• “I want you to sit close enough so that I can hit you if I have to.” Mrs. Devino
  • “It could be an evil woman-doer.” Mrs. Devino


  • “If you don’t like gossip, this is not the class for you.” Doc
  • “We like the awkward turtle in this class.” Doc
  • “I know it’s embarrassing having a teacher who knows more about music than you.” Doc
  • “Doc, you trained us for Cash Cab.” Kemal
  • “Florida’s just old people, alligators, and dead armadillos.” Claudia
  • “Doc when was the last time you were out in the woods with the administrators?” Kemal
        • “Oh... this morning. When was that, three hours ago?” Doc
  • “Politically Incorrect 101, that’s what this class is.” Doc
  • “Poem 9 probably has too much explicit sex in it.” Doc
  • “It’s from the Boston public library, which is where I live!” Doc
        • “You live in the Boston public library?” John
  • “I base my whole life on superstition.” Doc


  • “Unless you plan on slitting your wrists and writing in blood, you need to bring something to write with.” Mr. Cousineau
  • “I daresay, that is sexy. That is some good frickin data.” Mr. Cousineau
  • “Applying accerlation? Dude, it’s not deoderant.” Mr. Cousineau
  • “It always comes back to the original question. How did you get into this school?” Mr. Cousineau
  • “Separation of church and state!” MaPo
        • “You just ruined Christmas.” Craig
  • “It rhymes with dope...” Mr. Cousineau
        • “Marijuana!” Brandan
  • “If you actually solve the marijuana of the line, you’ll find that it’s constant.” Mr. Cousineau
  • “You have like a one in a billion chance. It’s better in Vegas.” Craig (talking about quantum physics)
  • “Truck driving school’s looking better every day, isn’t it JD?” Mr. Cousineau
  • “So a bullet proof vest could stop an ocean liner.” Brandon
  • “Where’s Allen?” Brandan
        • “Probably the same place you were.” Mr. Cousineau
        • “My bed?” Brandan


  • “You are the future of America.” Mrs. Liu
        • “America’s doomed.” Aseeb
  • “I’m clumsy because I have my mom’s genes.” Phil
        • “You’re wearing your mom’s jeans?” Zoe


  • “He has a full head of hair. I am wicked jealous.” Mr. Mathes
  • “The day you got in [to Derryfield, the admissions office] was having a pot party!” Mr. Mathes
  • “I find it annoying when you find a website with a recipe for a baby and you don’t have a baby.” Mr. Mathes
  • “I don’t care anymore, I’ve lost the will to live.” Mr. Mathes
  • “It looks like it’s been fixed already. I don’t think it can have babies.” Mr. Mathes
  • “If you want to get bored, here’s something boring.” Mr. Mathes
  • “So many babies, so little time at weight watchers.” Mr. Mathes
  • “You slipped by, Matthew, but you would have been stringy anyways.” Mr. Mathes
  • “I didn’t make an excuse, I gave a reason.” Adrian
  • “If you want my opinion, I think you’ve got three-quarters of a y-chromosome.” Mr. Mathes


  • “Someone trusts you with small children? That means there will be less small children in the world!” Mr. Anthony
  • “I view my advisees as my children. I’m very maternal towards them.” Mr. Anthony
  • “Winning isn’t the only thing, it’s everything.” Mr. Anthony
  • “You know, learning a foreign language really increases your dating pool.” Mr. Anthony
  • “When I’m sitting in faculty meetings I have a lot of time to think.” Mr. Anthony
  • “You’re a moose turd!” Mr. Anthony
  • “Camille, the list of things you don’t know would be the longest book ever written.” Mr. Anthony
  • “Some of you already live in a cardboard box. You’re not making your mark on the world, are you?” Mr. Anthony
  • “There are always a lot of Spanish men around my mother, I must be Spanish. Yes, I will impugn my mother for a joke.” Mr. Anthony
  • “Honors student by day, prostitute by night.” Mr. Anthony
  • “Do you know what our teeth are for? They’re for tearing meat apart! Ideally while its still alive!” Mr. Anthony
  • “I want you to imagine a kid looking like a hot potato. You wrap it in tin foil with a little hole so you can spread butter on it.” Mr. Anthony
  • “Who watches documentaries? People who listen to National Public Radio!” Mr. Anthony
  • “Who cares about Ethiopia? Just nuke that country!” Mr. Anthony
  • “Rot your brains! Don’t watch stuff with real information!” Mr. Anthony
  • “I am the king of fashion.” Mr. Anthony
  • “Did you see that I was the Athlete of the week?” Camille
        • “The newspaper must have a really active fiction section.” Mr. Anthony
  • “There’s a word: nubbly. There’s a name for your first child.” Mr. Anthony
  • “It must be fun to be a nun.” Mr. Anthony
  • “My view is that abortion should be legal up to age 15.” Mr. Anthony


  • “And style is like pornography.” Mr. Bouton
  • “I told you a million times not to exaggerate.” Caroline


  • “Tell Bonnie and Gavin they’re expelled for a month. And it’s only that short because I’m generous.” Doc
  • “I go dumpster diving and I can get better things than that. Seriously Bonnie.” Doc
  • “If you ever think of killing somebody and you don’t do it, you’ll regret it.” Doc


  • “Package!” Phil
        • “Let me get out my magnifying glass...” Lucy
  • “Which crew is that?”
        • “I don’t know but I call stroke seat!” Heather
  • “Guys, I know you may be hungry, but try to refrain from cannibalism.” Vin
        • “I was eating, but not Seiger.” Zack
  • “You’re right Maeve, you’re not good-looking.” Maeve’s dad
  • “Maeve, this is horny. Like you.” Maeve’s dad
  • “The real question is: when you turn your car on, does it return the favor?” Maeve


  • “We got mixed genders in this bus, me and everybody else. All three kinds. Sorry, five kinds.” Mr. Moerlein
  • “Wow I love this participle here. It makes me feel like eating cake.” Mr. Moerlein
  • “Tell Matthew thanks for the crock pot, but what’s going on, crack pot?” Mr. Moerlein
  • “I think it was an old, Asian woman on her cellphone, from Massachusetts.” Pat


  • “I have a crush on him. He’s really cute. He turns 13 tomorrow.” Alicia
  • “It’s like a gay pride parade in a cereal!” Phil
  • “I put gin in [my tea] so that it’s more effective.” Doc
  • “He reallys needs to stop wearing Derryfield ties.” Phil
        • “He really needs to stop wearing anything.” Ellie
  • “This is what’s so great about life. There’s lots of useless crap in it. And people give it all to me.” Ms. Foster
  • “How did she get a boyfriend?” Ali
        • “I don’t wear fairy wings, and I don’t have a boyfriend.” Jen


  • “You just got boned.” Chloe
  • “Don’t follow too clowsley.” road sign
  • “I could buy a skunk to put on my head!” Ellie
  • “My new name is Ms. Froster. I will frost your cupcake.” Ms. Foster
    • "Is that like butter your muffin?" me
  • “My fesces are theses! No they’re not, they’re just crap.” Ms. Foster
  • “You could buy a Coke, or Chloe.” Ellie
  • “Where’s my baby hopper?” Ms. Foster
nov 14 2009 ∞
dec 4 2018 +
user picture ellierebecca: haha when did i say the tie quote? i don't even remember who we were talking about! =] dec 22 2009
user picture Erin: mr. petrillo :)