- "80085" on my calculator
- Seeing you in the city with your slicked back hair & white shirt, the rude & impatient way you talked to your friend on the phone
- Alcohol-fueled aggression because you don't know any better, or because that's who you are - swearing, being dramatic about not having any photos taken
- Not inviting me to the "house party", even though I wouldn't have gone
- The "house party" turning into some club event in Darling Harbour
- The fact you're capable of treating her the way you do means you're capable of treating me in that way
- You always say you can judge someone by how they treat waitstaff and people perceived to be below them - was that something someone told you? So you'd be conscious of trying to behave well in those situations as if I would draw a conclusion about your character from it.
- Did you forget you wrote in my calendar the date you'd be back?
- I feel so dismayed because of you. Cognisant of your lies and deception and yet unable to confront you about it, or even feel justifiably indignant. I'm losing by virtue of the fact I let you win, my default position is at a disadvantage because of these nonsensical, persistent feelings, spurred by my own inferiority complex and whatever fucked up insecurities exist in my head. You damage me. You weaken me. You are my downfall without even trying. Merely thinking about you makes me feel like I need to plan my steps ahead, lest I make a mistake, lest I fall apart in front of your eyes. I need to be safe from you as you trigger everything self-destructive in me.
dec 13 2011 ∞
dec 13 2011 +