- Rude, bitchy tables in general.
- If you want to hear the specials, please let me finish them all without interrupting me like 039403942032-302 times. Thanks.
- Even though I may bring your waters to set you up, that doesn't necessarily mean I'm your server. Sometimes we help other servers out that are running around, & so you won't get pissed that you're sitting for a long time without being helped. Please wait for my directions.
- Hostesses, stop being lazy.
- Don't let people just walk by without menus & sit wherever they want to sit.
- When you double, triple, or quadruple seat me in a 7-minute time span, I want to punch you in your face. Figure out the table chart & if we're on 5 or 6 girls.
- When calling in for a carry-out order, please understand that I'm taking your order IN ADDITION to however many tables I have at the restaurant. Have everything down before you call so you don't have to ask everyone what they want & I have to listen to your entire conversation.
- I'm sorry that it's not all you can eat perch. The sign doesn't say so, so why would you assume?
- Pick either French fries/broasted potatoes/mashed potatoes & stick with it. You don't need to change 18 million times.
- If you need ketchup & more tartar sauce, tell me so I can make one trip, not 1029039230 trips getting tartar, more napkins, another fork, more diet coke, etc, etc.
- I DO NOT WANT YOUR FUCKING PENNIES! You can keep those shits.
- Same goes with anything smaller than a quarter.
- If I've got money on a table, don't feel like you can "make change" with my tip on your own accord. Ask me, & I'd be glad to help you out.
- You staring at me while I walk around & help other people makes me think you need something. If you don't need anything, mind your own business & look out the window or something.
- Same goes when you're waiting for your food to come up. Starring at me while I wait on the front lines isn't going to make it happen any faster.
- If I come over to your table to wait on you, please don't act like you've never been to a restaurant ever, in your life. The surprised look on your face & inability to answer me is annoying. Especially when I've waited on your 2090493043 times.
- If we've got a full house, & you see me running around to 5 different tables, now is not the time to have a conversation with me about your dog's new chew toy. I'll come chat with you when I have the time.
- If I do a good job, please tip me accordingly. Don't be stingy.
- Snapping your fingers or shouting "Hey girl" or even my name does NOT make me want to help you. Where are your manners?
- Please don't let your children order. I can't hear their mumbling & they take for-freaking-ever.
- If you're with a large party, please make sure everyone else is ready before you start to order. I don't want to stand at your table for 15 minutes waiting for those not ready to look through the menu.
- Also, don't pretend like you're ready when you're not really not. I will give you time to look at the menu & see what looks good. & I WILL come back, I promise.
- I know accidents happen, but spilling liquids is one of the most annoying things ever.
- When I tell you the sides we have for the night, I'm telling you ALL of them. I'm not lying & keeping an option from you. Did I say green beans? No? Well, then, we don't have them tonight.
- Starring at my breasts while ordering your chicken is inappropriate. Especially while you're with your wife.
- Lazy servers.
- If you're just standing there, then you can take waters out to a table for me & set me up.
- Stop flirting with the busers, you whore.
- If you don't do your closing work at night & THEN go & help the other side close down, I will be mean to you.
- Get out of the way. You're all standing & talking in a high traffic area & I've got 5 plates to take out & you're blocking the roll drawer.
- Please speak loud enough for me to hear. I can't read your mind.
- DO NOT sit at a table that has no placemats or silverware, especially when the surrounding tables HAVE these things. It's just annoying.
- Sometimes I want to grab people by the shoulders & shake them--especially the people who have NO PERSONALITY.
- Please don't complain about the prices of our food, especially to me. I don't make the prices, I just serve the food.
- Wait until I'm finished taking your Grandma's/Uncle's/Dad's/friend's order before you jump in & tell me what you want to eat. Usually our dishes have sides & multiple options, I won't skip over you I promise.
- Don't feel like it's your right to move tables & chairs around. If you have more people coming we can check with the hostesses & see what tables to switch around (not that I really trust them anyways because they're all idiots).
- I know I've put this on here before, but, DO NOT STARE AT MY FUCKING BREASTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- I'm not even flaunting anything, I'm buttoned to the top, so why are your perverted eyes drawn to my tits?
- This is totally & completely unacceptable.
- Get off your fucking cell phone long enough to look at the menu & order.
- Ordering by pointing at the things in the menu is only going to make me ask you more questions than I should. & I'm going to make the extra effort to talk really, really loudly.
- Please do not interrupt my "specials/vegetable of the day" speech to ask me for sweeteners. Really, it can wait.
- If I say that we have "corn/peas/lima beans/etc/etc" do not ask me, "So, do you have green beans?"
- Did I say green beans?
- Is it listed as a side?
- No? OKAY THEN!
dec 6 2009 ∞
dec 29 2010 +
dec 29 2010 +