when i think about all the things i have gone through last year, i feel like i can afford to be happy about anything now. or at least i can give my self that without feeling bad about it. i no longer want to live in regret, in sadness for the things that i am not, in envy over the things i see that other people can be, and in yearning to be somewhere else. in truth, i am so proud of myself. so proud of how far i have gone, so proud that i have not hurt anyone in the process, so proud that i am still alive and so proud that i am in capacity to finally be grateful for it. i am happy to meet everyone, and to be surrounded by people who appreciate me even if i cannot comprehend the love that they have for me fully. perhaps the thing i need to work the most on is letting love in. (((despite being full of it))) ((in spite of being full))