i started my screenplay finalieeeee... cowboy dancing lesbians ROLL OUT

here's another update for you: i signed up for soo many clubs. so many clubs (2 clubs). so many. so excitement. my bio lab + lecture is awesum. my chemistry lab + lecture are like water to the grand canyon there is a greater cause they are inadvertently pushing me toward but at what cost. my chem lecture is like 10 students and the prof gets irritated when no one volunteers to answer her questionsknxfdnxdjfnk

familial dynamics really are that important to me. sometimes i'm like yeah that's so me and it doesnt really click until a while later when i'm like ..........thats so me. all dynamics. mother father sister brother cousin nephew. all of them are important to me. the mechanics of a family. i wish i could take care of everyone

• i've been developing this story about two lesbians (obviously) in mexico in the late 70s/early 80s. one of them is a writer (obviously) obsessed with the mexican revolution and writing a story about lesbians in the rev (meta) and the other is a cowboy forewardslash farmer forewardslash hermit forewordslash flirt. their mother's are family friends. they run into each other and end up finding a lot in common. did i mention the writer works in the local mercado. did i mention that the cowboy comes into town to buy their groceries and buys double of his favorite snack to offer one to the writer. i imagine developing it as a screenplay and having it be like one of those queer films where nothing happens but everything happens. this concept is mostly just a collection of headcanons for my ocs
• the backrooms as levels of the inferno. s...

the semester is finally over!!! my life is awesome!!!! just kidding my mom is up my butt and around the corner about getting a job but how do i tell her i have adhd and am basically already about to return to dorms for spring semester. what is 5 weeks in the grand scheme of things? let me write. speaking of! ive (re)started the screenplay i mentioned on sept 5. its a narrative now. like a novel. i just couldnt work out how i wanted the story to begin as a screenplay so i'm writing it as a book first. going swell! i'm loving ballet folklórico, i've performed twice already and made some friends and its so much fun (albeit a lot of work physically, but its good for me). one of my friends from dance is my winter break penpal. i just sent out a letter for her yesterday. updates to come!

i'm watching youtube in los angeles

• UPDATE: i'm listening to abba in los angeles

• disco elysium
• tyk/woh
• mdzs
• tgcf
• the sopranos
• entire red robin 2009 run
• naturalist on the river amazon
• american gods
• the sandman
• omori
• red dead redeption

• cat cafe ($35 entry fee and a 1.5+ hour trek.. at what cost -> there will be cats AND kittens.. and snacks) DID IT
• aquarium ($8 entry fee and a 1.5+ hour trek.. at what cost -> fishies and walking along the pier, maybe a quick extended family visit) DID IT
• nature reserves in the area (1+ hour trek.. at what cost -> ambiance and peace of mind)
• orange grove + duck pond (it'll be sewww hot if i go while the sun's still up.. at what cost -> i dunno. reading with the squirrels. this doesn't sound too fun at this time of year)DID IT
• tattoo spot (haven't found an artist whose style i like/trust enough to get the piece i want done yet.. i also have no money yet.. at what cost -> it'll look sick when it's done with the right artist)DID IT

• Cultivate authenticity, let go of what people think
• Cultivate self compassion, let go of perfectionism
• Cultivate a resilient spirit, let go of numbing and powerlessness
• Cultivate gratitude and joy, let go of scarcity and fear of the unknown
• Cultivate intuition, let go of the need for certainty
• Cultivate creativity, let go of comparison
• Cultivate play and rest, let go of exhaustion as a status symbol and the idea of productivity as a measure of self worth
• Cultivate calm and stillness, let go of anxiety as a lifestyle
• Cultivate meaningful work, let go of self doubt and 'supposed to'
• Cultivate laughter, song, and dance, let go of being cool and in control