Historical Figures

• Abbie Hoffman
• Every president, excluding:
  • Zachary Taylor
  • Millard Filmore
  • James Garfield
  • Warren G. Harding
  • George W. Bush
    • Seated in alternating party order
• Rosa Parks
• Martin Luther King Jr.
• The first settlers of America (Pilgrims)
• Every Americn Girl Doll character
• Rebecca Paris
• Anne Putnam
• Abigail Adams
• Al Capone
• Johnny Cash
• Elvis
• The Beatles
  • Not Ringo
• Ben Franklin
• Malcolm X (I'm down)
• Beowulf
• Whitey Bulger

Authors

• Dave Eggers
• J.K. Rowling
• Shakespeare
• Oscar Wilde
• David Sedaris
• Tom Wolfe
• Whoever wrote the American Pageant textbooks
• Norman Mailer

Deities

• Jesus
• Moses
• Buddah
• Krishna
• Mohammad

Musicians

• All members of Noah and the Whale
• Kanye West
• Bob Dylan
• Common
• Mos Def
• Kelly Clarkson
• All members of Guster
• All members of the Pussycat Dolls
• Missy Elliot
• Brit Brit
• The Spice Girls

Animals

• An eleohant
• A slow loris
• A tiger
• A beluga whale
• A manatee
• A small gecko
  • the Geico one
• A french bulldog
• A dragon
• A unicorn
• A thestral
• A gryffon

Celebritae

• Daniel Craig
• Jon Stewart
• Stephen Colbert
• Perez Hilton
  • to be seated next to Will.I.Am's manager
• Julie Andrews
• Judy Garland
• Jason Bateman
• Michael Cera
• Will Arnett
• Amy Poehler
• Tina Fey
• John Krasinski
• Paul Rudd
• Seth Rogen
• Tracy Morgan
• Alec Baldwin
  • and his brosefs
• Steve Carrell

Fictional People

• Harry Potter crew
  • See everyone on my list of people whose hands I would like to shake
• Jack Bauer
• Bill Compton
• Edward Cullen
• Lafayette
• Eric
• Sam Merlott
• Tara
• Santa Claus