Chinese

• “What, are they going to throw turkeys at us?” Aseeb
• “We’re learning about the Chinese and how fast they reproduce.” Aseeb
• “I can’t multi-task. I can’t even chew gum and walk at the same time.” Aseeb
• “Philip, you should not drink coffee. Soda. It makes you hyper.” Mrs. Liu
• “Sometimes I eat children!” Phil
• “Crew is so awesome, I don’t know why everyone doesn’t do crew!” Zoe
• “I’ll put on an apron and you can be a bread loaf and I’ll put you in the oven!” Phil
• “Is there a drinking age in China?” Cat
  • “No. Baby can drink.” Mrs. Liu
• “I am wearing two different shoes right now, just want to say that.” Sra. Reidy
• “I didn’t know that beer was illegal.” Mrs. Liu
  • “You gave your students beer?” Cat
• “Do you have beer at school?” Mrs. Liu
• “Why is the character for sun smaller than the character for moon?” Friedy
  • “You can talk to my ancestors. Let me know if you talk to them.” Mrs. Liu
• “Xiao Bai is a spy for the Russians!” Phil
  • “Xiao Bai... yeah.” Mrs. Liu
• “If you give me another cookie, I will not give you the quiz.” Mrs. Liu

Algebra

• “Dustin what is your problem? You bonehead!” Mr. MacKenzie
• “Aren’t you going to wish me luck too?” Adrian
  • “Do you have a game too?” Mr. MacKenzie
  • “Yeah you think I always look this good?” Adrian
• “How many times do you need to be hit before you know it hurts?” Mr. Lemire
• “Some people become teachers just to mess with your brains.” Mr. Lemire
• “Algebra One kids are doing this stuff! They’re not going the B problems though, they would cry.” Mr. Lemire
• “I was in a class once where a kid jumped out the window.” Mr. Lemire
• “If I showed this to an Algebra 1 class...I’m glad I’m in a room with no windows so no one could jump out.” Mr. Lemire
• “Maybe we can make a window so we can throw Dustin through it!” Mr. Lemire
• “Americans don’t believe in moderation. Supersize!” Mr. Lemire
• “Some people will never be alums.” Mr. Lemire
  • “We’re sorry Vanessa.” Dustin
• “I found the secret: don’t sleep. If you don’t sleep it’s amazing how much work you can do.” Mr. Lemire
• “I think we should replace Vanessa with the penguin.” Dustin
• “English is spoken in many tongues.” Dustin
• “My math teacher works in a porta potty!” Dustin
• “I was Ms. America.” Mr. Lemire
• “Honors Algebra II is like getting eaten, then thrown back up, then getting put into a meat grinder, then getting thrown off a cliff.” Dustin
• “Frogs’ legs. Just think of all those poor frogs in wheelchairs.” Mr. Lemire
• “Remembering is hard to remember. Remember that.” Dustin

Modern Euro

• “I sharpen pencils, therefore I am. That’s what my pencil sharpener thinks.” Mr. Curley
• “I crush your head, or I cut off your beard.” Mr. Curley
• “Voltaire was kind of an ass.” Mr. Curley
• “You are what you eat, so you might as well eat your textbook.” Mr. Curley
• “Women say a lot of things during labor.” Mr. Curley
• “It doesn’t work to crucify little wafers.” Mr. Curley
• “If you give Napoleon a cookie, he’ll want a piece of Russia.”
• “He gave us a lot of rope and most of us hung ourselves.” Mr. Curley
• “Child labor rocks! Yes!” Mr. Milne
• “The government should be able to – ooh that’s my favorite screensaver!” Mr. Curley
• “Mr. Milne, did you remember to feed the piranha this week?” Mr. Curley
  • “Every Wednesday.” Mr. Milne
• “An anarchy is a type of government headed by an anarch.” from a book of badly written essays
• “Take a deep breath and hold it until June.” Mr. Curley
• “He used to work in a bicycle factory, I had to take his job.” Mr. Curley
  • “Who did?” me
  • “My husband.” Mr. Curley
• “Cottage cheese or meat? Ask your pocketbook.”
• “It’s gas! Save your donkey.” Mr. Curley
• “So for the past 16 years I’ve been Russian...” Grigs
• “That exchange rate was so yesterday.” Mr. Curley
• “He thought peasants were useless so Bobovich said, ‘Well screw you too!’” Mr. Curley
• “Welcome to extreme bad time to be a peasant. Even worse than every other time to be a peasant.” Mr. Curley
• “Next time you guys decide to run a dictatorship, this is the way you should approach things.” Mr. Curley
• “Bobo is General Bobo now.” Mr. Curley
• I miss Mr. Curley!!!

