous life vignettes, eight is their last life together, the one where chanhee finally remembers who juyeon is]

o2.

juyeon was the dashing young co-pilot, the latest to join the crew, with jet-black hair always perfectly styled and the neatest row of teeth that glowed when he smiled at you. girls swooned over him, and the senior flight attendant had a soft spot for him, given how she'd take her time after boarding the flight to make sure the cockpit was well stocked and comfortable.

chanhee wasn't blind, he knew a man was his type when he saw one and wasn't afraid to call it, but he'd always been a little more careful about how much of his personal life he shared with his crewmates. after all, you could only stand for people you could spend up to 17 hours with with little to no sleep to know you so well. so, of course, when he sees lee juyeon for the first time, he expects nothing at all, and is understandably flustered when, after their first route briefing as a crew, lee juyeon makes a beeline straight for him.

and chanhee says 'was,' because now, they're entering their second year of operating the biweekly route from seoul to new york city, and while juyeon isn't hot news anymore, he's still aptly admired by cabin attendants and ground staff alike... and still relentless in his pursuit to 'get to know chanhee better.'

what chanhee didn't know that entailed for him was the absolute ignorance of his own hotel accommodations, with juyeon instead choosing to slink over to chanhee's room at strange hours of the night-- mostly after coming home from dinner with associates in the city-- and sinking into the sheets beside him.

chanhee swears that sometimes, when he catches him staring, there's a glint in juyeon's eye that tells him there's something he isn't letting on.

"ugh, you stink..." chanhee says, after hearing three weak raps at his door and answering (he stopped trying to get juyeon back in his own room six months ago).

what would the world think, if they saw their precious lee juyeon like this, slumped over and resting his forehead on the doorframe leading into their hotel room, dress shirt slightly unbuttoned and tie askew, hair looking as though he'd just woken up, the air between them pungent with a mix of soju and grilled beef.

juyeon grins at him, lopsided and lets out a breathy laugh. "choi chanhee, i knew you'd let me in."

chanhee turns away, careful not to let the heat rising on his cheeks be caught in the light of the hallway. "it's more than routine at this point. you do realize it's almost 2 in the morning, right?"

the air behind him shifts and he whips around immediately, ah-ta-tah-ing before juyeon can catch him from behind and use him as a telephone pole.

"shower, now. in the state you're in, you're not getting a anywhere near the bed, let alone under the covers!"

there's a bubbly groan, before juyeon drags his socked feet to the bathroom, loudly flicking on the lights and exhaust and shutting the door behind him.

(they don't mention the pair of clean underwear and oversized sweats that chanhee intentionally packed with him waiting for juyeon on the bathroom counter, or the glass of wine that's by the windowsill looking out at the glowing courtyard of rockefeller center, still wet along the rim from chanhee who was nursing it while sitting in wait.)

the mattress behind him dips, and chanhee pretends to be asleep, still dressed in his bathrobe, sleeping on his side, one arm draped defensively across his chest. he hears juyeon settle, and he's sobered up because the sheets only ruffle ever so slightly before he stills-- then immediately presses his chest to chanhee's back, wrapping an arm around his chest, and pulling them flush together.

"thank you," juyeon mumbles into the crown of his head, grip around his chest tightening, and chanhee prays that he can't hear the way his heart is about to burst. "for always letting me in."

• jejunew headcanons because. well. im insane.

the way it's brought up is simple. it's the day their extended clips for juyeon's walking with someone came out. chanhee and juyeon sitting on the couch in their dorm, watching a movie with the other roommates (it's an old japanese movie named kikujiro, about a son and a father that travel through japan and stand on lonely beaches together in search of home) and juyeon whips out his phone, nostalgic for the sound of ocean waves, and asks chanhee if he'd like to go to jeju.

chanhee scrutinizes him, from across the couch, his face lit up by the soft blue light from his phonescreen and the flashing television, before looking back at his phone. he looks at juyeon again, face slightly puzzled, before it relaxes, and juyeon watches his fingers type 'yes' in reply.

later that night, they book their flights. a few tests and days later, they're off.

(the day before they're meant to leave, they head to apgujeong together for last minute errands and shopping. chanhee draws to a halt in front of balenciaga's latest window display, a full collection inspired by paris. it's boyish, comfortable, and just up chanhee's alley (he's been experimenting with baggier fits that work in the winter) and all it takes is a look for juyeon to step aside and open the golden-gilded doors for him. they walk out twenty minutes later with half the collection in big paper bags, including matching hoodies (for photo opportunities in jeju, chanhee insists) and a confident glint in chanhee's eye.)

