• Do you love yourself? Why?

Yes, because I am an important source of love and I believe it is healthy to love ones body since it was a gift and at the same time I love myself for being healthy.

• How can you love yourself more today?

I need to find ways to be a better person rather than writing them down, I would love myself more today if I had continued talking on the phone to a relative rather than telling them I only called to ask a question.

• What is your ideal self? What does it mean to be your highest self?

I am not high. I don't know if people are necessarily equal or not, I believe we are meant to be equal and to have unconditional love for one another but at the same time people are very different in how they hold themselves, but the similarity also starts there as it ends there in having the same need to present ourselves. We all want something, but what we want is different.

• Look at your life now. Are you living the life of your dreams?

If no dream had been favored, I'd be wishing I had this life. I have enough and too much. I eat too much sugar and too much salt which is bad for me but death is inevitable anyways and I'm actually considered a health freak. This life is a dream to another being, but to me I am a human and I will always want more. My mindset and values have been flawed. I want things more than I need things. My dreams have been made but were they ever the right dreams? I want to travel, do missionary work, find the meanings of life, and lately that is my dream.

• If you have one year left to live, what would you do?

I have no good answer...perhaps travel to Europe finally, embark to Asia. I'd try to squeeze as much out of life is left in my mop of it.

• If you have one month left to live, what would you do?

I would spend time with family, I would want them to comfort me. I would want to comfort them even more. I would question my faith, but believe always. I would act like a human and hide things even still, but I would make the most of my love and try to just...keep things alright.

• If you have one week left to live, what would you do?

I would cry. i would want to talk to all the strangers I see at the bookstores, museums, grocery stores, or beach walks. I would'nt tell them of my dying, but I would be happy knowing I was once in their lives, even for ten minutes. I want to be that stranger that made their day better.

• If you have one day left to live, what would you do?

I'd would'nt take it well, I would have so many questions and concerns that I would force myself not to dwell on them and just live life like tomorrow. I would remember those letters I write to my parents and loved ones in my notebooks that I prepared for them to find and share after such a day would occur.

• If you have an hour left to live, what would you do?

I would go eat as much delicious food as needed to be completely satisfied

• If you have one minute left to live, what would you do?

Throw my clothes out the window. I don't know why I subliminally thought of that, but that's what my mind told me to do and I believe my subconscious knows what is best for me so perhaps this would be my greatest relief in that last minute for whatever reason.

• What are the biggest things you’ve learned in life to date?

-We are most alive living with nothing - Everybody needs love, especially those who refuse it. -Things are better when they are still dreams, but it is ever so important to accomplish these dreams because the moment a dream is released into reality is a beautiful translation. -We will ALWAYS want something -Eventually, all people will open up to you. -I am meant to leave importance to the world. -The meaning of life is change and at the same time staying true to your true self -Communication is lacking, instinct sometimes shows more that communication ever will. I've felt a closeness to people whose language I could'nt speak more than I've felt with friends I've known for years. -It is not bad to try new things, but we cannot always conquer all things. -Negativity has no use but to harm and make worse of things. I'm not a very uplifting person myself, I realize there is a lot of bad in the world, but I know that if I do my part in staying content with life, my parents will be glad that I'm okay and they will become content and then those who see their contentedness will find their own... -The majority of people think they are superior or more independent than the majority of people. -You are the reason of all your own thoughts, accomplishments, and failures. It is very important to take yourself seriously because without your own control, what control is there at all?

• What advice would you give to yourself 3 years ago?

You know, I really haven't changed much in these years, but I am always trying. I am glad with my past three years for the most part.

• Do you love your job?

For now my only job is to get a job...I am also juggling college, volunteer work for 12th grade, and getting my license.

• What is your ideal career?

Travel photographer/missionary. Travel writer, informational writer...

• How can you start creating your ideal career starting today?

I try to find this answer everyday, I upload travel photos to websites, talk to people about their careers, try to gain skills in film-making, try to get a job and save ALL my money, talk to my parents for advice which they don't have...I wonder how I'll find people to travel with, I would go by myself if it were safer.

• What is your ideal diet?

I want to eat whatever I want whenever I want it.

