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- i wish writing in this journal was easier,
- as it is with every sunset that i miss
- sun wearing city mask when i step outside
- golden purple , i wish i could describe it to you
may 13 2021 ∞
may 13 2021 +
- my hands aren't too pretty, they've pulled the trigger a few times - escaped bare legs shaking in the cold. in the snow they collected the rotten piss dirt, mistaken for skin when the cold shakes you ... (like that)
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- i forget about you sometimes and then you always return.
mar 5 2021 ∞
mar 5 2021 +
- an angel bite on my hand, 333 red punctures given to me in my sleep
- its a mark of good faith when the wounds aren't deep
- i see them out there every night when i'm driving home, tall like oaks
- any animal who bares their teeth is waiting for the taste of blood
- this one can drain me
mar 5 2021 ∞
mar 5 2021 +
- as you grow and experience time lapses and different eras of life you begin to see the manifestation of interests and stories that you loved as a child. music, movies, comics and books are all resources i had for putting the pieces together of what my life would be. it's like puzzle pieces. being young was a terrible time for me. i was alone a lot, i also was mad often. this is not the time to try to pry into my memories, lmao. i can't do that right now.
- what i was saying though, i do believe that every source of media i held dear to my heart encoded its way into events and the sequences of my life. perhaps it's because i subconsciously hold these stories in my head and therefor the decisions i make could loosely be based off of them.
- it's different when it comes to horror media, and tht's something i need to try an...
dec 26 2020 ∞
dec 27 2020 +
- i want to hear your voice and feel your presence again. humans are skeptical about the way i found you, i don't know how to confront the idea that i don't know who you are
- but you're with me
- and every second in those dreams, the way you smelled and tasted
- golden light shattered in daydream effects, taking place point five seconds compared to the speed of light ; altered
- i don't know if i'll ever make much sense
- we died together, i know. sometimes it seems like you're what i'm searching for and other times it feels like i have become delusional
- i search for you in other humans, not knowing what that means
- keeping a secret safe in my heart i hope to hear you breathe
dec 26 2020 ∞
dec 26 2020 +
- it feels like the woods are where we should have met
- beyond the veil and what is usually thin
- thick with undertoe
- you pressing on my chest
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- admiring hands is not your worst trait, if anything its how you disregard your capacity to feel emotion; how do you play string instruments, by the way?
- it happened again -
- the unfamiliar smells, hallucinatory and the sense of longing
- i feel like you're trying to get through to me and i can't figure it out.
dec 25 2020 ∞
dec 25 2020 +
- writing this from my castle, modern royalty has me listening to 1000 years piano cover while i sit and write by the candle
- it makes me yearn : one person, one thing, comfort in another pair of eyes.
- it's a sacrifice, a reality. a true one.
- i can't stay awake to really know.
- i would love to love, but i can't hang on.
- i'm better off alone
- ^ what i would have posted on myspace 10 years ago
- .....
- i'm a lazy mess
dec 20 2020 ∞
dec 20 2020 +
- 12/12/1212
- took a while to get back to this and im still tired
- found something in the air and held it in a bottle
- learned that anything without form cannot be trapped
- figured out that my body is all i have and my eyes will be big forever
- watching you , and we'll find ourselves
- carved
- it stayed
dec 13 2020 ∞
aug 2 2026 +
- remember red wine stains
- blood draining in the kitchen sink
- the next time you try and think
- about what you haven't done right or everything you've done wrong
- perhaps about what you couldn't save or what you could kill
- purple skin dyed from the bottle , bones poking through thin fabric
- heavy wings, it's tough to go on, you're a monster with sharp teeth and a drastic need to drink
- red wine
- coming out of the faucet sink
- poured onto your face , when you wake up in the morning, tooth brush sudden decay, you'll begin to hear voices by the end of it
- don't come running when you think of it ,
- heavy wings a need to drink , blood comin...
sep 4 2019 ∞
sep 9 2019 +
- A floating skull in front of me - big and brown. His eyes are dismissed and he's missing a few teeth. I ask if it's from old age. He doesn't laugh, instead he drops three more. Blood drips from the two bloody holes where a tooth once lived. I pick up the three teeth and I put them on my bookshelf. The skull comes once a night to my room - I know he is here when I can feel electric waves pulsating through my bones. For a long time I never registered that the feeling of him was because of his presence. He follows me and I have become used to his company. I never named him because he won't talk to me. The attachment I feel to him is that of a parent or guardian. I believe he is my guardian angel but I never told him that.
sep 15 2019 ∞
sep 18 2019 +
- when i'm asking the bartender the question about the way you kiss,
- i'm mostly meaning the feeling of the way the fork lifts
- the ghost made of streetlamp sigh
- referring to the nightstand and the single lamp light
- i want to go 80 again when the swan hits, her wings reflective of the diamonds in your wrists
may 12 2020 ∞
may 12 2020 +
- inside of your garden i found your reason
- the fountain raining blue, i crawled inside and hoped it'd seep through my skin
- the flowers blooming in winter indicate how your specter opened and closed with the seasons
- the white painted house with a screen porch, wind chimes announce that you're home, i'm home
- i'm home
dec 22 2020 ∞
dec 24 2020 +
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