• hoshinamidabyou au / junew

"i love you, chanhee."

it takes all the breath in juyeon's lungs to say the words, at 2 in the morning as he and chanhee sit on the couch, sharing only empty space and the sound of a ticking clock between them. chanhee stares back, eyes still, lips parted, his elbows resting above his knees as juyeon watches with bated breath, waiting for something, anything--

"is this... you shouldn't make jokes like that, juyeon-ie." he says through a single laugh, shaking his head, before standing to leave, bidding a quiet goodnight before he steps into the darkness that leads to his room.

juyeon doesn't think he knows heartbreak until later that night, when he stands in the shower, hot water cascading down the lines in his back, but they burn nothing like his eyes do, searing with pain as peals of stardust twinkle down his cheeks, growing larger and larger until they're the size of small pebbles, hitting the tiles beneath his feet with soft clinks.

as the days pass, juyeon finds himself unable to sleep, bolting awake in the middle of the night as younghoon breathes silently across the room. he lets the star fragments come, tearing the skin of his cheeks as they fall into his waiting palms, their sharp corners stained a faded red. he opens the drawer of his bedside table carefully, and drops them into the bowl of stars that pile up with each night, glowing a soft yellow.

##

"so you just ran away?"

changmin faced chanhee, bewilderment on his face, as they stood at the edge of the company rooftop. chanhee had the tip of his thumb held gingerly in his lips as he stared at the city lights, glowing in the distance.

"chanhee," changmin starts, "juyeon is the last person that would lie to you. he'd never."

"i was scared." he bites down on his thumb, feeling the pull of the skin he'd caught between his teeth. "i don't want people to look at him like that."

changmin scoffs. it echoes within the small courtyard of fake grass, barren save for the two of them. "stop it. you're making excuses- you always do this."

"i did the right thing, changmin." chanhee is firm with his words. he bites down a little bit harder, until he hears a soft click, and tastes silver on the tip of his tongue.

##

nobody really thinks of it as a problem when all of a sudden, juyeon asks their manager to check his prescription because he's having a hard time reading the lyrics. sometimes he picks up a fork instead of a spoon, and spends a little more time finding the doorknob that leads into he and younghoon's bedroom.

'what's wrong with your eyes?' jacob asks him one morning over breakfast. juyeon looks up, his eyes shadowed and swollen, highlighted by a line of red that floats above his waterline.

"hm? oh. i've just had trouble sleeping." he says nonchalantly, before returning to his bowl of cereal.

it's none of chanhee's business either, until one day younghoon walks into his bedroom with a bowl full of faintly glowing stones that look like stars, warm to the touch, with sharp tips that are stained an unsightly red.

##

'star-tear disease.' the doctor tells juyeon and his manager matter-of-factly. 'it's exactly what it sounds like. the cause is--' the doctor looks tentatively at the manager, before turning back to juyeon and continuing, 'intense emotional trauma. the most common __ that provoke the disease are relationship troubles... like unrequited love. if left to fester, the disease will eventually cause the infected to go blind.'

juyeon doesn't know if white noise is a side-effect of the disease, but suddenly he can't hear or feel anything. stuck in time. alone in his silence.

'the only known cure is for the individual that is the cause of your emotional turmoil to consume the stars you've produced,' the doctor continues. 'of course, this comes with its own side-effects- you're essentially being told to eat shards of glass!'

// manager asks juyeon who it is for formalities sake, but he really didn't need to. when they get home, chanhee's sitting at the dining table already with juyeon's bowl of star tears in front of him. the first thing he does is apologize, because chanhee's been in love with juyeon for so long it's become so normal to him, he never could have imagined that juyeon could feel so strongly, not just the same, but that a gentle slip up on chanhee's part could change juyeon's life so much...

they tell him about the cure. chanhee understands. but the manager is against it; he says that the side effects are too risky for someone like chanhee, who is their main vocal. they won't let it happen, but they need chanhee and juyeon to figure things out between each other so that juyeon's tears can slow down.

so chanhee begins to spend his nights beside juyeon, first in the living room, in each other's comfort, until eventually they're resting in each others' beds, and when juyeon's tears fall, chanhee takes them between his teeth and scrapes at them slowly, getting used to the warmth in his mouth and around him (with juyeon's arms wrapped tight around his waist, pressing stars that grow smaller and smaller with each passing day into the mattress between them), leaving butterfly kisses in the shell of juyeon's ear and the crown of his head as juyeon noses the crook of his neck, and they're in love, they can't help it anymore.

but the tears continue to fall, quietly, smaller and smaller, until they're but the size of shell fragments that are crushed between the sand, embedded in their skin when they wake in the mornings.

finally, the day comes where the boyz decides to come to a quiet end. they end triumphantly, with awards and dozens of albums strapped to their backs, hands held tightly, a family unlike anything the world has ever seen. and juyeon takes his stars, collected over years in years in jars kept under his bed, and pulverises them all into the finest stardust he can, before taking chanhee's hand in his own and gently presses his lips to his knuckles, to the tips of his fingers, onto his palm, before slipping the glass of stardust into their place.

he watches waves of gold disappear through a pair of lips he knows far too well, and wishes on a star for a miracle.

##

• inspired by my own tweet & the olive episode: junewric cafe au where they all come together to run diff aspects of the cafe; juyeon bakes, eric comes up w the creative sweets concepts that gets them to go viral, and chanhee is the cafe manager and barista.

the way it began sounds simple in telling, but all of the little intricacies that brought these three together were all a bit uncanny. it starts off with chanhee, whose mind is drifting to places during a lecture. he stares listlessly out of the hall windows, his chin heavy on his palm as he taps one, two, three, inching closer to the end of class. /i'm craving something sweet right now,/ he thinks to himself.

