- "I hate you." My sister said it different than she said it to my dad. She meant it with me. She really did."I love you,” was all I could say in return."You're a freak, you know that? Everyone says so. They always have." "I'm trying not to be."
- "I just need to know that someone out there listens and understands and doesn't try to sleep with people even if they could have. I need to know that these people exist."
- "Maybe it’s sad that these are now memories. And maybe it’s not sad."
- "Sam has brown hair and very very pretty green eyes. The kind of green that doesn't make a big deal about itself."
- "So, this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be."
- "The fact that one of these ladies was my mom made me particularly sad because my mom is beautiful. And she’s always on a diet. Sometimes, my dad calls her beautiful, but she cannot hear him."
- "Then I turned around and walked to my room and closed my door and put my head under my pillow and let the quiet put things where they are supposed to be."
- And I closed my eyes because I wanted to know nothing but her arms.
- And I thought that all those little kids are going to grow up someday. And all of those little kids are going to do the things that we do. And they will all kiss someone someday. But for now, sledding is enough. I think it would be great if sledding were always enough, but it isn't.
- And I told Michelle that I was a kid and did not need an exercise machine, but I hope she was having a good night. That’s when Michelle hung up on me. And I didn’t mind a bit.
- And in that moment, I swear we were infinite.
- And the people in the photographs always seem a lot happier than you are.
- And then Patrick started running after the sunset. And Sam immediately followed him. And I saw them in silhouette. Running after the sun. Then, I started running. And everything was as good as it could be.
- As you enter the tunnel, the wind gets sucked away, and you squint from the lights overhead. When you adjust to the lights, you can see the other side in the distance just as the sound of the radio fades to nothing because the waves just can't reach. Then, you're in the middle of the tunnel, and everything becomes a calm dream. As you see the opening get closer, you just can't get there fast enough. And finally, just when you think you'll never get there, you see the opening right in front of you. And the radio comes back even louder than you remember it. And the wind is waiting. And you fly out of the tunnel onto the bridge. And there it is. The city. A million lights and buildings and everything seems as exciting as the first time you saw it.
- But the thing is that I can hear Sam and Craig having sex, and for the first time in my life, I understand the end of that poem. And I never wanted to. You have to believe me.
- I am very interested and fascinated how everyone loves each other, but no one really likes each other.
- I don’t know if you’ve ever felt like that. That you wanted to sleep for a thousand years. Or just not exist. Or just not be aware that you do exist. Or something like that. I think wanting that is very morbid, but I want it when I get like this. That’s why I’m trying not to think. I just want it all to stop spinning.
- I don’t know what I’m supposed to do now. I know other people have it a lot worse. I do know that, but it’s crashing in anyway, and I just can’t stop thinking that the little kid eating french fries with his mom in the shopping mall is going to grow up and hit my sister. I’d do anything not to think that. I know I’m thinking too fast again, and it’s all in my head like the trance, but it’s there, and it won’t go away. I just keep seeing him, and he keeps hitting my sister, and he won’t stop, and I want him to stop because he doesn’t mean it, but he just doesn’t listen, and I don’t know what to do.
- I just hope I remember to tell my kids that they are as happy as I look in my old photographs. And I hope that they believe me.
- I just kept quiet and looked around. And I noticed things. The dots on the ceiling.
- I just laid around in my bed, looking at the ceiling, and i smiled because it was a nice kind of quiet.
- I just wanted to know what to buy my dad because I love him. And I don’t know him.
- I never once thought that it would mean Sam might start liking me. All I cared about was the fact that Sam got really hurt. And I guess I realized at that moment that I really did love her. Because there was nothing to gain, and that didn’t matter.
- I started at my reflection and the trees behind it for a long time. Not thinking anything. Not feeling anything. Not hearing the record. For hours. Something really is wrong with me. And I don't know what it is.
- I think it was the first time in my life I ever felt like I looked “good.” Do you know what I mean? That nice feeling when you look in the mirror, and your hair’s right for the first time in your life?
- I think that if I ever have kids, and they are upset, I won't tell them that people are starving in China or anything like that because it wouldn't change the fact that they were upset. And even if somebody else has it much worse, that doesn't really change the fact that you have what you have.
- I used to listen to it all the time when I was little and thinking about grown-up things. I would go to my bedroom window and stare at my reflection in the glass and the trees behind it and just listen to the song for hours. I decided then that when I met someone I thought was as beautiful as the song, I should give it to that person. And I didn’t mean beautiful on the outside. I meant beautiful in all ways.
- It was the kind of kiss that made me know that I was never so happy in my whole life.
- It's kind of like when you look at yourself in the mirror and you say your name. And it gets to a point where none of it seems real. Well, sometimes, I can do that, but I don't need an hour in front of a mirror. It just happens very fast, and things start to slip away. And I just open my eyes, and I see nothing. And then I start to breathe really hard trying to see something, but I can't. It doesn't happen all the time, but when it does, it scares me.
- It’s like looking at all the students and wondering who’s had their heart broken that day, and how they are able to cope with having three quizzes and a book report on top of that. Or wondering who did the heart breaking. And wondering why.
- It’s much easier not to know things sometimes. And to have french fries with your mom be enough.
- Maybe these are my glory days and I’m not even realizing it because they don’t involve a ball.
- Please believe that things are good with me, and even when they’re not, they will be soon enough.
- Sam and Patrick looked at me. And I looked at them. And I think they knew. Not anything specific really. They just knew. And I think that's all you can ever ask from a friend.
- Sam tapped her hand on the steering wheel. Patrick held his hand outside the car and made air waves. And I just sat between them. After the song finished, I said something. “I feel infinite.”
- She was sad, though. But it was a hopeful kind of sad. The kind of sad that just takes time.
- So, I guess we are who we are for a lot of reasons. And maybe we'll never know most of them. But even if we don't have the power to choose where we come from, we can still choose where we go from there. We can still do things. And we can try to feel okay about them.
- So, I looked up, and we were in this giant dome like a glass snowball, and Mark said that the amazing white stars were really only holes in the black glass of the dome, and when you went to heaven, the glass broke away, and there was nothing but a whole sheet of star white, which is brighter than anything but doesn't hurt your eyes. It was vast and open and thinly quiet, and I felt so small.
- Sometimes, i look outside, and i think that a lot of other people have seen this snow before. Just like i think that a lot of other people have read those books before. And listened to those songs. I wonder how they feel tonight.
- Sometimes, I read a book, and I think am the people in the book.
- Things change. And friends leave. And life doesn’t stop for anybody.
- When I was driving home, I thought about the word “special.” And I thought the last person who said that about me was my aunt Helen. I was very grateful to have heard it again. Because I guess we all forget sometimes. And I think everyone is special in their own way. I really do.
- When I was walking up the stairs to my dad’s old room, and I was looking at the old photographs, I started thinking that there was a time when these weren’t memories. That someone actually took that photograph, and the people in the photograph has just eaten lunch or something.
- “Charlie, you’re one of the most gifted people I’ve ever known. And I don’t mean in terms of my other students. I mean in terms of anyone I’ve ever met.”
- “He’s my whole world.” “Don’t ever say that about anyone again. Not even me.”
- “I just want you to know that you’re very special… and the only reason I’m telling you is that I don’t know if anyone else ever has.”
- “I would die for you. But I won’t live for you.”
- “Not everyone has a sob story, Charlie, and even if they do, it’s no excuse.”
- “You see things. You keep quiet about them. And you understand.”
nov 15 2012 ∞
nov 16 2012 +