• What do you need to do to achieve your ideal diet?

not a good idea.

• What is your ideal home like?

Sometimes I want a nice home with round windows, one loft-like slanted room, pretty curtains(no blinds), a beautiful rustic kitchen, a chandelier in the bathroom and a big mirror behind a claw-footed bathtub, different painted walls+wallpapers, some rococo European paintings, a bed made from branches, lots of lights hanging, plenty of space for my trinkets and books, a little place for art supplies, lots of shelves here and there, wooden floors or laminate...but sometimes I want nothing but hotel rooms and rentals to travel in.

• What do you need to do to achieve your ideal home?

Buy a home in a different country like the countryside of paris where I can get one for 40,000 and go to the Marche aux puce's to get decor.

• What is your ideal physical look?

I don't know, sometimes I get quite tired of my hair, but the length can be beautiful and I like to braid it so its wavy the next day, sometimes I want a new color or a short flapper hairstyle when I'm feeling like a vintage gal.

• What do you need to do to achieve your ideal physical look?

I think I'm pretty satisfied with my look for now, my nose sometimes bothers me, and sometimes I wish I had more of a chin because mine is very inward, but there's not much I can do about that. Plastic surgery is no option. Someday I might cut my hair.

What is your ideal life? I want to talk to people. I love to talk, discuss things, discover things...not spoil my life in bottles of tacky liquor. I always meet people who just want to drink or smoke and be innappropriate as a means for entertainment, but I want to find people who value me as much as I value them and to dance with me, write with me, create experiences with me. My job in life is to be the happy ending when there is none. I just want to have as many perfect moments as possible and attain my purpose. I WANT TO TRAVEL seeking new meaning and meet people who will bless and enchance my life as I will to theirs. I also love food and I want people to cook for and I want people to learn to cook from. I want to take cooking classes in various countries and learn. I also love to write, I would love to be a travel writer or something. I want to make music.

What can you do to start living your ideal life? I'm trying what i can. I should probably get a job, but I am still working at high school. I don't know what I'm supposed to major in, maybe I should just take a break from college and spend that time at a job so that I can save money and travel. I don't know people who can offer me missionary opportunities. I want to know more people to know more things. I don't know how to change that. I also love to be busy. If I had something to do, I'd be glad not to be at the computer and actually living.

What would you want to say to yourself 1 year in the future? Well, I'm not there yet.

What do you fear most in life? I fear that my faith may not be real...I have'nt been feeling it lately but I'm still putting God first. I feel like all I do is think about God and it makes me rather sad actually. Can I be living a different way? I fear not being efficient enough, not leaving a legacy, never attaining my dreams/living to my potential or falling in love. I don't fear emotion or loss-these things are only parts of cycles that also contain joy and newness.

Is there anything you are running away from? I run away from instinct. I live in a society based on fear and entrapment. We do things to feel things, say things to recieve things, and we have so much backwards. "We spend money we dont have, to buy things we dont need, to impress people we dont like" I am part of this society and I try my best to break free.

Are you settling for less than what you are worth? … Why? Yes. I don't know. I think that I am still molding and a hard-worker is worth a world, but...people are always going to be worth more than the circumstances they live under-and how they live under certain authorities or conditions is how they project their worth to the world-and eventually people will be fulfilled with what they filled this world with.

What is your inner dialogue like? I think a lot. My inner dialogue is very concerned and thankful and time-efficient I guess. If there is anything that can describe me best, it would be the fact that I am obsessed with not wasting things. My inner dialogue is most often me deciding what is best to do with my minutes, hours, and days.

What limiting beliefs are you holding on to? Perhaps sometimes I feel inclination to do things and I pretend that my actions are parts of a movie so i try to say witty things to make the movie entertaining. This is not a limiting belief, but I'm not sure of my limiting beliefs. Those I am aware of, I push out.

What empowering beliefs can you take on to help you achieve your goals? That I am capable of my goals. I will always be. Some goals may change, but their will be new ones in which I'll find joy from.

