i am so fucking disregulated without a job im going fucking INSANE. if i could feel normal for two seconds instead of like a fucking freeloader! that'd be nice!!! if jobs could get back to me with a "no" instead of not responding to me at all!!!! that'd be nice!!!! if i could not have anxiety about this month's expenses THAT'D BE NICE!!!!!!! what the fuck is my PROBLEM can i literally put any of the energy that's expended on feeling awful into, i dunno, looking for fucking jobs, so that i can SOLVE THE ISSUE that is causing it???? i need to not be drawing max i need to be finishing a commission from fucking weeks ago now. i need to be looking for jobs around here that wont ask about my employment history considering i was fucking FIRED!!