tw: suicide

it seems to be getting more and more frustrating with each passing day. i don't even know! it feels like i've had at least 50 exams for each subject (which at this point may as well be true) and it's a bit more frustrating knowing that i'm pretty much set up for failure (thank you british education system for your classism, you never cease) especially knowing i've had a total of 4 months of teaching for the entire year. being set up from an early age to be this A-grade student who would certainly pass everything with flying colours has fallen in on itself embarrassingly for everyone involved, i think.

not sure i've ever seen such a miserable procession the way i see my classmates walk home every day. it really is a mental health crisis. i think just about every last one of us is tempted to throw ourselves in front of the cars driving past (it's a bit obvious with the amount of times i hear "_i want to die_" in the corridors everyday). if i were to become a martyr for any cause, i think doing it to tell the SQA to go fuck themselves is a good one.