English

• “Does this make any sense?” Mr. Childs
  • “Well I don’t know why you have an autographed picture of Rosie.” Dustin
• “This sheet is just asking to be made fun of.” Tucker
• “Dad, where’s the shotgun?” Ben
• “Dustin, I’m surprised that you have lived this long.” Mr. Childs
• “I can read. Strange but true.” Mr. Childs
• “I’m two months pregnant, okay?” Andrew
• “Looks like they meant to put an index then forgot.” Tucker
• “I can’t read the answer, can you tell me it?” Dustin
• “Nobody gets raped in a Spanish restaurant.” Mr. Childs
• “In my day we had these things called Goosebumps.” Harris
  • “In your day? Was this back when the wheel was being invented?” Mr. Childs
• “Harris, pull up your pants.” Mr. Childs
• “Stop apologizing!” Ali
  • “I’m sorry!” Tucker
• “She’s like telling him, ‘Yeah, I’m messed up.’” Mr. Childs
• “All right, Harris? Obviously you didn’t get a razor over break.” Mr. Childs
• “So, I don’t really understand why MacBeth is crazy.” Harris (reading Hamlet)
• “I. Hate. Estrogen.” Adam
• “Maybe if there was a big pile of poop in the hallway I would step daintily over it.” Mr. Childs
• “Chill or be chilled.” Adam

Latin

• note: Matt is Matt McCormick
• “People say it’s the thought that counts. If I thought about studying, does that count?” Grigs
• “People who are normal amaze you, Matt.” Doc
• “It’s shocking that you can be as brain-dead as I am and teach in this school.” Doc
• “In my advisory, I’m with all the kids that are going to go to college!” Matt
• “Matt, tell your parents it’s time to have the talk.” Doc
• “Matt, I want you to take this down, and take 40 minutes to get back.” Doc
• “Along with a life, Matt, you could use some mojo.” Doc
• “Why don’t you just have us write on stone tablets?” Matt
• “Explain to Matt what puberty is. He doesn’t know those big words yet.” Doc
• “Matt, you’ve grown up in a zoo, nevermind.” Doc
• “Would you consider your relationship with Mr. Anthony to be Platonic?” Tony
• "John McCain can’t be President, he’ll drop dead!” Ali
  • “The average American life span is what, like 76 years? He’s got 10 months!” Kelsey Kanik
• “Iovis, Iovi, Io Mamma.” Doc
  • for all non-Latinists, that's pronounced "yowiss, yowee, yo mamma"
• “He has to stop and say hi to girls first.” Ms. Steele
  • “Adrian is a guy.” Adam
• “I go to da rocks to get da chronic.” Doc
• “Doc is a girl. I’m convinced.” Kelsey
• “Don’t taise me bro!” Doc
• “That’s my tickle-me-Elmo laugh.” Matt
  • “Sometimes I forget I teach kindergarten.” Doc
• “Well, tool, the fact that you’re a tool, comes from this.” Doc
• “Those of you who are taking AP, I guarantee that Vergil will never do this to you.” Doc
• “Is it a no break day? Ew. Disgusting.” Kelsey
  • “Aw, bollocks!” Matt

Choir

• “Carl used to think it was okay to eat muffins in class, but it’s not okay.” Mrs. Devino

Free Period

• “I’m leaving now.” Craig
  • “Hey! Get back here beautiful!” Seiger
  • “First I was kidding, but now I’m not.” Craig
• “Philip, aren’t you supposed to be in Choir?” Kaitlyn
  • “No, I’m a girl!” Phil

Chemistry

• “If there’s an F word in here, that’s Fahrenheit. We don’t use that word in here.” Mr. Bradley
• “This is so weird to open up a marker that smells like apple.” Mr. Bradley
• “Cook on it and beat people from your house all at the same time.” Mr. Bradley
• “I don’t know if you guys have ever tried it, I don’t know if you smoke a lot but I’m not going to go there.” Mr. Bradley
• “Ninja School: secret ways to kill people.” Mr. Bradley
• “Mr. Bradley, you were a Chemistry nerd even when you were little.” Claire
  • “No, I was just dangerous.” Mr. Bradley
• “It’s like pea green.” me
  • “If you were peeing that color I’d be seeing a doctor.” Mr. Bradley

Crew

• “What happened to your toe, Alex?”
  • “I don’t know. I sort of looked down and part of it was missing.” Seiger
• “You could be a light-weight girl!” Lisa
  • “I am!” MaPo
• “I’m an Asian that’s horrible at math, that’s what I am.” Chloe

Nordic

• “Life is only as easy as you make it, so don’t do anything.” Mr. Moerlein
• “If God wanted us to wear clothes, he would have made us that way.” Romo
• “If no one else points out the obvious, you might as well point it out.” Kye
• “Hello snow. It’s nice to see you up close again.” Charlotte

Miscellaneous

• “I’m a hands-on kind of guy.” Harris
• “Let’s draw a meloncholy...flower.” Elise (cauliflower)
• “What do I get every day use out of? Certainly not condoms.” Caroline (ps. my mom saw that quote when I first wrote it in my planner)
• “It’s human nature, Ms. Foster.” me
  • “Oh, but teachers are not humans, we’re machines. I get plugged in every night.” Ms. Foster
• “The students at this school think it’s a right to have teachers who can read.” Ms. Steele
• “I agree with the idea of unity, but isn’t that just communism?” Fritz
• “Her, but, ...” Elise
  • “Woh, what about her butt?!” Ms. Foster
• “Sixth graders shouldn’t have friends.” Mrs. Geyer