"what should i do?" he asks younghoon. it isn't a serious question, but when younghoon responds cheekily, "chanhee you're always craving sweets. at this point, you might as well just make your own dessert cafe," an idea stirs, and the idea is sown in soil.

- so chanhee starts brainstorming ways to set up his own bakery. he has a decent amount of money but it's NOWHERE near enough... no worries tho because younghoon is his rich best friend and decides to be his benefactor/very first investor

• my junew adorable home au!

in this sweet lil world, chanhee is an executive editor to a mens magazine in korea (think: another man mag, korea) that works from home. juyeon is in charge of interpretation as well as management for a japanese company that has a strong presence in korea (not really sure of what sect this company is in, but i'm thinking either sports or sustainability).

juyeon and new have been married for a year and a half at this point; prior to that, they had been dating for almost five years, before juyeon got on one knee during a getaway to venice (chanhee had been in milano covering men's fashion week f/w, and in a bout of rare occurrences, juyeon was able to take a week off of work). undoubtedly, chanhee had said yes. their life as a couple hasn't been easy, having had to go through a number of trials, bouts of anxiety (mostly on juyeon's part), and long periods of separation (about a year after they had officially gotten together, in their last year of university, juyeon was whisked off to osaka to train for his new job. he was stuck there for about 3 months, and once he was knee-deep into the job, he went back and forth between incheon, gimpo, and kansai for the next two years), and so it made all the sense in the world to stay together, knowing that they had gone through and successfully resolved so much ("what's a lifetime of trouble, when it's with you?" chanhee had said into juyeon's shoulder, pressed tight against his chest. his rose-gold hair fluttered in the late february wind, melting into the sky behind them as twilight covered the city in orangey-purples and the speckle of distant stars).

in this au, chanhee studied marketing in mass communications with a minor in art history (that's where he meets kevin, who came to seoul for a brief exchange program, and was considering a fullbright), while juyeon double-majored in entrepreneurship and japanese (fun fact: he actually got into the university's japanese program with a scholarship, and they allowed him to double-major so long as he completed an honors thesis focused on an aspect of japanese business practises). how did they meet? younghoon, who was a fellow marketing major and quickly became a best friend to chanhee, took entrepreneurship as a minor. one day, sometime during late freshman year, they all joined together (changmin, younghoon, chanhee, juyeon, sangyeon, jaehyun, and haknyeon, who is a leap year student) for drinks, beef, and karaoke, and while they both were 'interested' in each other (i.e thought the other was attractive), there wasn't anything like an immediate attraction, nothing like love at first sight.

instead, their love grew naturally; surprise encounters on campus, in the library (where they'd end up studying together, and juy's heart would flutter whenever chanhee leaned over and asked for juy's opinion on something in his class ('i know this isn't your realm of expertise, but i value diverse opinions'), and chanhee would feel like his clothes were much too warm whenever juyeon sat close to him, their arms pressed up against each other, or whenever the toes of their shoes knocked against e/o under the booths they'd picked. things continued, they chose to see each other outside of school frequently (they'd often go to bookstores and cafes together, exchanging recommendations and sharing older reads) and eventually, one day, chanhee leaned in to kiss juyeon. the rest is history! or, well, their story.

• junew regency au

wherein

cch is the son of the royal court arithmetic, and having completed his studies in a large, bustling kingdom to the far north, has returned home to help his father with his tasks (it isnt easy when the kim family, rulers of a kingdom in the plainlays, have been met with naught but prosperity since they expanded trade routes, shipping their wheat and whey across vast expanses of land and sea, and delivering their famous baked goods to neighbouring kingdoms.) years ago, he fell in love at first sight with juyeon while visiting home for a short while.

ljy is the uptight at first but actually kind and quite naïve second son of the lee family (the first is jaehyun, his cousin), historically known for being one of the kim family’s strongest, most reliable and trustworthy merchant partners, responsible for establishing routes across the continent and beyond. at first he is suspicious of chanhee, who shows up after a long absence abroad, and after witnessing the strong bond between chanhee and younghoon (the former who touches the prince and speaks informalities that no sane person would ever *dare* to do in front of a member of the royal family!), assumes that ch is trying to get in the way of yh assuming the throne in the future.

(truth be told, juyeon is just paranoid, and maybe a little jealous, for while he knows that younghoon is not one that strictly adheres to the archaic practices that he himself, and nobles such as jaehyun and juyeon have been raised upon, he can't imagine anyone treating younghoon with such aloofness in the way chanhee does, nor does he recall ever making younghoon smile or laugh the way chanhee has. he's just... really protective of his prince... and while he assumes that at first he's jealous of all of chanhee's accomplishments [later, when he and chanhee are much closer, and more in-tune with one-another, chanhee shakes his head, pats juyeon's cheek lightly then keeps his hand there, and says that all accomplishments, no matter how meager, are worthy of one's own pride] he later realizes that things might be a little different-- and a lot more complicated.)

