i miss you a lot. it has been 3.5 months since you died. or went to sleep or whatever happened, but probably you’re just dead and will stay dead. i miss you. today i got a transvaginal ultrasound and it sucked. they said i have PCOS. i could be infertile. im sorry. i think if i told you that you would have held me and comforted me and made me feel less defective. maybe you would have been sad. i feel a bit sad. i sometimes think if i had a baby it would be you reincarnated and reborn again. that would be amazing. ill write more tomorrow. i love you.