YEAR FIVE? YEAR FUCKING FIVE??? dawg i didn't even think i was going to make it this long. but on my run this morning (RUN?) i paused mid-stride and hit that "i'm growing up and i have to stop fucking around". every year i want to say that time snuck up on me with a cartoon hammer but now i know that i will never be able to write about the year until i really feel like it's about to end. this realization was brought to you by the soul-shattering revelation that real self awareness happens even when you're trying not to! i love growing up and wondering when i became the older people i used to think of! what do you mean this was the peak of adulthood!?

• FANDOMAPTHY: losing my religion on the internet

i haven't really engaged with any fandom. which is not a real sentence to me but. this is the first time in maybe 12 years? more than 12? that i haven't been thinking of or revolving blorbos in my head. i haven't even said the word blorbo in ages. it feels like the way i used to pre-2020 before really getting into ao3 fanfiction. what do you mean i'm using tumblr and twitter again but not in the fandom obsessed hyperfixtation way. what do you mean i haven't had a new hyperfixation this year.

the extent has been revisiting haikyuu over the summer, watching figure skating in the last month with quinn and michelle (VIRTUEMOIR I LOVE YOU) and lurking on f1 and nhl blogs. this sounds so sad i'm losing the sparkle in my eye. which kind of explains the general state of apathy i've been.