kyh is the young prince of the kingdom of the central plainlays, ruled by the kim family, known as a benevolent and highly filial son. he loves his parents dearly, and rumours have it that he bakes a mean loaf. chanhee and juyeon are both his childhood friends, but the circumstances of their friendships are different. chanhee, who lived in the palace from an early age, was an ever-accessible friend to younghoon until he departed promptly for his studies at the young age of 15 (for reference, he returns to the palace when he's 21). chanhee was only a year younger than younghoon, but that mattered naught to the young prince. he became a friend that younghoon pouted for so that he wouldn't be a lone student during private tutoring sessions on his princely duties (geography of distant kingdoms, and topography of the plainlays; etiquette; foreign languages; ballroom dancing, to name a few) and because of the well-lived reputation of the arithmetic and his wife, the king and queen barely bat an eye at this particular request from their son, for it was rare that the prince requested anything at all.

meanwhile, his friendship with juyeon and jaehyun is established as soon as the two young lords arrive to his palace while all boys are at the age of thirteen (it's only a couple weeks after juyeon's birthday, and the path to the royal palace is still littered with frost that crunches under the hooves of the small mare he rides upon, looking around at the forests surrounding them, all dressed in white, with wonder in his eyes. it's not a common sight for juyeon's branch of the family, who live right by the coast at the southernmost point of where the kim family's rule reaches. his cousin on the other hand, who hails from the northernmost parts of the kingdom, sees sights like this for 80% of the year.) when they arrive, juyeon is nervous, set stiff under the observant eye of his father & his uncles. sweat trickles down the back of his neck with each interaction with the royal family, unfamiliarly more nervewracking than the casual meetings or encounters with nobles of his stature he was used to, where he wouldn't even blink an eye when considering his decorum. then younghoon appears; sweet younghoon with his bright smile and cool voice, whose friendly demeanor broke down the strictly placed barriers of expectation between the three boys, eventually leading to a genuine friendship, brotherhood, and partnership that juyeon knows will last a lifetime.

//first meetings. SIDE A (juyeon) [these stories take place on the same day! LOL]

this is juyeon lee; dressed in his naval junior captain’s uniform, a crisp white jacket with silver buttons adorning his front in rows of two, lining the broad of his chest w the jacket splits to its tail, which ends right behind his knees. its the most formal thing he's ever worn to the palace, but only rightfully so as it’s his first time visiting since adopting the title-- his very first. that doesn’t mean to say that it’s comfortable for him in any way; the hyungs he’d met growing up in the palace halls for a couple months each year were now his seniors, staring at him across meeting halls with cold, focused eyes that tied unfamiliar knots of discomfort in the depths of his stomach.

when their meeting is dismissed for a decently long intermission, juyeon politely waits for his superiors in the fleet & the representatives from the palace to file out of the room before bolting for the palace gardens located at the west of the building, no more than a few long strides from the halls in which their meetings are taking place, but just unfamiliar enough to those in attendance that they wouldn't think of following his footsteps, would much rather be caught up in paltry conversations amongst each other.

he finally lets himself breathe when surrounded by lush green, a comforting canopy of cloud-speckled blue sky stretched above his head. he loosens his coat, much too warm for the tail end of spring, and runs a hand through his hair. juyeon’s about five or so minutes into his stroll when he spots him;

two legs in pale beige trousers that are rolled up just shy of a pair of ankles, from which sprout worn brown boots with smooth soles and leather patched with creases and dark spots. the boy’s shirt, a similarly muted colour made of tweed and easily a size too big for him, billows in the wind as he sleeps while leaned against a young oak tree, barely grown to size but large enough to shelter from the warmth of a clear sky. an abacus rests askew on one of his knees; on his other side, a notebook lies abandoned, kissed only by his fingertips with pages that stir quietly in the wind.

he’s dressed so simple that at a first glance, one might even mistake the boy for a palace servant that scurried away from his official duties. however, at closer inspection, one would see the set of thin gold chains wrapped delicately around his waist, and glistening earrings that hang off of his ears, long and elegant and embellished by a perfectly round pearl smaller than the size of a chocolate chip. and it would be wrong to forego mentioning his beauty, with warm brown hair that framed his cheruby face to perfection, and skin as blemish-less as the surface of a still pool.

the abacus is an easy giveaway; juyeon has stumbled upon choi chanhee, the court arithmetic’s prodigal son, sent away by his father as per the wishes of the royal family to ensure his development into the wise and logical— and appropriate— successor to his father’s legacy. juyeon has heard stories about him from younghoon, of how their innocent childhood as friends ended promptly when chanhee had left for a kingdom in the Far North to pursue his studies at the cusp of their eighth year as school attendants. he heard stories of chanhee’s quiet yet bold demeanor, how despite his sleight physique and pretty face, he was unafraid to speak his mind, and more confident in his own beliefs than anyone.

but what juyeon had not expected was the truth behind the stories of chanhee’s beauty; soft and delicate, like petals dressed in morning dew after a quiet shower in springtime. juyeon's curiosity gets the better of him and he finds himself stopped in his tracks, heartbeat ringing loud in his ears. he doesn't know to blame his shortness of breath on the nervousness he felt in the meeting hall, or the unexpectedly suffocating hold his ceremonial uniform has on him. he fears the last supposition that blooms in his mind, a side of his human nature that he is not prepared to face just yet.