What bad habits do you want to break? I say "I don't know" a lot. I have a BAD time making up my mind. I like when people make me do things like go to their favorite restaurant rather than going to mine which I'll then have to debate with myself over. Its little, silly things that I am indecisive about and I try to be more careless in that because I know it can be annoying when I am so analytic and precise, but at the same time these are good traits to have and I just need to balance the pros and cons.

What good habits do you want to cultivate? I want to be more open. I focus on my body posture lately...am I slouching? "Slouchers are sloppy." Am I pouting(yes, because my face is naturally pouty). "Pouters are negative people, don't talk to them." That being said, I try to smile and make eye contact with people so that they would see me as a positive and well-rounded person and possibly approach me so that I can potentially meet a great friend.

What are the biggest actions you can take now to create the biggest results in your life? With my mom being away and my dad working everyday, I'm really going to need to get a permit and a job to start relying on myself for rides/entertainment. I would like for my dad to get me a modeling agent because I work hard for my health and appearance and would love to have such a job. Despite the pollutants of the modeling business, success takes failure and let-down. Every one has their brick wall to break down and it is put there for a reason. I will get paid and be able to travel, rely on myself, and buy lots of books!

Where are you living right now – the past, future or present? I may be living in the future, I constantly think about my future not out of worry or sorrow, but with hope and importance. I am excited for my future and I live enough in the present to ensure it will be well, using knowledge from my past to get through every day.

Are you living your life to the fullest right now? Absolutely not. I remember when I was in Kauai, it was one of the best trips I'd ever been on, and had spotted a wild sea-turtle in the ocean. It was laying on a rock far below and at first I thought "wow, there's a painting on that rock", but then I remembered reality and thought "Wait, this is the actual ocean, I don't think that is a painting" so I watched and waited until it moved its head, slid its body up, swam up to me, then swam away again into nothingness. It was me and the turtle. This turtle changed me as a person. These moments; those of which are so vivid, so intense...these are my life at the fullest. I strive for moments like these.

What is the meaning of life? The meaning of life is to find your own meaning and use it to its greatest extent until your life decides to free you. Life is change and love. We change for the better.

What is your purpose in life? Why do you exist? What is your mission? My purpose in life is to travel, to appreciate, to document, to share, to study, to think, and then give. I feel no desire more upon my heart than that which to learn. I want to learn from people as I help them, thus they are helping me. I want meaning and I crave experience, and then i want to have a place to sit and share my stories and LISTEN to those of others. I want to exist among people and be part of their existence and to help spread their greatness to the world. I think I can say that I love these things most.

How can you make your life more meaningful, starting today? Do what I am doing. For now things are still trying to come together and I'm trying to help these things combine.

What drives you? Inspirational people, capability, determination, the unexpected results.

What are the times you are most inspired, most motivated, most charged up? After going to the bookstore or talking to people that I am drawn to-after they tell me that I am their motivation. I love to feel important. Music is also especially part of my life and I'm quite surprised I haven't mentioned it yet. Its just so obvious that music is engaged in my proceeding, music is half of why I am who I am and it inspires me EVER so much! Music is meant to have meaning, therefore; I listen to meaningful music like Patrick Wolf, Cat Stevens, George Harrison, etc. These people inspire me greatly.

What did you do during those times? How can you do more of that starting today? I do as much as I can everyday...but that itself is a limiting belief, isn't it? Any time I've done enough, I've not done it all.

How can you change someone’s life for the better today? When they meet me. I promise. Please talk to me, approach me. I'm terribly alone.

Who are the 5 people you spend the most time with? Dad, self, sister/family, strangers, Autumn(friend).

Are these people enabling you or holding you back? I sometimes wish my family was more supportive and helpful to me, but they do everything and I want nothing more of them. I just need help...a mentor or something, but I will manage myself for now. Sometimes it may be better that way? There is God, too. God is there. I feel like I can do whatever I want and would do whatever I want if I did. The good thing is, I want good things and most of us are for the common good. My mom has messed up my life, but with messes came cleaning supplies and I've learned to live under uncomfortable situations and what not. I feel like those factors that hold people back from whatever it is they seek, do, or look for do not exist or are never permanent. Ones' self is the door to selflessness. YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON STOPPING YOURSELF

Who inspires you the most? I think that religion itself can be very inspirational and even if people choose not to be religious, they should at least acknowledge that religion has wise advice to offer and should be taken account of. Taoism, Hinduism, Christianity-all hold great truths and morals. People-wise, patrick Wolf is a very inspiring person to me, his lyrics are so meaningful and beautiful, his poetry enlightening, and his heart seems to be quite loving. I am also a fan of Gandhi, Odland, Cocorosie, U2, and anyone else who achieves great things for higher purpose.

