2007
- taking the 7 nanaimo stn and getting lost
- late nights in a foreign house
2008
- chinatown nightmarket
- bubbletea
- swimming regionals
- blueberries
- "I'm hitting on you"
- "Aw shit, I'm sorry"
- water fights/bonding
2009
- going back
- 2 day stay in school
- I chose my "friends" over the person I miss the most
- I miss you so much, I'm sorry
- "Did you like it?" "No. It's so different now."
- late nights
- sushi
- 160
2010
- sticky pix
- best friend reunion I
- playland
- isolation
- iPhone
- Kelowna, Princeton, Osoyoos
- 173
2011
- best friend reunion II
- failed baking
- Richard & Serinda
- diet & exercise
- sporadic hangouts
- Roadtrip
- Kamloops, Banff, Calgary, Winnipeg, Thomson, Edmonton
- shopping
- taking a shortcut, getting lost, meeting a ghost
- blogging
- 160
2012
- shit birthday
- clean for all 3 months of summer
- Richmond nightmarket
- sticky pix
- diet
- mix CDs/playlists
- tea or wine
- sadness
- reunion with Valeria & Antonella
- watermania
- Jeff & Tyler
- playland
- Spain
- reunion
- sadness/joy/anger
- going out at 7pm, getting home at midnight
- gay bars
- summer's wine/vodka/gin/cigarettes
- late nights with family
- last day: 200 euros to spend
- Portugal
- almost sleeping out on the streets
- whore houses
- missing our stop
- alone & scared at a bus stop
- drunk hotel receptionist
- least religious trip of my life
- home again
- moving houses
- high tea attempt and fail
- Arkells
- 145
2013
- appointments
- best birthday
- Richmond nightmarket
- dark periods
- relapses
- diet & exercise
- summer school
- an entire summer with Michelle
- "I'm glad I got to spend my summer with you, you're a great friend"
- "I had the privilege of watching their romance bloom" "... Wow, you really are corny"
- (somewhat) innocent flirting can lead to a serious relationship
- happiness
- no alcohol/no cigarettes
- Portland
- all you can eat(s)
- bubbletea & sticky pix
- high tea (success!)
- 120 (let me go back)
2014
- graduation
- cigarettes, cigarettes, and more cigarettes
- lonely prom
- lonely birthday but the best too
- july 24th to 31st
- 130
- loneliness
- relapses
- hang outs with Reggie, Ari, Erika and Laura
- an entire summer with Erika
- "you're my best friend, I swear"
- cigarettes
- alcohol
- never sleeping at home
- Montana
- joy
- kisses
- making out
- sex
- chipotle, the creek, double dates, starbucks, the movies, baking, Lakota, coming out, etc
- going home crying
- sadness
- sunshine coast
- falling outs
- suicide attempt
- hospital
- psych wards
- Rustam
- 145
2015
- 19th birthday
- "I hope you're well"
- a good relationship turned toxic
- no job, no school
- depression
- no (serious) suicide attempts
- 190?
- mexico
- nothing brings more life to a sad girl than a tan
2016
- 2 jobs
- 20th birthday was initially booked off, but somehow ended up working at both places
- birthday muffin
- "you wanna get promoted?"
- quit second job
- you overworked the living hell out of me, piece of shit
- spain
- first thing we do is get seriously ill
- alone and lonely
- if there's no money, why are we here?
- we're broken, broken. we're family
- house to (mostly) myself for a week
- back to zumba
- go to bed at 9 pm, wake up at 5 am
- hanging out with Erika, normalcy remains
- cigarettes and alcohol
- wreck beach, the stairs kill me
- fun drugs lead to addictions
- trauma does, too
- 190?
2017:
- work got difficult
- 21st birthday I laid low, worked
- post birthday weekend, got the best gift
- hotel room with Reg
- chocolate covered strawberries
- ocean view
- "you work too hard, I did this for you"
- wreck beach seems too far now
- can run up the stairs
- switched work locations
- busiest one downtown
- first graveyard shift - a mess
- in school during the summer
- no time for friends, it's ok
- Erika and I drift apart, it's ok
- I start to realize, maybe friendships aren't meant to be this difficult, it's ok
- zumba
- started weight training
- 170
2018
- I am only working 30 hours a week, with no school
- I haven't had this much free time in years
- recover
- back injury
- neck injury
- sleep well, thanks to seroquel
- weight training
- 22nd birthday I was alone, and only 3 people remembered it
- erika was silent, and it hurt the most
- how is it that after all these years, I still end up wishing myself dead on this day?
- work, gym, sleep, work, gym, work, sleep, gym, work
- seeing a few people from high school, they all the same question : "how is erika?"
- booked my first independent holiday
- a few graveyard shifts - they're all the same
- I am toxic
- deaths - one that unexpectedly hurt a lot
- reconnected with ari. he's a different person, but in the best way
- house to myself for a week
- lots of uber eats
- lots of reggie and I
- mexico - we needed the rest
- how at home can I feel?
- rest in peace, Credence
- 175
- then 170, and 165
- lots of measurements
2019
- working part time, no school.. the most amount of freedom I've had in years
- ran out of meds, went into withdrawal, almost kms lol
- went to my first rave
- tried to do pride celebrations
- went to my first protest/march
- ran into Erika and it triggered so much, all at once
- not many summer activities and outings
- 155... 150
- hard liquor
2020
- rest in peace, Ryan
- reconnected with Erika
- everyone keeps dying... I can't let this go on
- first beach outing was a celebration of life
- work reopened in june, in an empty downtown
- protests
- birthday celebration at the beach with so many people I hadn't seen in a long time
- so many beach outings
- low calorie ciders
- repeat of last year... ran out of meds
sep 18 2013 ∞
nov 14 2020 +
nov 14 2020 +