so why does he find himself crouched by chanhee’s resting body anyways? juyeon silently observes the quiet rise and fall of his chest, the way the delicate folds of his shirt grow deep then shallow again with each exhale. the way the grass and flowers he sleeps upon seem to gently embrace him, breathing as he does, curling into his body as if to form a blanket over his body while he rests.

juyeon is so entranced by his discovery that he loses focus on his surroundings, his foot knocking suddenly against the abacus by chanhee’s side, shocking him back to reality once he realizes his face is inches away from the other's. he stumbles back to his feet, fretting with the buttons lining his chest although he’s surely warmer than he was when this walk began. his eyes dart back to chanhee, looking for a sign of consciousness thanks to his blunder. juyeon’s so caught up in the fear of being discovered that he almost missed the distant deep thrum of a gong, meant to summon all attendees back to the meeting hall.

juyeon smooths down his hair, slightly strewn about by the wind, then his uniform, checking quickly for any inconspicuous stains he may have reared when sitting near the ground.

he starts towards the palace, keeping the secret of his first encounter with choi chanhee locked in his memories. he’s almost made it back to the palace when chanhee rouses from his sleep, opening his eyes to the sight of a broad stranger dressed in a white tailcoat growing further in the distance, the sun bouncing rays off of the intricate silver lining on his back, leaving glittering stars in his wake.

SIDE B (chanhee)

chanhee knows he's arrived early for their lesson, but he never meant to interrupt something.

he turns the knob leading to the prince's study, stopping immediately in his tracks when he hears voices coming from the room below. he stands at the top of the stairs for a moment, contemplating what to do next, before his curiosity kicks in, and he finds himself leaning against the wall to see who younghoon's guests are.

when he sharpens his ears, chanhee discovers that the king, too, is present in the room. he cautiously moves down a step, then another, in hopes of getting a better look at the palace visitors, when he spots two boys, dressed in white naval officer uniforms, stood with their backs to the door so that chanhee is only able to see their side profiles. they're of similar heights-- <i>tall</i>, chanhee muses-- with faces that registered as barely older than himself or younghoon. they listened attentively as the king spoke, nodding along with his words, hands clasped politely behind their backs. there was another man standing with them, older and bearded; mayhaps one of their fathers? the two boys looked related, but couldn't have been brothers. chanhee knows this; one of the boys has gentler eyes, his skin and lips pale. he smiles gently, and when he laughs, the skin framing his eyes crinkles like folds in silk.

but it's the one that's stood closest to the door that chanhee can't seem to draw his eyes away from. the other boy is a little more rigid, with focused eyes and slightly parted lips that laugh when necessary but settle almost immediately, as though he is only able to focus on one thing at a time. he's more silent than the other, who makes short comments whenever the king, prince younghoon, or their older companion say anything that requires their attention. his dark hair settles over his face like ocean waves; the subtle tan of his skin contrasting beautifully against the white of his uniform. warmth suddenly blooms in his chest; chanhee swallows, and violently shakes his head to clear his wandering thoughts on the mysterious, handsome lord standing in the room below.

"we're happy to see that jaehyun and juyeon have grown into men of great accomplishments in such a short time. why, you're barely past the age of 20 and have already seen so much of the world!" the king's voice booms.

younghoon agrees, "without your families' help, our mercantile exports would be far less prosperous than they are today. thank you, dear friends."

the older bearded gentleman laughs warmly. "young highness, is it because of your father's presence that you have suddenly began speaking with his voice, as well? relax, my prince. we are friends indeed. isn't that right, son?"

the boy in the middle-- with gentle eyes-- nods. "your highness, you have known us since we were barely men. it's the greatest honour we can hold, to be helpful to such a dear friend. on that note, however, juyeon and i have been inspecting these routes to the west..."

chanhee knows when he's overstayed his welcome; he finds his way up the steps without turning his body, but not before taking one last look at the tanned stranger-- nearly jumping right out of his skin when he finds one eye staring back at him, his head turned slightly in chanhee's direction. he escapes quickly, quietly, ignoring the loud thrum in his chest, ignoring the heat that seeps into his ears.

later that day, when younghoon and chanhee are sat in the study waiting to begin their lesson, chanhee clears his throat, and builds up the courage to ask about the dark-haired stranger that hasn't left his memory for the past two hours.

"so, uh. i heard the palace had guests today?"

younghoon cocks an eyebrow, before nonchalantly responding, "correct, though i can't say the palace considers them guests anymore. they're the two merchant lords that would stay over for three months a year, usually while you were gone. why? has their visit made you curious?"

the prince's voice is teasing, but only because he knows his dear childhood friend doesn't bring up things without purpose. chanhee scoffs, lifting his shoulders in false-exasperation.

"it's not like that! i was simply... curious of the company you kept while i was away. am i not allowed to be concerned for you, your highness?"

younghoon laughed, "alright, alright! i'm just teasing, chanhee. thank you for your concern." the prince dramatically waved one hand in the air in a gesture of acknowledgement. the conversation faded away, turned into something else, but a short while after their afternoon lesson had ended, chanhee fell silent, and:

"the young lord, the one named juyeon. is... is he kind?"

younghoon watches as the high points of chanhee's cheeks flush a light pink as he refuses to meet his eyes, waiting with bated breaths for younghoon's answer. his lips quirk upwards at the unfamiliar sight of a flustered chanhee, even more so that he's asking about someone he's interested in.

