• I'm tired alright, I just wanna rest, I don't wanna have to deal with people in my life anymore
• People don't really care and if they care now in a few months they won't so meh
• Look, at least a miracle occurs in my life making it magically better this is happening
• The real reason I don't seek professional help is because my mom won't spend her money on me on that subject. Literally my mom hates psychologists and she doesn't in believe them.

Update: I am currently doing a therapy, but life has been hell for me cause my mom still doesn't agree

• Does my family knows? I've always wanted to kill myself since I was a kid. Mom knows but she doesn't care, she thinks this is a way to attack her. My sister knows but she is too busy caring for her own problems. My brother doesn't know neither my dad.
• Does my friends knows? yeah they do. do they care? no i don't think so, if they do they don't care enough and that's something I can't force them to do
• Am i going to break promises i made to lotus, kyle, meg, lily, arthur, alone and vitor? probably. One day. When they don't care anymore
• Please just let me fucking rest I have enough traumatizing memories that won't go away and I have too much doubt and fear just let me be at peace
• I can't believe I let myself love and care for another person, all I can think about is why did I bring my hell for another one? I know I'm unwanted and I'm an awful person, why do I keep doing this
• I'm truly sorry if I ever entered your life, unfortunately there's no cure for being me, and I was born broken, I will die broken. I tried to fix myself​ over and over again, but in the end, I'm just an ugly mug that has been glued together way too many times, I just need to go away and you need to let me go.