i'm at the end of march and things are the best they've been for me in almost three years. there is the promise of a future with me in it that's not constrained to one place, the same place i've been beating my feet for the past twenty years that i've been trying and failing to leave. at some point i feel like i've lost myself. sometimes it feels like i've forgotten how to write. how to format paragraphs and structure a sentence. nothing comes naturally anymore, and i guess it could bring into question what it means for something to be "natural," anyway. i'm more sure of the person i want to become while simultaenously being terrified that nothing will ever happen to me and i will stagnate forever with my successes forever being calcified by the person i shed three millennia ago. i'm not sure where this is going to end. but it will keep going, in the way that most things tend to do. i'm no...