"juyeon is... hardworking, incredibly focused, and while he may seem cold at first, 'unkind' is a far cry from any word i would use to describe him."

when chanhee finally meets his eye, lips pursed and hesitant, younghoon smiles, pats his head, and lifts himself out of his seat. "i've no reason to lie to you, chanhee. not even to assuage an aching heart."

chanhee pauses for a moment, then clears his throat quietly, standing with younghoon and gathering his materials, tucking them in his napsack in silence. finally, he says "... i see."

(after that day, chanhee never brings up juyeon on his own. instead, younghoon comes to him at random times-- in the garden as he enjoys an afternoon snack in chanhee's company; while saddling horses in the stable; in-between tutoring sessions; lingering in hallways during important events-- and whispers small anecdotes about the merchant lord completely out of the blue. "juyeon was here last week; he really enjoys sponge cake" "he collects marbles that he finds on the beach" "his favourite food is warm pork stew" "he likes the scent of lemon." whenever this happens, the prince is only rewarded with an affronted look, a light (but purposeful) whack on the upper arm, or any assortment and combination of the two.)

by the end of it, chanhee is very sure he knows much more than juyeon does, ever will, about himself. he takes these facts with him and locks them in his heart, unlocking them from time-to-time when he's allowed to let his mind wander between studies in the far north.

///

• for context, younghoon's study stretches two stories high, so there is a flight of stairs that leads down into the room from where the entrance is. that is how i imagined this scene! also, after chanhee returns from his studies, he continues to join the prince in his own. to chanhee, there is always more to learn about the world.
• junew (renai prism au) | i'll colour you mine

and you'd think he'd be upset, or jealous, because juyeon has everything chanhee doesn't. he's handsome, class president, captain of the basketball team, and ranks in the top five of the grade every exam season /all at once/. but chanhee sees in colours, and juyeon's green-- a lush, translucent emerald, deep enough to dive into-- is the most beautiful thing hes ever seen.

nothing could make him turn away.

-----

plot: when he's five years old and on a stroll with his mother, chanhee tells one of the neighbours that she's submerged in a 'murky, brown' aura and asks her if there's something wrong with the conversation they're having. by the look on her face when it fell (and chanhee may have been five, but he was cognizant, for a five year old, at least) perhaps he should not have said something after all. appalled by chanhee's behaviour, rumors begin sprouting about how mrs. choi doesn't know how to raise her son.

as years passed, and he began to understand what the colours meant, he chose to keep quiet, keeping this "superpower" to himself so that he could do no more harm by reading those around him too well. and maybe it was difficult, but with time, chanhee absorbed the emotions around him before easily spitting them out, learning how to navigate himself around others whose faces may have read one thing but auras may have screamed otherwise. he makes friends easily, meets changmin and sunwoo and kevin. he keeps himself in check, making sure to stay pleasant (it's not too hard, he's incapable of being snarky, he's nothing like jaehyun) for the sake of the people around him. he wants to make his mother proud; he gets along well with his hyung. he isn't the best student, but he does well in school-- math is his top subject, and he passes with flying colours in every exam-- and he involves himself in minimal extracurriculars, choosing instead to adopt a part-time job at a cafe that exudes an aura that tends to not only his needs, but the patrons that inhabit it.

chanhee has always known of juyeon, as has everyone-- he's the school's shining star, a beacon of light seen from miles away by anyone in his vicinity. but chanhee sees him differently; a brilliant emerald green, that seems to shine almost inhumanely, slightly translucent and seemingly never-changing. he'd be lying if he said that looking at juyeon wasn't a treat-- he calls him 'eye candy' as a joke, for reasons his friends think they understand (though really, they don't, and maybe never will). but when changmin asks chanhee to take his place at a student council meeting, chanhee sees juyeon's colours change for the first time, and it's as soon as their eyes meet.

it takes two stand-ins on changmin's behalf to finally muster up the courage to ask juyeon what's up, why he keeps rebutting chanhee's every word. 'if you have an issue with me, you can say it to my face and we can talk it out. don't act as if you know what i'm thinking...!'

ideas: sports, chanhee's older bro "hyung, what do you do when you can't figure out if someone you really care about likes you or hates you" "chanhee-ya you're in high school", the tattoo & blonde hair ("i want everyone to see me for a colour, even if it isn't the way i see them"), hello kitty, class overnight excursions and first confessions under the stars, juyeon's basketball shorts, 'you think you know so much about others because you can see their colours but have you ever thought of your own? chanhee, i may not have this superpower of yours, but i bet that your colour is just as beautiful as you say mine is. and i know i'm not the only one that feels this way. if it means anything, you're the most beautiful colour i've ever seen.'

