hey rian, what anime should i watch? (or what manga should you read bc im too lazy to separate them)

--> if you're looking for an anime to give you some sort of social commentary, for some reason: psycho pass

• i want it to be a commentary on INTERNET culture - eden of the east
• no, not just reddit. you have to AT LEAST address 4chan. - durarara!!
• how am i supposed to enjoy anything of this nature without an appropriately attractive brooding protagonist? - darker than black
• all of this honestly just needs more lesbians - puella magi madoka magica

--> if you love giant robots and thrive on melodramatic bullshit discourse: ♡code geass♡

• less ridiculous and with a more anatomically correct art style. and while you're at it put it in space. - gundam 00
• how about something more optimistic. and fuck it, maybe try the opposite of outer space. like underground. im going to hell anyway. - gurren lagann
• i need it to be ~deep~. the giant robots are a metaphor. our fragile human lives are metaphors. your parents? metaphors. the gay sex is a metaphor. (the gay sex is literal) - neon genesis evangelion
• perfect! just add like, i dunno, vampires or some shit - kakumeiki valvrave
• you got anything without discourse? - pick a different genre

--> if you want to belatedly experience what it's like to be a middle school weeb: naruto

• excuse me i am a GOTH. i fully believe my chemical romance will one day reunite and naruto is for preps - bleach
• i need something even longer, you fool. you underestimate me. i want YEARS of my life to be occupied. - ♡one piece♡
• i don't actually want to waste my time reading the material i just want the golden era fanwork - hetalia
• i'm looking for something higher-brow. think like... nihilism and moral ambiguity and experimental alt metal. - death note

--> if you're tired of the heterosexuals: ♡no. 6♡

• i want something that caters more to my bdsm & victorian fashion fetishes - godchild*
• great! but less bees and more action. the social commentary is good though, let's keep that. - ♡tiger & bunny♡
• i love pain & hate understanding the plot - literally anything CLAMP has ever done*
• fuck it just give me a halfway decent yaoi rec - hana wa saku ka*

--> if you're an art heaux: princess tutu

• no, no, i'm an art heaux for MORE RECENT music - sakamichi no apollon
• think more classic literature. also fuck traditional animation - gankutsuo
• i'm really just here for the lesbians and this seems like the most reasonable genre - revolutionary girl utena
• is free-form painting to jazz music with the blood of innocents considered art? - ♡baccano!♡

-> if you want SPORTS. SPORTS SPORTS ALL DAY EVERY DAY: ookiku furikabutte

• basketball! - kuroko no basuke
• volleyball! - haikyuu!!
• cycling! - yowamushi pedal
• swimming! - free!
• MORE baseball! - diamond no ace

--> if you have standards. like really high standards. really really really really high standards: ♡fullmetal alchemist: brotherhood♡**

• make it a space opera slash western - cowboy bebop.
• make it a historical epic - samurai champloo.
• give me the best shounen action show you've got - hunter x hunter (2011)
• make it an absurd meta on the entire universe or some shit - one punch man

--> im getting way too lazy to categorize these so if you just want some straight recs: ♡READ LOVELESS♡*

• i just want something nice about friendship and maybe aliens - tsuritama
• something over the top but with a lot of heart - ouran high school host club
• something that will make me cry like fuck it. fuck me. just bring on the pain - d.gray-man*
• a shounen series tailor made for my gay emo sensibilities - katekyo hitman reborn!*
• a stirring narrative about abuse and mental illness with light furry undertones but like, different from loveless, you know? - fruits basket*
• a great series with lots of mediocre adaptations - hana-kimi*

notes:

• one asterisk = either there's only a manga or you should really probably just read the manga
• two asterisks = please for the love of all that is holy watch this. but if you watch it make sure it's brotherhood. the manga is just fullmetal alchemist.
• ♡ = all-time fave