Mr. Mathes

• “Thought you were going to a private school and you ended up at a mental institution.”
• “I’m weird. I was born that way. My mother dropped me on a radiator.”
• “Now I’m living under a bridge in a garbage bag. I am beyond drunk.”
• “I was having pure-grain alcohol to forget my troubles from this class.”
• “You have a bigger mouth than a store of knowledge.”
• “Wouldn’t you feel better if you failed but it was an F+?”
• “What would happen to your self esteem if I got a raise because I hit you?”
• “You and Mr. Pythag would’ve gotten along well. He was also a crackpot.”
• “You better work or your college of choice will be YDC.”

Mr. Anthony

• “I walked into an elevator and the elevator wasn’t there. Guess I learned from that one.”
• “If you all went on a field trip and terrorists blew up you’re bus I’d say cool, I have another free period.”
• “I wish I could draw because then I wouldn’t be so bored in faculty meetings.”
• “That’s why you take latin; so you can use words like that.”
• “If I was the leader of a cult I’d tell you all to kill yourselves.”
• “It’s girls who are supposed to know colors in my little stereotyped world.”

Mr. Berk

• “Here's my number. Try not to call me, but if you must, do it before 10. That's when I beat my children and I really don't like to be disturbed.”

Ms. Roberts

• “Go drown yourself in the water fountain.”
• “I go home at night crying because of this class, I just want you to know.”
• “There was this girl who sat in the front of the class and annoyed the living snot pea out of us. Then three years later she got hit by a train.”
• “Yo mamma so fat she sat on a rainbow and farted out skittles!”
• “Seth is too busy hitting on my sister to focus on latin.”
• “Mr. McNeil shut your fat mouth!”
• “It’s like teaching in a special classroom.”
• “McNeil laughs like a woman.”

Ms. Foster

• “Grigoriy, you’re going to die a slow and painful death at my hands.”
• “What a great history class, we’re talking about drugs.”
• “I’ll give you extra credit if you spin so fast you throw up.”

Latin Class

• “Freshmen taste best deep-fried.” Sarah
• “Wait until I grow armpit hair.” CJ
• “This freshmen group is so lesbian.” Sarah
• “He’s playing this game with himself where every time someone gets something wrong he erases one letter of the word HOPE.” Seth
• “I feel like this is child labor. You can’t stop. Not if you want your daily handful of peanuts.” Sarah

Geometry Class

• “Matt, be quiet and get a life.” Anupa
• “We don’t pay $20,000 to come here and do the work ourselves!” CJ
• “What guy secretly doesn’t want to prance around in a skirt?” Ian Will
• “Matt, you are the easiest kid to make fun of.” Jake Davis
• “I wish I could read clocks.” Jake Davis

Biology Class

• “But no, I have to come in here and look at your little ugly faces.” Mr. MacKenzie
• “SHHHH! I’m going to put a sock in your mouth and tie it with duct tape!” KKH
• “Someone doesn’t know about sex...” Ariel
  • “What’d you say about me?” Steve

History Class

• “I’ve been un-Keinerized by Mr. Munhall.” Andrew
• “I have planted a seed and now it’s going to grow.” Ms. Foster.
  • “Unless you put salicylic acid in it.” Adrian
• “To show how stoned people never really got what they want ... look at the hippies.” Craig
  • “Craig, I’m cutting you off.” Ms. Foster
• “I was having like a mini rock concert in my shower this morning, then I got interrupted.” Adrian
• “Don’t worry I’m just pulling my pants down.” Andrew

English Class

• “Hey Ben maybe you can be the first female president.” Grigs
• “I wish Grig were here. I miss him ranting... and me telling him how stupid he is.” Ben
• “Let’s find this so-called Mount Olympus and blow it up.” CJ
• “Is this a country club or a school?” Mr. MacKenzie

Choir

• “In memory of Fritz...” Patrick Khayat
  • “Not in memory of Fritz!!” Mrs. Devino
• “My cat and I have been in my basement for three months so her tail doesn’t stick up anymore. Maybe it doesn’t stick up because she ate too many of my special brownies.” Mallory
• “Let me tell you, if you learn to breathe as a singer, having a baby is really a breeze.” Mrs. Devino

XC Running

• “You just hit a small child. His name was Billy. Now he’s all red on the ground.” Marcel

Nordic

• “I didn’t kill the rabbit. The arrow killed it. ...But I threw the arrow.” Mr. Moerlein
• “Oh no! He’s taking us into the ally and going to shoot us! Cannibal Lefebvre!” Mr. Moerlein
• “Lefebvre, you should be a swimsuit photographer.”
• “It’s not my fault I have the maturity of a four year-old.” Paige
• “Paige what are you drinking out of that paper bag?” Mr. Moerlein
  • “Um if I told you I’d have to kill you.” Paige
• “I hope they fire me.” Mr. Moerlein
• “I’m going to drive on the dotted line! We’re all going to die.” Mr. Moerlein
• “I think sleep would be a good way to avoid this race.” Paige
• “Let me draw the third person, I’m not sure if you’ll recognize her.” Paige
  • “Lefebvre!” Tim
• “I have a life outside of... crew.” Charles

Advisory

• “I like your shoes Chandra.” Mr. Smith
  • “Thanks...” Chandra
  • “Maybe I could borrow them sometime. You could wear mine.” Mr. Smith

Miscellaneous

• “Is a dragon’s tail attached to it?” Maeghan
• “Maeghan have you been drinking?” Ellie
• “Erin took the last apple crisp, Carl.” Kaitlyn
  • “Sweet mother of God.” Carl
  • “Yeah, that’s me.” KKH