/excerpts

they're sitting in the library, opposite each other. chanhee has his textbooks open up before him, glasses perched on his nosebridge, and is gnawing at his bottom lip as he tries to solve a problem. juyeon, resting his chin in his hand, tilts his head and smiles as he watches chanhee, learns his habits and quirks. the way he rubs at the space between his eyes using the knobs of his fingers, the way he picks at the dry skin on his lips before stopping himself, licking away his wounds. he can't stop the chuckle that escapes his lips, and chanhee looks up at him almost immediately.

"what?"

"nothing. just thinking about something." chanhee sets down his pencil and folds his arms on the desk table, leaning towards juyeon.

"tell me. it has to do with me, doesn't it?"

"i don't know, choi chanhee, does the world revolve around you?" juyeon quips, and lets out a quiet chuckle when chanhee's jaw drops open in an act of false offense.

/tbc...

• take the dive ; junew

juyeon finds himself in jeonju for the summer, and meets a boy with translucent hair and paper skin and a voice like wine.

“the sun, dipping under the horizon bringing in the summer nights we’d quietly sit and watch upon that were just as short as the time we spent together.”

yang da il, wendy “one summer”

jeonju is quiet, and yet, not at all. the wind seems to whisper as it passes through the grooves of the countless giwa that line its old streets, blowing strands of his hair into juyeon’s eyes as he treks towards his new home for the summer. smartphone in hand, he navigates the maze-like twists and turns of the neighbourhood until he happens upon a large wooden gate, with little to show for itself except for a small carving at the centre of each door that poses as a window into the courtyard it conceals from the street.

~

ideas: younghoon the hanok’s caretaker’s son, who also studies in seoul, is surprisingly his age; chanhee, who first catches juyeon’s eye in a bookstore, who awkwardly scrambles away immediately after; three random encounters later-- juyeon realises, jeonju is much smaller than it seems-- chanhee asks ‘aren’t you from seoul? why would you ever come here?’ ; chanhee, drunk on makgeolli, stumbles his way into juyeon’s guestroom while mumbling nonsense in satoori, tucks himself into the futon spread onto the floor, and juyeon can’t help but let him take it, slides warily into the space behind him, and wakes up with his legs tangled in chanhee’s and an arm around his waist ; the ocean is two hours away by train: they board a train-car that rustles as it runs along the old tracks that lead towards the beach: when the horizon comes into view, chanhee stumbles onto his knees, fogging up the glass between them and the outside world as they approach the expanse of blue ; sinking his toes into the sand, waves pushing and pulling against their ankles, the sun having just set, leaving the sky a warm purple, and chanhee turns to juyeon, looks him dead in the eye, and reaches behind his neck, pulling him into a kiss as the sky darkens, darkens, and leaves them bathed in dark blue.

~

there’s no finality, no “i’ll see you again,” or “please come visit”. chanhee doesn’t follow him onto the train platform, instead, stands outside, hands clasped behind his back, tongue bitten behind closed teeth in hopes that it’ll hide his disappointment. juyeon smirks when he notices that chanhee’s lips are still rosy from earlier that morning, when they woke up and all chanhee could do was climb over him and kiss, suck, tug, until the clock struck nine-thirty and it was time to leave.

juyeon smiles apologetically when chanhee opens his mouth to say something, then closes it, then does it again. rinse and repeat, as it has been for the past thirty minutes since they bid farewell to younghoon’s father, walking lazily through the summer haze towards the train station that would take juyeon back to seoul. he doesn’t want to force him to say anything, as much as his feels like his heartstrings are tugging, nagging at him, for an answer. juyeon’s in the exact same place: he just doesn’t know what to say. he's about to turn to leave, say "thank you" (thank you, but for what? for an unforgettable summer fling. for setting me back on track. for making this worthwhile), but as he's about to turn away, chanhee's grasp finds the end of his shirt, and tugs, his eyes clenched shut.

“at first i think i was in love with the thought of you, of everything you came from, but i. somewhere along the way, i…

i fell in love with everything you are.” chanhee’s eyes flutter open, not realizing they were shut in the first place, and all he’s met with are juyeon’s eyes, deep and quiet like the ocean they stood in the first time they kissed, and chanhee feels a strong arm wrap around his waist, a hand resting against his nape, as he’s pulled in for a hug (because juyeon isn’t brave enough for kisses in public, not yet, and not for awhile).

juyeon exhales shakily into his hair, doesn't know what to say, doesn't think he's ready to commit to saying anything just yet. but he at least tells him what he'd planned to from the very beginning.

/

• junew - text me back drabble/prompt

(for ref: https://youtu.be/qAUD2I9x3Ag?t=2m17s https://youtu.be/OIVljZNtZyg)

being onstage always comes with the best brand of adrenaline rushing through juyeon's veins. the weather today wasn't particularly scalding, allowing him to enjoy the multi-layered ensemble on his body much more than he would on any other summer day. the song is building up, his heartbeat pounding along with the bass that hit under his soles, sweat glistening down the sides of his face. and then the tension breaks, and he relaxes into the choreography as younghoon takes centre stage during the bridge. he feels a shift in movement behind his body; chanhee, dressed in red and a couple more layers than himself, sweating spectacularly, but looking so good despite it all. it's kind of incredible, how someone can maintain that level of physical perfection regardless of how harrowing the choreography, how scalding the sun that beats down on them is.

