• DIET.
• Try not to eat.
• Starve myself because srsly that's what all of this is about.
• NOT DRINK CARAMELIZED DRINKS. (It actually gained me some cellulite in my thighs.)
• Stop whining like a foghorn.
• Stop sitting around all day in the computer, 'cause it makes my butt fatter.
• Stop saying that I am fat.

If I break one of these Lenten "I WILLs", then I shall be doomed because once I break one, I shall break all of it.

Yeah whatever.