so I've been having. a LOT of dreams about natural disasters, child death, and my inability to stop said things?? I don't fucking know WHY but its definitely tied to feeling like I'm not in control of shit or smth. anyway here's summaries

Very vivid dream. Raining out while me and Brooke are travelling via car through the city- looked like Leominster at times, felt like Boston or a long road windy seaside town. Misty and foggy and grey. We arrive at destination- Brooke gets to go through this lil clinic no problem and doesn't wait for me. I have to stand there and put on my mask (which was wet from the rain, so I asked for a new one). They ask me what date I was vaccinated, and because I hesitate just *once*, they ask me for ID. It takes me a moment to fish it out of my pocket, and while I'm procuring it he says "Oh, actually, you're fine." And I ofc am like "Are you sure? I feel like I should show you anyway." And he's like "Oh okay whatever" and so when I look.. my covid card is missing, which I kept in the back of my phone case; I had four blanks in there and one filled out one.

The lady/guy helps me find it (it was tucked inside some other paperwork I kept in the back of my phone) because I have to have vaccination proof before going to volunteer at NM. Passing through NM, I have a snippet of snapchat conversation, where there's tea but I'm considering dropping out of the snap thing because Williams is in it. I go to volunteer at the elementary school after briefly walking through NM, Julia G and Emily (coworker) are volunteering too. When I get there I patch up a girl's bleeding knee with my tie dye bandaids, Senora and Gaughan are working at this school. I'm starting to wonder if I might be good at teaching. I try to help the teachers control the kindergarteners and yell at the ones I know (Matthew) so they go sit down while there's a presentation. They all sit obediently in the hallway of Spaulding.

Little girl is the student body president, gets carried away and doesn't know how to finish her speech. The little girl in my lap is trying to be obnoxious, I think she looked like Jules. The girl on the FAR left is being restrained by teachers and I cant see, and the student body president blames other kids talking on making said kid have a breakdown. The second that I turn my attention right again toward the principle, there are screams coming from the left.

The entire fucking WALL is gone, replaced by windy grey, and with all the kids and faculty that were just there are fucking GONE. There's a massive tornado around the school- somehow we're the eye of it. I hear kids screaming and I keep ushering children toward the middle of the school, running from classroom to classroom to collect and rescue as many as I can. The entrance to the school basement is at the middle, and I see teachers trying to help kids in, so I have them run that way. Eventually I have to run myself, no thought abt Brooke or Senora or anyone.

Yet for some reason when I get there, after having let many kids wrists slip through my hands, I realize there IS no basement and it's just this big flesh pit that fucking eats shit thrown into it. I wake up in what I assume is horror because I see the spiders that I always do when I wake from a nightmare _____________________________________________________________

and then Another wind natural disaster I have to save a bunch of children from (including kids I knew like Jared, Sean, etc) and Evan was there too. There was some stuff abt magical powers and Minecraft etc. I don't remember as many vivid details/plot points about this one but it's! Funky, huh!

edit: changed some names, 01/05/2022