I am in the process of evaluating what scholarships and college programs I should take next year.  

I have three options: education (secondary; major in English), education (secondary; major in biology or physics), and education (secondary; major in mathematics).

  For scholarships, I can apply for DOST, SM Foundation, and my preferred university's offered ones.

  For DOST and SM Foundation (I think), I am to maintain a grade of 85% and above for each unit—which is less riskier. For my preferred university, I am to maintain a grade of 90% and above for each unit—which is attainable but may be risky.

  If I am to be accepted in the DOST Scholarship, I would have to take a science-related program—which would be biology or physics. Additionally, I would be able to directly teach in a public school without passing the board exam, and my starting salary would be around the same amount as the ones in Teacher III. 

  I am quite confident that I can pass this program; however, my worry lies with my passion within this field. I am aware that while I do excel in these fields, I am scared that once I start teaching, I would not be a great provider of knowledge due to my lack of passion. Yes, the salary is quite high for starters, but is that the only basis for one's way of choosing a career path? Moreover, I have this dreadful thought that I may feel a sense of burnout as I do not find enjoyment in these fields. However, when I was learning about biology and physics in my earlier years, I found them quite enjoyable. I remember learning about force and calculating the energy during my 8th grade. I also remember the enjoyment I felt when we were studying biology and all the evolution others have theorized. The thing I worry about most in taking any of the two science-related programs is that I may fail and lose my scholarship grants once I feel the sense of passion leave me. I might realize very late that I am not fond of teaching and learning science.

  I find mathematics enticing during my 10th grade. During this time, I was able to realize my potential in this field and the excitement it gave me when I was able to finish an activity without relying on online resources. I was able to further sharpen my skills in these fields during my 11th grade. I became very confident with my ability, which helped me to become fully independent and learn to ask questions without feeling stupid. The idea that pulls me away from this program is that I hate trigonometry and business math. Additionally, I have a hard time memorizing the solving process, which makes me feel unfit for the role of an educator in mathematics.

  Teaching in the English Department had become the permanent path for me. In this field, I will be able to analyze, judge, and interpret many works—which I am quite fond of and great at. I want to learn the art of everything related to English. If I take this program, I am still able to get into my preferred university, where many English teachers from my school studied, and they were excellent ones. I may also apply for scholarships within the university and at the SM Foundation. If I apply to the university, I am confident that I can maintain a grade of 90% in each unit. If I apply to SM Foundation, I am also confident and feel that this would benefit me better as the grade to be maintained is lower than 90%. This would reduce the pressure that I may feel throughout my college years. Additionally, if I apply for the SM Foundation, I may be offered exclusive jobs from their corporation after I graduate. As an English major, I may become their scriptwriter and such. To top it all off, I am confident that I will provide my students great knowledge in this field.

  I am taking my 12-day Christmas break to think my decisions through so as to avoid regretting them in the future. In the time being, I am leaning more toward applying for SM Foundation Scholarships and entering my preferred university as an English major.  12/20/24 | 07:52 p.m. | Friday