• "I have gone to Prague," she wrote, "to be without you."

tags: relationships

• "I would run away with you tomorrow if I weren't dating your best friend," he said while we were having sex on my best friend's bed.

tags: irony best friend sex cheating

• I said, "Take it slow," and she said, "Take it or go," so I went.

tags: relationships

• On my 30th birthday I got rid of my horrible husband, changed the locks, got a tattoo on my foot and spent the night with the man I really loved.

tags: divorce freedom love

• The young man standing nearest the casket was dressed exactly the same to his identical twin brother, who was lying in it.

tags: twins death irony