How can you be like them? I believe I have to continue what I'm doing and respond to opportunities i may recieve. I hope I can be like them and that people will find me inspiring.

What is your ideal life partner like? My ideal life partner is equally independent as I am-that way we wont mind if we want alone time; however I also must be mad for his presence. I want someone who will travel with me and without me, make me feel like I am perfect, because essentially we will be perfect for each other, and I need him to be healthy, but also love food as I do. He cannot be an alcoholic or a smoker. There is so much significance in choosing/finding a partner and I simply want them to be all the things I can't find words to paste over.

Where can you find him/her? I have NO idea and I don't believe I am supposed to. It may be anywhere.

How can you get to know him/her? He will approach me or I just may be in a very peculiar mood to approach him and we will clique and last forever. Of course it takes time.

Are you afraid of letting others get close to you? No. I want to show my mind and soul to everyone. I wish i had people to get close to. Sometimes I want to jump straight in but most often if I do happen to meet anyone who would bother knowing me, I find it hard to let myself shine. I am ALWAYS myself though, I don't really know.

Who is/are the most important person(s) to you in the world? My parents and family, people in need, and I.

Are you giving them the attention you want to give? Yes. I clean the house, paint it, do the dishes, cook them food, and fold their clothes. I try not to ask for much and focus on staying open to things they would like to do and not what I would prefer. If given the opportunities, I am magnanimous in giving.

How can you spend more time with them starting today? I spend time with them everyday. I try to give my mom fun options when she tells me she is bored, but she never likes doing anything and there really isn't often anything to do which is sad. If not exercising, I just stay home, work on work, browse internet, paint, clean, read, and write. I am wasting my life away, aren't I?

What kind of person do you enjoy spending time with? I have friends who are worldly-seeking the liking of others, and I have friends who are otherwordly-seeking my liking. I like the second type best. I want my friends to simply be good friends and to care less about what anyone may think of us and what we enjoy. I like taking pictures/making movies with friends and I need to feel comfortable around them. Some people I'm just so easily myself and comfortable around, but some of my longest-known friends still make me feel embarrassed or uneasy to do certain things around them and I hate that! Lets just have fun and also have good serious talks. Laughter is great!

How can you be this person to others? I just have to be myself, but it takes two. We just have to right for eachother as friends.

Who do you want to be like in 1 year? If the world hath not lost her breathe by then, I want to have felt progression in my life since how I feel now and I want to have traveled more places, had numerous great times with great family/friends. I also need to achieve more bullets from my bucket list. Also, I'll have a job and have finished highschool and gained more insight for my future!

… 3 years? More bucket list completed, new wishes added. I might like to be living on my own, if not with a friend. I'll have good stable relationships with old as well as new friends. I'll go on a trip with someone other than my parents. If New World Order is not set up which would take away my rights to travel, then I may be traveling the world by myself, one place at a time, taking on different jobs for travel money and accomplishing dreams like the loon that I innately am.

… 5 years? Same. I'll be 22 years old, perhaps this would be a time of having a love-life. Perhaps I'd rather be alone. Its hard to tell where I just might be and how I'll be feeling in five years to come, but I'll certainly have gained experiences and wisdom over these years that will hopefully make me more well-known in the world and I'd like to have contributed great things to the world by then. If the govt. takes away my rights, I'll use the arms I still have to build a boat and leave this country.

… 10 years? Children? No. I can't have a child, I'd be afraid to ruin it. There's nothing I hate to see more than a ruined child with lost hope, heart, and hasance. When I am 27, I will consider myself old as I already consider myself old at 17, but humanity as young. I just want more meaning and contentness in life, maybe I'll be living in China, taking weekly Tai Chi classes, living off miso soup and barley rice.