for some reason, juyeon is always drawn to chanhee's figure as they dance. he's pretty, and nice to observe for a couple of occasions: for instance, to snap himself out of being overly expressive onstage (chanhee is particularly good at holding a focused face while performing), or to spot mistakes in his dance moves that juyeon can help him finesse later on. as sunwoo's rap approaches, juyeon prepares himself for his favourite section of the song of all.

he never expects chanhee to look right back at him, sharp gaze staring straight into his eyes. not today, especially, since they'd performed this song so many times and it had never happened. it catches juyeon slightly-- pleasantly-- off-guard, and when the corners of chanhee's charismatic smile twitch in reverence of the event, juyeon can't help but allow his body to be taken over by the music. he dances, dances, with pride and a smile on his face, clueless of the lingering heat that had shot through his body as soon as chanhee met his gaze, until the song is over, and they're making their way back to the green room.

a hand drags against juyeon's forearm, and he's hopeful for a moment before he turns and sees changmin at his side, his contact with juyeons arm a mere obstacle in his path towards sangyeon and hyunjae, who are lingering at the front of the group.

"why do you always look at me when we perform 'text me back'?" a voice shocks him from behind. juyeon whips around, and he's almost forehead-to-forehead with chanhee, whose cheeks are still pink and chest is still heaving from coming offstage.

"i, uh--" juyeon stumbles slightly, tripping over his own feet and chanhee laughs. well, okay, maybe this would be harder to explain than he initially thought...

"you just happen to be in my line of sight during that part of the song, it isn't on purpose..." juyeon sniffs, falling into line with chanhee as the boys make their way to their dressing room. they slow down until they're flanking the group of eleven, giving themselves space to speak with each other in hushed tones.

chanhee looks at him knowingly, lifting an eyebrow and humming as he pouts ever so slightly. "uh-huh, right. so younghoon, changmin, and jacob aren't on standby on our side of the stage, are they."

"what i mean is..." juyeon rubs the back of his neck and fixes his gaze to the ceiling as they walk forward, silently praying that he doesn't walk into anyone or anything. he feels chanhee's eyes still on him, and tries not to burn under his gaze. "i... you're... really pretty, so--"

chanhee bursts out into laughter at that moment, shocking juyeon and the couple of members that are lingering towards their end of the group. "seriously?!" he whacks juyeon on the shoulder playfully, and juyeon reaches up to shield the rest of his arm from chanhee's wrath.

"lee juyeon, coming from you... that's really funny, you know."

"i'm not kidding! you're seriously..." juyeon clears his throat, waiting until he's sure that no one is listening in on their conversation after chanhee's exclamation to continue.

"you just help me stay focused. i like sharing my fun with people on-stage with me... so it made me happy when you looked back."

god, what is he, in middle school? this was the cheapest confession that juyeon's ever come up with-- though he isn't going to lie, his resume of a total of 2 confessions doesn't cause for much competition. he's sure, however, that he pales in comparison to any of chanhee's suitors. wait, why is he thinking about it like that anyway?!

"for the most part, i," chanhee starts, before taking a deep breath, then his voice goes soft, and juyeon catches the smile on his face. "was pretty flustered when i first noticed your gaze on me. this isn't the first time."

no, it's not, juyeon cringes in his head. it's more like every time they perform the song, even in the practise room-- though he tries to tone the intensity of his gaze down there, since chanhee would probably notice in the mirror.

"er, something like that."

chanhee scoffs. "yeah, well... it's not easy performing well when you've got a handsome guy staring you down for half the performance."

"it's only for, like, three seconds!!" juyeon exclaims.

"not counting the amount of time i'm thinking about you, it isn't--" as soon as the words leave chanhee's mouth, he bites his bottom lip, shuts up and turns his head so that it's facing the direct opposite of juyeon, who is definitely, without a doubt, staring at him with a gaping mouth.

"what?"

"what?" chanhee echoes, the red in his cheeks spreading like ink on paper until it reaches the tips of his ears. he bites his bottom lip, clenches his fists, and is about to make a break for it when he feels a strong hand at his wrist, sending a shudder throughout his body. the rest of the members have all gone ahead, chanhee and juyeon so busied with their mismatched conversation that they failed to notice their strides growing shorter and shorter, pulling them further and further behind.

• meta, meta, maetamong; just general rambling about junew...

what draws chanhee to juyeon despite them not necessarily being the most sychronized members of the group? a part of it is because chanhee really admires juyeon, to such a high level-- not that he aspires to be him, but in the same way chanhee honed his own skill in singing, juyeon did the same for dance. in fact, there are lots of times where chanhee feels like juyeon has surpassed his pace. and yet, there are still moments in time when chanhee feels like he can dote on/care for/protect or guide juyeon, who has a surprisingly excitable and naive side (the two kind of come in-hand). chanhee feels like there still exist some moments where he can /care/ for juyeon, watch him and be proud and not just be doted on 24/7 himself-- which is often the case. he finds solace in the fact that somebody he looks up to (in a way) so much can be the same person he coddles, dotes on and scolds... and for the most part, juyeon understands that side of chanhee, receives him with open arms, knows himself that there is someone like chanhee to rely on.