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Divorced geeky mom * I cook & clean, but not for you * I wear heels and lipstick, but would rather be barefoot & no makeup * My hair is longer than you think * Tequila will make my clothes fall off

Carol follows:
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IMPORTANT (PLEASE READ THIS NOTICE)
tips
  • All the hotel key cards you’ve brought home with you
  • The doilies crocheted 35 years ago that got handed down to you
  • CD’s you haven’t listened to in three years or more
  • The boxes of cassettes you’ve been meaning to transfer to CD’s
  • The bread maker
  • Your wedding dress
  • Credit card bills from 2000. and 1999, 1998, 1997...
  • The Allen wrenches from every piece of IKEA furniture you ever assembled
  • The jacket you spent way too much money on and never wore
  • Every scratching post or toy your cat doesn’t like
  • House plants you no longer love
  • The stacks of O Magazine you swear you’ll re-read
  • Every little zippy bag that came with a Clinique purchase
  • Every unopened perfume that came with a Clinique purchase
  • Leftover scrunchies in case you grow your hair long again
  • The “Cherries Jubilee” flavored lip balm that makes you nauseous
  • Every single regretful lipstick color you bought on a whim
  • Your last four cell phones and all their chargers and blue teeth
  • Single socks
  • Any glassware or dinnerware that is a “memorabilia” item from proms or sororities or sports events
  • The posters you had in your college dorm room
  • Old stereo and telephone wires. Put them in a bag, label it 'random wires', store for 1 year. Bring it out and toss.
  • The nails, screws, anchors, and cup hooks rusting in the bottom of your tool box
  • Remote controls that don’t remotely control anything you still own
  • Lamps, toasters, blenders, coffeemakers that no longer work
  • The notion that you will ever be one of those moms that makes beautiful scrapbooks
  • Old blankets and linens you keep in case you suddenly have 27 sleepover guests
  • College text books
  • Any boring decorative item that does little more than fill space
  • Vases you don’t love or use
  • Candle holders you don’t love or use
  • Picture frames you don’t love or use
  • All your class notes from college
  • The idea that you have to save every piece of your children’s artwork and school work because it might mean you don’t love them if you don’t
  • The “good silver” you don’t use that was passed down to you. Give them to a relative that will use them.
  • Old VHS movies
  • Unlabeled VHS tapes
  • The stationary bike that got even more stationary after you got it
  • The fabric pieces you’ve been collecting in case you ever become a quilter
  • Flashlights that dimly light up only after you bang them over and over on your thigh
  • Old keys that open some door somewhere in the past
  • Suitcases you don’t use
  • Old computers
  • Old stereos
  • Promotional duffel bags with ugly logos and bad acronyms stitched all over them
  • Anything that makes you say, “But I got such a good price on it!”
  • Anything that makes you say, “But I paid so much for it!”
  • Half-full cans of paint
  • Extra baby items/Old baby items
  • Record albums
  • Gifts you never liked
  • All the cross-stitch, knitting, or sewing projects you never finished
  • All the hotel soaps that you took with you
  • Old information packets you no longer need or that you can easily find on line
  • The belief that you only have to go through the de-cluttering process once and won’t ever have to do it again
aug 29 2010 ∞
aug 29 2010 +